Coaching Blog

On September 27th, I had a fun talk with Winnie Dunn, PdD, OTR, FAOTA, the leading authority on sensory processing, on how differently we each experience the world based on our sensory traits.

Winnie is an internationally recognized researcher on how people respond to sensory experiences in their everyday lives. She's also a graduate of the Certified Positive Psychology Coach Program here at SCM and knew I had done a series on Sensory Processing Sensitivity, a common trait among coaches. She generously she sent me a copy of her book, Living Sensationally.

Once I read Winnie's book, I knew this was a topic coaches need to understand! Your sensory processing is determined by how your nervous system is wired and to you, it represents reality. But everybody else is wired differently so their reality, and their behavior, may sometimes clash intensely with yours. The solutions to these challenges can be quite simple, but first you must understand what is going on.

Read further to learn about the Four Major Sensory Patterns, how they show up, and some simple ways to manage them. You may recognize yourself and others you know! Get answers to questions such as:

• Why doesn't my spouse ever notice the laundry is piling up?
• Why does my date always want to leave a party just when it starts to get good?
• Why does my office mate HUM when I'm trying to work??

Also learn a bit more about Winnie and her incredible career as a Distinguished Professor in the field of Occupational Therapy. And learn about her current successful career as a strengths-based coach and coaching researcher along with her business partner, Ellen Pope, PhD, another coach who has been certified by us.

According to Living Sensationally, there are four major Sensory Patterns.

These are based on two factors. The first is neurological thresholds. How much sensory input does it take for your brain to notice? If it doesn't take much, you have a low threshold. If it takes a lot, your threshold is high. The other factor is how you self-regulate sensory input: Are you active or passive about it?

1. The Seeker has a high-threshold and actively seeks more sensation. They are likely to be the adventurers and partiers you know. They are fun and exciting but may be too much sometimes for some people.
2. The Bystander has a high-threshold and is passive about experiencing sensation. It can take a lot to get their attention because they don't notice sensory inputs that may be obvious to others. That can be frustrating and exasperating for other people.
3. The Sensor is low-threshold and active about managing their sensory input. They can be easily overwhelmed by sensory overload so they manage situations and communicate to others what they need. They set boundaries, but if they don't do it with finesse, people may find them stifling or controlling.
4. The Avoider has a low-threshold and is passive about managing sensory input. They also can be easily overwhelmed but may not speak up about it. They just avoid people, activities, and situations that are too much, when they can, which can confuse and even hurt other people. If they cannot avoid overload, they may have trouble managing their emotions, because too much sensory input can eventually make anyone lose control and it happens faster when a person has a low threshold.

Read Living Sensationally to learn details on how to manage conflicts between different sensory types. The first step is to recognize that people's sensory patterns aren't chosen. We cannot rewire ourselves to please others, but we can learn to respect, negotiate, and compromise. Winnie offers some dead-easy workarounds to  resolve problems that I thought might be impossible to solve.

This information might help one of your clients save their marriage or job. It might even help you save your own!

Here's a sensory example you may find amusing. I am a Sensor with some Avoider habits. If I buy lotions or other personal products, I like mild scents, no dyes, organic ingredients. If they are sold in a spa-like or Zen-like environment, so much the better. But I have relatives that love products from Bath & Body Works, which sells personal products with strong scents, that may have beads and grit that offer sensory stimulation, plus bright colors. If I enter their stores to buy gifts for others, it is like a cacophony of scents, sights, and sounds. I get in and out as quickly as I can. These stores and products were clearly designed for Seekers and Bystanders. In fact, Bath & Body Works posts salespersons outside their stories who pounce on passersby and tell them all their special offers. Clearly, they are not going to let a Bystander get past without noticing this store that was designed especially for them! Me? My inner Avoider doesn't even want to walk past that store when I'm not buying gifts! (If you are a coach who is learning about marketing, this is a perfect example of a company identifying its target market and desiging everything around them!)

