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ICF Research on the Future of Executive Coaching

Posted by Julia Stewart

Future of Executive Coaching by Codice Tuna Colectivo de Arte

The ICF recently blogged on the results of its Executive Coaching for Results study of nearly 1,000 internal coaches (who are employed by an organization), external coaches (who work within organizations as independent contractors), and organization practice managers (a.k.a. coaching practice managers). External coaches were by far the most represented in this study.

Results show growth in many areas of executive coaching, as predicted by with a recent Standford study that shows that virtually all executives want more coaching.

What is executive coaching?

  • Executive coaching is a form of leadership coaching.
  • Executive coaching is similar to life coaching, but for executives.
  • Unlike life coaching, executive coaching often focuses on:
    • handling conflict better. 
    • mentoring and developing talent.
    • learning to share leadership and delegate.
    • improve team-building skills.

The report points to likely trends for 2020-2022, at least according to the groups surveyed.

Here are the top trends expected to increase for executive coaching:

  • Leadership development that includes additional coaching
  • Leader-as-coach training
  • Coaching for millennial leaders
  • Increases in external executive coaching, but with fewer vendors
  • More internal coaching
  • More team and group coaching
  • Increased preference for certified coaches vs. non-certified coaches
  • More online coaching management systems

Scoring lower are the following: more coaching supervision (coach-the-coach), app-based coaching, commodification of coaching, coaching via artificial intelligence.

The future looks strong for executive coaches, especially those who who specialize in the top-trend areas and who are certified.

The fundamental skills of coaching are the same whether they are applied to life, business, or executive coaching. Start  learning the skills and get your first certification, here:

Become a Certified Competent Coach

 

 

Topics: executive coaching, ICF, future of coaching, leadership coaching, coaching research

Tony Robbins, #MeToo, Apologies, and the Future of Everything

Posted by Julia Stewart

Tony Robbins

Tony Robbins (above in a screenshot from his site) got into hot water last month for his comments about the #MeToo Movement, victimhood, and women being addicted to safety and significance.

Now it's all over social media via a NowThis video and even made it to the New York Times. Robbins has apologized and explained. And explained and apologized. But what's missing from his apology is awareness of where he went wrong. The clue was in the story he told to make his point which revealed culturally patterned unconscious choices on his part that probably keep him, and his wallet, safe in a significant-feeling little bubble. Oh dear.

So where did Tony Robbins go wrong?

  • Was it because he said victimhood was about being addicted to getting needs like safety and significance met? No. Victimhood is a dangerous place to get stuck, but #MeToo isn't about victimhood. What I mean is owning that you've been victimized is empowering, but it can and does keep you painfully stuck if you over-identify with it or try to stay there. He's not wrong about that, but talking about victimhood within the context of #MeToo was dumb.
  • Was it because he said that people can get addicted to their needs? Robbins' Six Human Needs are at the center of his philosophy. They're based loosely on Abraham Maslow's brilliant Needs Theory. We use a variation of Needs Theory at School of Coaching Mastery. It's powerful and chasing needs does look a lot like addiction, but the mechanism is different. #MeToo isn't about addiction.
  • Was it because Tony Robbins is always the biggest alpha male in any room? Probably. He's 6'7", powerfully built, has a ridiculously deep voice, and is rich and famous, so it's unsurprising he has no idea what it's like to be physically intimidated by big powerful men. When the video shows Nanine McCool, the tiny but courageous woman who challenges his characterization of #MeToo, being backed up by Robbins without her permission, while his big hulking body advances with that big friendly puppy dog smile on his face, he looks like every creepy guy who's backed a woman into a difficult situation while she tries awkwardly to smile and/or reason her way out of it. Massive fail. And I know the tool he was trying to demonstrate, that when we're pushed, we instinctively push back, but usually it works better to cooperate. Except when you're about to be raped. (My favorite rape story - if there such a thing - is about a woman who cooperated until the man had his pants off, then she kicked him in the groin so hard she flipped him over her head and she ran away screaming, so maybe Robbins has a point.)
  • Was it the story he used for proof of his point about the famous and powerful male client who was too stressed to hire a qualified beautiful woman? YES. Are you kidding me? The guy hired a less-qualified man because the woman was so attractive she posed "a risk". I'm no ACLU attorney, but I'm pretty sure that's a civil rights violation. Does Robbins acknowledge that? Nope. He adds for emphasis that he's heard dozens of stories like that as if that proves #MeToo is hurting both women and men. The man in the story should be removed from his position and replaced by someone more qualified who can control their own behavior instead of making it somebody else's problem. Robbins' unconscious cultural pattern stopped him from questioning whether his famous and powerful male clients were being victimized by a trending movement or whether it was time for them to grow and change.

 

Maybe he should ask more and tell less like most good coaches.

 

During the 2016 election cycle, a colleague of mine (a woman) who is masterful in the theory of Spiral Dynamics, predicted that Donald Trump (another famous and powerful man who gets himself in trouble around women) would be a catalyst that will propel the world into a new age. I totally agree. Trump is a backlash, or throwback, depending on your point of view, of a way of being that is still clinging to power, but is damaging too much of the world too survive. Robbins coaches those titans. Maybe he should coach them to deal with the world that exists today, rather then the one they wish existed.

 

Or is Robbins too addicted to safety and significance to take that risk?

I hope not, because the future itself is deeply at risk and a man like Robbins, who has devoted himself to personal development, could make a huge difference. Mr. Robbins, STEP UP. Then again, maybe famous and powerful titans should be coached by women who can already see the future.

 

Don't make big stupid mistakes. Get a coach who asks more than tells:

 

Find a Coach Here Directory

 

Topics: Tony Robbins, Spiral Dynamics, FIND A COACH

Neuroplasticity Coach: How Brain States Become Enduring Traits

Posted by Julia Stewart

neuroplasticity coaching

Lately I've been reading the excellent book, Altered Traits, by Daniel Goleman and Richard J. Davidson, two giants in the fields of emotional intelligence and  neuroplasticity.

If you're a neuroscience geek, like me, you may enjoy reading all about the research, but if you're just curious, here's the lowdown, plus the connection with coaching.

They wanted to set the record straight about research into neuroplasticity, meditation, mindfulness, and how states developed via positive practices can, over time, become enduring traits.They're concerned about the hype that surrounds these popular topics, especially mindfulness, because it's so trendy right now, and they share what science really knows about tools that change the brain instantly, and over time, sustainably, leading to greater happiness, equanimity, resourcefulness, and transformation.

States are temporary changes in the brain that impact how we think, feel, and act. They are an important driver of human experiences, relationships, well-being, and success.

Brain states can be measured in a variety of ways, such as fMRI imaging of blood flow to various parts of the brain, EEG measurements of brainwave patterns, or measurement of neurotransmitters present in the brain; to name three. They also can be measured indirectly via observance of behaviors or via self-reports by subjects, but this is more the realm of psychology, specifically positive psychology.

States are fleeting. We may not always notice when our brains change states, but trained observers often can witness these changes. States can be positive or negative, which are generally categorized by how pleasant or unpleasant they feel, how likely they are to promote behavior that results in desired outcomes, and how they may promote wellness or pathology.

Many so-called positive states are pleasant, promote desired behavioral outcomes, and can result in greater health.

Skilled coaches help alter their clients' states in virtually every coaching session. Our main objective is to move the client from a less resourceful to more resourceful state and take advantage of that greater resourcefulness to plan strategies and actions that can promote desired change.

It's pretty profound that coaches can alter their client's brain states, but truth is, we all alter the brain states of others' without even knowing it, often with undesirable consequences. Coaching amounts to communication that leads to positive, or desirable, outcomes for the person being coached, because they are, temporarily at least, more open, more solution oriented, more optimistic, more creative, and more resourceful.

How are traits different from states?

Traits develop over time when someone repeats the same thoughts, emotions, memories, habits, and behaviors. The brain actually changes physically as a result, because the neurons involved strengthen their connections every time the thought is repeated.

As the famous saying goes, by neuropsychologist, Donald Hebb, "Neurons that fire together, wire together."

For example, if you live a stressful life, and especially if you worry and ruminate about what stresses you, the neurons in your amygdala, called "the brain's alarm bell" by neuropsychologist, Rick Hanson, will strengthen their bonds and over time, will cause that structure to enlarge. The downstream results could include more stress, more worry and rumination, and perhaps behaviors that make things worse rather than better.

Neuroplasticity can go the other way, too. Positive practices, such as mediation, mindfulness, appreciation, shared warmth, and many others, seem to have a cascading effect on the brain and resulting behaviors, over time. Theoretically, coaching and being coached, as well as following through on many coaching exercises, such as journaling, practicing gratitude or mindfulness, or even following through on resourceful actions and developing new positive habits, can make enduring changes. The new becomes the default.