Learn more about this fun topic by watching the FREE Living Sensationally Video with Winnie Dunn:

Quick! What's that outside your window?

Is that your future peeking in at you? Would you even recognize it? Is it just a wisp of a shadow of a dream? Or do you know what it looks like, already?

That last could be awesome or terrible.

Your future is yours to create. Do you have the energy? The focus? The care? The know-how?

Because if you leave it to chance, chances are it won't serve you. Read on...

Around the world, a species that was feared in danger of extinction just one year ago is reappearing: folks with gray hair and wrinkles who are now fully vaccinated. Sightings of this once rare breed have been made at stores, gyms, resorts, restaurants, and even hair salons. No longer forced to spend all their money on Instacart, they are once again venturing out their homes and the economy is returning to normal.

Soon, you may be vaccinated yourself. It'll then be your turn to start living life on your own terms.

Who will you be when you can be who you want to be?

Right now, you may be too exhausted, stressed, or burned out to think about your future. That's okay. If you can begin to take care of yourself even a bit, you can get back to normal soon. But don't force yourself to focus on the future if it drains you.

May I suggest that you start with the basics if you are worn out?

Begin with one deep delicious breath. Breathe in through your nose for a count of five and exhale for five-to-eight counts. Do this anytime, anywhere, when you need to relax and refocus. Watch calmly for improvements to your mind-state, because this type of breathing triggers censors in your body that tell your brain you are safe and can relax. This is tremendously healing. Return when you are ready. This blog post will still be here.

Next, take a moment to process any grief you're still carrying.

Whether loved ones lost, family not seen, jobs that ended, or even vacations interrupted. Each loss deserves at least a moment of acknowledgment. Heavy emotions are just information. Get the message and they will move on.

Now here's a crazy question: What did you gain from the pandemic?

Did you learn a new skill set? Make new friends online? Realize what really matters to you? Write down at least three valuable things you gained from the pandemic and why they matter to you now.

What happened that you never want to do again? How will you prepare yourself so you never go through that worst thing? Train for a new career? Move to a community of like-minded people? Stock up on toilet paper?

What did you swear you would change?

How can you keep that promise to yourself? Because promises unkept tend to weigh us down.

What habits served you during the lock-down that you want to keep?

Many of us will keep our 20-second handwashing habits! And what about those Zoom happy hours?

What habits served you during the lock-down that you can begin to let go?

Will you still wear a double mask when you become immune? Will you check Covid stats every morning?

Now, what would you do if there was nothing in your way?

What dream has been knocking at your window unanswered? How can you take a step toward it? Even a small one? Commit to taking that step. Then tell a supportive friend or loved one about it. Better yet, work with a coach. Then celebrate it. The first step is usually the biggest.

Keep taking steps to elevate the dawn of your new future.

I hope this was useful for you. If helping people is part of your dream. I invite you to try out our coach trainings.

The questions I most often hear from coaches are: How do I get more clients? and How do I get ICF certification?

If you're wondering about either of those, we've got you covered and now there's a free video that explains the whole thing to you.

This video is part of our new Free Coach Training Program. Interested? Read on...

There are so many things you have to do to become a successful coach:

• Develop a coaching mindset and walk your talk.
• Practice your coaching skills everyday.
• Keep up-to-date on the latest coaching research.
• Develop a spiritual practice that integrates you.
• Take extra-good care of yourself.
• Develop credibility in the eyes of others.
• Get over your fear of being a fraud.
• Get a respected certification.
• Learn to run a business.
• Learn to attract coaching clients.
• Develop strategies for reaching your goals.
• Make a great living.
• Etc.

At School of Coaching Mastery, we've been working hard at solving these problems for our members, but here's the thing: We can give you the tools, but you have to do your own work. Wise coaches already know this and love diving in with well-crafted tools. Work is fun when you're learning, making progress, and succeeding at your goals.