So there you have the connection between states, traits, and neuroplasticity coaching.

If you'd like to learn much more about these topics, consider taking the Intro to Coaching with Neuroscience course that is coming soon. You can earn 8 ICF CCEs and it's approved for 8 ACSTH within the Certified Positive Psychology Coach® Program.

Check it out here:

Become a Neuroscience Coach

 

Topics: gratitude, Certified Positive Psychology Coach, coaching with neuroscience, mindfulness, Neuroplasticity, positive psychology coach training, become a positive psychology coach

Coach Training Schools vs Graduate Schools That Teach Coaching

Posted by Julia Stewart

coach training schools by papanooms.jpg

If you want to become a coach, your next question is: How?


There are thousands of ways to do it, but getting some coach training will help. Depending on the type of training and the source, it may help a lot.

You could get your training on the cheap via YouTube, Podcasts, MOOCs, and other free coach training. This is usually the path chosen by coaching tourists and coaching tourists don't get coaching clients. If you want to coach as a hobby, that's fine. But if you're like most coaches,you need a well-designed program that gives you the skills, knowledge, and professional experience you need to step into professional coaching quickly and attract plenty of clients.

This leaves you with a choice between joining a professional coach training school or a graduate school that teaches some coaching. A prospective coach asked me about this choice the other day and here's a comparison chart. Some coaches actually choose to do both.

PROFESSIONAL COACH TRAINING SCHOOL   
GRADUATE SCHOOL COACHING PROGRAM   

Usually costs under $10,000

Usually costs over $10,000

Prepares coaches for professional coaching quickly

Educates students and gives some professional preparation

Usually offers coach certification

Usually offers a degree or certificate

Usually takes a year or so of part-time work

Usually takes a year or so of full-time work.

You can build your business or career while training

You may not have time for a business or career

Should be approved for at least 100 hours by the ICF

Should be approved for at least 100 hours by the ICF

Here are important questions to ask yourself:

  • How much money do I want to invest in my career?
  • How soon do I want to be coaching professionally?
  • What's the school's track record for graduating coaches with successful careers?
  • If certification is the preferred credential in coaching, do I still need/want a degree?
  • Can I afford to take time off from work to study coaching?
  • How much will it cost me to delay my coaching career?
  • Is my training program approved by the leading accreditor of coach training schools (ICF) for at least 100 hours?
  • Are there any travel expenses I need to consider in order to graduate from this coach training program?
  • If I want both professional training and grad school, which will give me what I want right now?

To get more questions answered, download the free Become a Coach eBook.

It offers tips on choosing the best coach training school for you:

Get a free Become a Coach eBook here.

Topics: coaching business, coaching school, become a coach, coach training schools

Life Coaching and Post-Healing Society

Posted by Julia Stewart

earth_nasa.jpg 

There is a broad assumption in our society that many, if not most people need to heal, as in restore health or be made whole. And while healing is a phenomenal process that can restore life to millions of people, and for which I am most grateful, I believe we are increasingly moving into a "post-healing society" and I'm not alone.

Post-healing is itself an extraordinary milestone in human evolution, which deserves to be talked about and clarified, so we all know when we are experiencing it and so we can have more of it.

I'm sometimes surprised by people who are unaware of even the possibility of a post-healing society.

So what am I talking about when I say, "post-healing society?" I'm calling it "post-healing", because at the start of something that is this complex and revolutionary, it's helpful to make a distinction between newly emerging conditions and that which went before, gave rise to the new, and is now distinct from it. Over time, I believe a different name will emerge that describes more fully what "post-healing" really is, but for now, let's look at how it is different from healing society.

Post-healing society and healing society currently overlap and will do so for the foreseeable future.

I'm talking largely about psychological healing here, but body, mind, heart, and spirit are so entwined that that distinction may not be altogether important. In fact, appreciating the inherent wholeness and interconnectedness of body, mind, heart, and spirit is a feature of post-healing.

From a psychological perspective, healing society arose and reached its zenith in the second half of the 20th Century when defining mental illnesses, cataloging their symptoms, and finding effective treatments for them became the primary focus of the fields of psychology, psychoanalysis, and psychiatry. As treatments became more effective, the impact on society was seismic. People started to understand their own differences and difficulties, as well as those of others, learned to ask for what they needed, began to experience wellness, spoke up for their rights to be treated equally and with respect, and for many, to a large degree, suffering was diminished.

When there is less suffering, new possibilities emerge.

But by the end of the 20th Century, many professionals seemed to believe there was something psychologically wrong with us all. I heard one psychologist say that everyone had something, either a neurosis, personality disorder, or psychosis; or else they had addictions, brain damage, or other neurological disorders. Another told me that in therapy, neurotic is what you want to be, because everything else is worse.

So what is healthy if everyone is ill, including apparently (since everyone has something), the therapists, themselves?

I wasn't the only one wondering about this, because positive psychology officially emerged in the 1990's as a sub-specialty of psychological research. Positive psychology is specifically concerned with studying people who are doing well, who enjoy well-being and are flourishing, so that others can learn from them and enjoy greater well-being, also.

The pioneers of positive psychology, notably Martin Seligman, went so far as to declare that the goal of positive psychology was to render itself obsolete. In other words, that the larger field of psychology would return to its original intent and cover the entire range of human behavior, rather than just focusing on what was wrong.

Here's a real-world example of post-healing. Seligman was asked by the United States Armed Services to help returning servicemen and women who have developed Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), a debilitating illness that is particularly difficult to heal. After surveying a large number of soldiers, Seligman's team found that a small percentage, who had been exposed to many of the same horrors of war as those who developed PTSD, actually seemed to grow through the experience.

The key to growth rather than illness? It was the story they told themselves about it, in other words, the meaning they attached to the event. If a soldier told him or herself that they were at fault for the deaths of their buddies, or that they should have been able to save a friend, they were more likely to develop PTSD. If on the other hand, they told themselves that they must have been spared for a reason and that now they had an important purpose to serve with their lives, they were more likely to experience what Seligman calls, Post Traumatic Growth.

Now there is training for soldiers that can help them grow through trauma, instead of being damaged by it.

We could call this pre-healing, since it precedes the need for healing. I call it a post-healing intervention, because it comes from a mindset that sees the limitations of healing and, instead of allowing a problem to continue and then waiting to heal people from it, it has found a solution that eliminates the need for healing (An even more advanced post-healing society would eliminate the need for war.)

As an aside, I want to mention that 20th Century psychology has focused, from a scientific and medical standpoint, on many of the same issues that were once thought to belong to the realm of spirit, spirituality, and religion. Afterall, its name is derived from the Greek, "psykhe", meaning soul, spirit, or mind.

Today's "spiritual-but-not-religious" movement focuses on healing almost as much as the psychological field.

But modern spirituality also focuses on the transcendent, trans-personal, upon enlightenment, and other lofty states. Like the field of psychology that is envisioned by Seligman, spirituality focuses on the full range of human behaviors and experiences.

An example of post-healing spirituality is Zen Master, Genpo Roshi's, brilliant integration of voice dialogue therapy with modern Zen, called Big Mind. The goal of Big Mind isn't healing, but Buddhist enlightenment. It begins with the assumption that the student is already whole, complete, and perfect; including the parts s/he would like to eliminate!

An example is what Roshi calls a "disowned voice", a part of us that we judge negatively and may want to eliminate and that can become a problematic shadow. One such voice is what he calls, "The Damage". Most of us who seek out healing would love to eliminate what we consider damaged in ourselves. Some of us go from therapist to therapist, spiritual healer to spiritual healer, for years hoping to finally be healed.

Don't go to Roshi for healing, though. Instead, he completely reframes the role of The Damage. He will tell you that you are already whole, complete, and perfect, including The Damage, which is perfectly damaged. It's perfect, because it has accepted all the slings and arrows of your life, so the rest of you can remain undamaged. No more, no less.

What would you call someone who took a bullet for you? Your hero?

The Damage is a hero who accepts all the damage we would otherwise endure, allowing the rest of our selves to remain whole, complete, and perfect. It deserves to be honored and embraced. Instead, we cause suffering for ourselves by framing it as imperfect, not good enough, broken, or sick. When we go through life believing we need to heal, we sometimes keep old wounds open, we feel less than, we sometimes give away our power to healers, or we may use our condition to be less than fully responsible for ourselves.

Once you embrace that you're whole, complete, and perfect, there are no more excuses.

I'm not suggesting that these two examples of what I call, post-healing, are what everyone needs. Remember, both the healing society and post-healing society will exist side-by-side for quite a while, if not forever. I am suggesting that healing has opened the door to post-healing.

I'll use myself as another example. As someone who grew up in the proverbial dysfunctional family, I worked with a number of therapists over the years, believing there was something wrong with me. They made a big difference. But one of the most dramatic shifts that I made with any therapist was with the last, who at one point said, "Read my lips, you're healthy." Accepting that there was nothing seriously wrong with me was like waking from a dream. Suddenly, so much more was possible. I felt confident and believed in myself.

Of course, I wouldn't have gotten there without the help of some wonderful healers. And that's my point. Therapy got me ready for post-healing. And it got me ready for coaching, too.

Life coaching is, as far as I know, the first and perhaps only profession that is completely post-healing.

Life coaching and its siblings, including business coaching, executive coaching, and more, don't focus on healing clients, but rather assist clients to shift into more resourceful, and some would say, transformative mind-states that help them see solutions to problems and pathways to goals, while inspiring them to take action and create the outcomes that are best for themselves and others.

We see our clients as whole, complete, and perfect. We believe in them from the very start. We help them reframe limiting beliefs, integrate disowned voices, and experience their interconnectedness with others. As a result, they become more confident, believe in themselves, evolve into who they want to be, and create valuable changes for themselves and others. It's both an honor and an interdevelopmental experience to work with people who are discovering their true selves for the very first time.

They step into their greatness and go on to change the world for the better.

Imagine a world where all people not only heal, but reach their full potential and are inspired to transform the world. It's not a dream. Because of the good work done by healers, clients are becoming ready for post-healing and coaches go on to make transformative possibilities real everyday.

Would you like to join the post-healing society?

Find a coach here. Or become a coach. Your first step toward professional coaching might be to download the  FREE Become a Coach eBook.

Get a free Become a Coach eBook here.

Topics: business coach, executive coach, become a coach, Genpo Roshi, Big Mind Big Heart, Life Coaching, Positive Psychology, Martin Seligman, free ebook, post-healing

Coaching Tip: Enlightenment Can Be Bad For You

Posted by Julia Stewart

Coaching TipHow do coaching, personal development and spirituality cause dysfunction?

If you think coaching, personal development programs and spirituality are always good, think again. The tools that coaches use and that personal development gurus and spiritual teachers also may employ are usually great when used in the right situations by people who are ready for them. Try using most of those tools in every situation, though, and you can get yourself in a whole lot of trouble.

Which tools am I talking about? Well, many. But here are a couple of examples that are closely related to each other:

  • Seeing the perfection in every situation
  • Eliminating the ego 

I've coached a lot of people who were 'highly evolved'. They were very spiritual and always saw the beauty, opportunity, learning, etc. in everything and rarely let their egos get in the way.

Their lives were a mess. And they were tough to coach, because they felt good and they thought they were supposed to think that way. People who feel good aren't motivated to change. People who feel good when their lives are a mess are in some ways a little bit crazy (not a diagnosis, just an observation).

Come to think of it, I passed through this stage years ago when I first started meditating. Suddenly, things that used to bother, hurt, or anger me, didn't anymore. It was very freeing. It felt good. I loved it.

And my life started falling apart. Why? I'd lost my boundaries. I got into dysfunctional relationships, because my former warning system, pain, had shut down. I was very forgiving, had but lost the ability to say, 'Hey, this is not okay with me.' Fortunately, I learned to grow past my 'enlightenment'.

Coaches who have drunk too much of the Coaching Cool-aid, sometimes fall for this. They will quickly reframe every challenge as an opportunity. Or they will coach everybody they meet, as if their own needs never even matter. They lose critical skills when they try to show up 'like a coach' in every situation (and they're less effective as coaches).

Skills like:

  • Discernment
  • Engagement
  • Commitment

Procrastination, complacency, and cluelessness may set in. Because after all, everything's great, right? So there's no need to make changes. People may start to avoid them. Relationships, careers, health, and finances begin to fall apart. But all the while, they feel GOOD, because they're stoned on their own endorphins. And like all opiate addicts, they've lost the ability to notice and respond to their environments. Not pretty.

Positive psychology researcher, Barbara Fredrickson, says too much positivity gets us in trouble. People tend to do best when they experience positive thoughts and feelings about 75-90% of the time. Anymore than that and they stop  heeding warning signs, miss important details, become over-confident, and lose credibility with others. They may spiral into failure and despair, as a result. That's not what you want for yourself or your clients.

In addition, by choosing in advance to respond to everything in the same way, they are limiting possibilities, rather than expanding them.

Worse yet, they may create shadow behaviors that are acted out out unconsciously. 'No ego' becomes arrogance ('I'm more enlightened than you!'). 'Seeing the perfection' becomes passive aggression (Got a problem? 'Just see the perfection in it, or else you're not 'woke'.)

One of the many things I value about Zen Master Genpo Roshi's teachings is that he takes this problem head on. He calls this level of enlightenment dysfunctional and says a zen  master's job is to push you through this stage as quickly as possible. Because otherwise you can get profoundly stuck. Feeling good all the time is very, very seductive.

Not many teachers even recognize this problem. In fact, some of them are actually stuck here, themselves. Many teach that this stage is desirable. Don't get sucked in by that.

Remember the saying, 'When you're going through Hell, keep going'? Well the great thing about Hell is that it feels so awful you want to keep going.

The awful thing about Enlightenment is that it feels so good, you want to stay there. And as soon as you try to hold on to it , you're not enlightened anymore. Delusion is enlightenment's shadow. Keep going.

When you fully engage with life, experiencing pain, resistance and yes, even your ego, you are fully alive, highly functional and - you're enlightened in a mature way. Then you've got the makings of a great coach. Yes, get your ego out of the way and see the perfection when you're coaching your clients. That's your job and it's a huge value to the people you coach. But when you're not coaching, be fully human.

And keep going.

Fully Alive Personal Development with Positive Psychology is a free extra program that's included with the Certified Positive Psychology Coach® Program. Learn more about it here:

Explore the Certified Positive Psychology Coach Program

Topics: Coaching, Barbara L Fredrickson, ENVIRONMENT, Coaching Tip, Certified Positive Psychology Coach, Genpo Roshi, personal development, Positive Psychology, spirituality, Fully Alive, positive psychology coach, enlightenment

Positive Psychology Coaching: How to Use Negativity to Improve Coaching Outcomes

Posted by Julia Stewart

Leadership Coaching Emotional Intelligence

Every positive psychology coach understands the importance of positivity, but the great ones know how negativity can boost coaching outcomes, amazingly.

If you've been reading this blog (subscribe upper right), you know about positivity theory and the positivity ratio (Fredrickson, 2006). The research is clear: Positivity changes lives and delivers wellbeing. But that's not all. People who experience at least three times as much positivity as negativity aren't just happier, they're more successful, more generous, healthier, and have more harmonious relationships. Who doesn't want more of all that?

So how can negativity help?

Here's a story: I once knew a coach, let's call her Wanda, who was new to positive psychology coaching. One of Wanda's first clients was a mid-level manager at a toy company, who wanted to move up the company ladder. Wanda coached him with loads of positivity and he accomplished one step after another toward his goal, until they were both certain he was on the brink of success. Then he got fired. Yep, fired.

How'd that happen? Wanda's client had some inter-personal issues he wasn't aware of. Wanda noticed them during coaching sessions, but didn't want to focus on the negative, so she never brought them up. Too bad. Those issues got on his boss's nerves, disrupted the whole department, and even made his team less productive. One person can cause a workplace to spiral so deeply into negativity, that the whole company suffers. That's toxic.

Positive thinking can't magically fix a toxic situation unless the toxicity is fully addressed. That means you need to deal with the negativity.

Remember that positivity ratio of three to one?

Another way of saying it is 75% positivity to 25% negativity is the gateway to flourishing. You can go higher, say, 90% positivity, but much beyond that and you and your clients will tip into a multitude of unnecessary problems.

What sorts of problems?

  • Obliviousness. Negativity wakes us up when something is wrong (Boyatzis, 2011), but incessent positivity lets us waltz straight into our worst nightmares, just like Wanda's client did.
  • Missed details. Positivity broadens our awareness, but negativity narrows our focus on what needs to be done (Boyatzis, 2011). Details matter.
  • Complacency. People who are constantly positive sometimes coast when they need to work. For example: Children who are told they need to work, make better grades than children who are told they are smart, because the "smart" kids often don't try as hard (Dweck, 2006).

How can negativity help?

  • Resilience. Negativity toughens us up and helps us develop grit. People who persevere through difficulties, are more likely to succeed (Duckworth, 2016).
  • Needs satisfaction. Negativity is designed to drive us toward getting our needs met, so we can survive. While positivity is more useful at helping us reach for growth and ideals (Boyatizis, 2011). Interpersonal problems often arise from unmet needs (Maslow, 1962).
  • Survival comes before growth. We need to reach a critical mass when satisfying our needs before we can effectively focus on growth (Maslow, 1962).

How could Wanda have succeeded better with her client?

  • Be a coach who is naturally positive, but never steps over concerns.
  • Help the client get their needs met, sustainably.
  • Ask the client challenging questions, the ones they're afraid to ask themselves (and the ones nobody else will mention).
  • Help the client bring positivity into their relationships. Train them to ask more, listen more, and look for what's working before focusing on what's not, unless it's an emergency.
  • Be honest. Holding back your observations is never fair to your clients.
  • Help the client grow beyond their immediate goals. Once needs are met, growth becomes available and that's what propels clients into amazing success.

These are just a few ways Wanda could have upgraded the value of her positive psychology coaching, immensely.

Imagine what her hard-working client could have accomplished if he had adjusted his relationship skills in time to win the promotion he passionately desired.

This focus on the importance of negativity is sometimes called the second wave in positive psychology, but it isn't new. Emotional intelligence has always studied the entire gamut of emotions to help people be more successful in their relationships and work. That's especially important for leaders, because they influence all the people they lead. But let's be clear: Everybody is a leader sometime and humans, who are the most social of animals, all need emotional intelligence to navigate harmonious relationships.

That's why School of Coaching Mastery is launching its exciting Master Certified Positive Psychology Coach program with an advanced course on Emotional Intelligence and Leadership Coaching

This is what's next for professional coaching, in general, and positive psychology coaching, specifically.

Learn more about becoming a positive psychology coach. Get the free eBook:

Free Become a Positive Psychology Coach eBook

Topics: ICF, Certified Positive Psychology Coach, Coaching Certificate, positive psychology coaching, advanced coach training, emotional intelligence, positivity

Coaching Tourists Don't Get Coaching Clients

Posted by Julia Stewart

Coaching Tourist - photo by Elan Sun Start

Fifteen years ago, I found myself in a hotel lounge chatting with a group of coach trainers about our coaching students. We were all there as certifiers for a live coach certification event for the largest coach training school in the world and someone brought up an odd coaching phenomenon that we had all noticed...

Thousands of people have fun dabbling with coaching, but never fully commit. That's fine, but most of them seem to think they are seriously building businesses, but they don't make much progress. It reminded me of a recent trip to Hawaii that I'd taken where I noticed how different a tourist's experience of the islands was from a Hawaiian resident's.

I said, "Yeah, it's like they're coaching tourists."

There is nothing wrong with being a tourist, but it gets expensive and it rarely builds a real business. If you want to get coaching clients, it's important that you know when it's okay to play (and for how long) and when it's time to get down to business.

So I designed an assessment that'll give you an idea whether you're just a tourist in the land of coaching or whether you really live here. I hope it helps!

The scoring key is below. The higher your score the more you're acting like a tourist rather than a coach who is building a successful business. Learn what to do about this and get on the path to success now.

0 is a perfect score. No problems here!
5-15% is very good. Why not upgrade to great by working with a coach?
20-45% is okay if you're just getting started with a good coach or training program. But don't delay.
50-100% You're definitely are a tourist. Unless you're independently wealthy, you probably should either do something else for a living or get more serious about building you coaching business.

Take this free life coach assessment:

Are You a Coaching Tourist?

 

Topics: coaching business, coaching clients, coach training school, coach training instructors, how to get coaching clients, coaching tourist

COACH: Step Away From That Webinar!

Posted by Julia Stewart

Coaching webinarFree webinars (also tele-summits, teleclasses, teleseminars, teleconferences) are an incredible way to learn amazing new stuff from top-notch leaders.

Most new coaches and a lot of not-so-new coaches love to spend time on fantastic webinars. The reasons are 5-fold:

1. Webinars are a cheap, easy, and convenient way to connect with like-minded people from around the world to talk about stuff your family and neighbors may not give a hoot about.

2. As a new coach, you have a lot to learn. What better way to learn it than to listen to the experts tell you how they did it and how you should do it.

3. Practically everyday, another not-to-be-missed webinar series is launched that you simply must attend. Often, these webinars are free, so how can you say, 'No'?

4. You can sit in your bedroom, wear your underwear, pet the cat, drink coffee, and answer email; all while you learn from the world's greatest thought leaders!

5. (Biggest reason) As long as you're taking webinars, you're moving forward on your path to becoming a successful coach, because you're learning and growing, right?

If you're like thousands of other coaches, probably not.

Free webinars are the heroin of coach training: Cheap, available everywhere, trendy (for a while), and incredibly easy to get addicted to. That last point explains why they are so available: Because people get addicted to them, they make  perfect marketing vehicles.

The reason I say you are not moving forward with your business when you are watching webinars, is for one simple reason: You can't build your business that way. You just can't.

And if you're like many of the newbie coaches that I know, the real reason you spend so much time hanging out on webinars is that taking steps to build your coaching business is scary, uncertain, and you are afraid of making mistakes.

Webinars are the coach's favorite excuse for procrastination.

Sorry. The truth isn't always pretty. What can you do about your webinar addiction? Well, until they come with Surgeon General's Warnings or alarms, red flags and flashing lights, you need a plan. And you must stick to your plan. Here are a few points that might help:

  • Figure out how many client hours you want to be coaching each week.
  • Double that number and you have the number of hours each week you need to spend on building your coaching business.
  • Mark those hours off on your calendar and use them to actively build your business. Daily.
  • None of those business-building hours should be spent in webinars.
  • Consider time spent on webinars as entertainment time. Make that time a reward for genuine business-building.
  • Limit your hours in webinars, just as you would limit a child's time watching television.
  • Don't worry if you miss a webinar program. If one coach/guru/marketer is doing something cool this month, you can bet another will do it next month. You'll never miss a thing. Seriously.
Some webinars will benefit you more than others. Prioritize those that are part a progressive (usually paid) program that actively teaches you how to do something you need to know, gets you into action, and gives you feedback on how you're progressing. Also prioritize those programs that you lead, yourself, those that you actively participate in, and those that teach you something you need to know this week, because you are applying the lessons right away. 

Have a big vision for your coaching business and actively create it in reality.

Unless your big coaching vision is of you sitting in your bedroom, wearing your underwear, while you pet the cat, drink coffee, and answer email, step away from the webinars!

If you truly love to coach and have the courage to build a business, but need a plan that doesn't require endless webinars, consider Coach 100 Business Success. It comes with some webinars that will teach you how to fill your coaching business with clients, but you'll spend most of your time coaching and getting clients. 87% who complete the program have full coaching practices! Download the Coach 100 free eBook here.

Fill Your Coaching Business with Coach 100

 

Photo by jerine at flickr creative commons.

Topics: become a coach, Coach 100, coaching clients, make a living as a life coach, Free, Coach Training Programs, coach, teleclass, how to become a coach, coaching businesses

Successful Business Coach: A 20-Year Veteran Spills Her Secrets

Posted by Julia Stewart

mattison grey and business coaching clients by Eric LeJeune

I asked Houston Business Coach, Mattison Grey, if I could interview her, because after 20 years of success, I knew she had insights that other coaches would want to know.

A few weeks ago, Mattison celebrated her 20th "Coachaversary", meaning she's been coaching professionally - and blowing minds - for 20 years. I traveled to Houston, along with many of her current and former clients, to attend the impressive celebration, followed by a mysterious "quest collage" workshop, the next day.

Here pictured are several of us at the workshop (No, we're not on jury duty!). You may recognize three current/former SCM students, Matt Connor middle front, Eric LeJeune, who's taking the selfie, and Nancy McCabe between them, way in the back. Mattison is half-hidden, third from the left (appropriate because coaching is all about your clients). I'm at the far right. Also pictured from left are Gika Rector, Sarah Shah, and Kathi Crawford.

The 42-minute interview recording is below. We cover topics like...

  • What was it like way back in the olden days of coaching?
  • How did she succeed so well when some coaches struggle?
  • What's a typical week like for Mattison?
  • How to distinguish yourself from other coaches.
  • Why saying things like, "My life is my certification," will drive away potential clients.
  • What does the future hold for coaching?
  • A whole lot more. Listen below...

Mattison has an awesome offer for you and it's free:

Acknowledgement Hotline - Do you want to be fully acknowledged for something?

March 2 - December 28, 2018 3PM Eastern/NY Time (UTC-5)

[UPDATE: This is a new number. If you copied the old number it won't work.]

Dail in # +1 712-832-8321
Participant Access Code: 1432672

The acknowledgement is free, but you may have to pay long-distance fees, depending on your carrier. Learn more about acknowledgement with the book, The Motivation Myth by Mattison Grey and Jonathon Manske

Get acknowledged by a trained acknowledgement expert including Mattison, Eric Lejeune, Sarah Shah, and Kathi Crawford.

 

Listen here to the video interview online (no need to call in)

 

 Would you like to tell people the secrets to your success, someday?

Coach 100 has been helping coaches fill up their coaching practices for 14 years. You could be one of them. Download the free eBook here:

 

Topics: business coach, Coach 100, coaching success, Mattison Grey, free ebook

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