Solve the problem of what to do first: Get the clients you need to be a real coach or get the certification you need to attract the clients. You can do both at the same time. We'll tell you how in this video.

Watch this informative video to find out how you can combine many of the above goals into one process that has worked for thousands of coaches:

Positive psychology and positive psychology coaching are associated with positive thinking, but that's erroneous.

Positive psychology is about resilience, or the ability to "bounce back" from adversity. You cannot have resilience without adversity and the emotions that go with it: the so-called negative emotions like grief, anger, frustration, etc. We have these negative emotions because they tell us what is working for us and what is not. When we learn to respond to negative emotions instead of stuffing them down, we start having better lives (and fewer negative emotions.) Resilience requires flexibility.

Rigid positive thinking is a trap that can lead to failure and despair.

This morning, one of the founders of the Institute of Coaching, Susan David, announced that her TED Talk, The Gift and Power of Emotional Courage, just went live. The Institute of Coaching has done perhaps more than any other organization to promote research and education about positive psychology, coaching, and emotional intelligence. The latter goes hand-in-hand with positive psychology coaching, because it teaches that flexibility part: how to identify one's own feelings and those of others and navigate the emotional landscape within ourselves and with others. Coaches, like most leaders, must have emotional intelligence to be fully effective. We teach about that in Emotional Intelligence and Leadership Coaching.

Coaches need emotional intelligence to coach with positive psychology, which is why I became a Founding Fellow of the Institute of Coaching.

So I'm pleased to share with you the wisdom of Emotional Agility via Susan David and TED:

If you'd like to learn more about positive psychology, coaching, and emotional intelligence, please download the free Become a Positive Psychology Coach eBook:

Watch this fascinating TED Talk called, "Want to get great at something? Get a coach".

How one physician became much better at what he does and how his research proved that coaching improves outcomes. By Atul Gawande, this is moving, inspiring, and informative:

Want to get great at something? Find a Coach Here.

Want to become a coach? Get the FREE Become a Coach eBook or join our upcoming course for beginners.

Last week , I posted an article about The Future of Coaching: How the Internet is Causing the Rise of Coaching.

It shows how changes in technology are driving the demand of professional Coaching. So I thought you might be interested in where coaching is, right now, according to the 2016 Global Coaching Survey by the International Coach Federation (ICF). It's the largest coaching survey to date.

Watch this awesome 4-minute video on Professional Coaching Today from the ICF:

Professional Coaching Today from ICF Headquarters.

Interested in becoming a coach? Get the free eBook Now:

Here's a great new video about positive psychology coach training.

It's by actor, coach, and host of "Marcus Recommends", Marcus Freed, SCM-CCC. He quotes positive psychology coaches, Valeria Pittaluga of Italy, Paula Facci of Brazil, and Jess Dods of the U.S.A.; about their experiences becoming certified positive psychology coaches.

If you want to quickly learn about positive psychology coaching, this video is packed with information in just over two minutes. Valeria calls positive psychology coach training a "brilliant opportunity" to learn about "healthy entrepreneurship". Paula mentions her increased confidence, "astonishing" results, and the "double digit growth" of her business. Jess says the results are "powerful and lasting" and he "highly recommends" this path to other coaches. Thanks to everyone who made this video possible.!

Enjoy the video here:

The training program these coaches took is the Certified Positive Psychology Coach Program. If you want to become a professional coach in today's market, positive psychology is you best bet because it is informed by science and it is flexible enough for customization for each coaching client. The program, itself, is customizable to your goals and timeline and it prepares you for the International Association of Positive Psychology Coaches' Certified Positive Psychology Coach® credential, the mark of professionals. Classes are a mix of live and video recordings so you can maximize your time and complete the program as soon as you want. Our pay-as-you-go approach makes this program affordable for nearly everyone. Visit the program page, download the Fact Sheet, Course list, and fill out the application. You can be on your way to becoming a professional positive psychology coach by next week!

Learn more about becoming a Certified Positive Psychology Coach here: