Coaching Blog

When Coaches Gaslight Their Clients

Posted by Julia Stewart

Gaslighting and manipulation

 

Coaching is a professional service that empowers clients to grow and reach goals. So how is it possible that coaches can be gaslighters?

Well there are tools used by some coaches that leave clients feeling confused, filled with self doubt, and even helpless and hopeless. That's not empowerment. These are symptoms of being gaslighted.

Has this ever happened to you or are you a coach who does this? Find out with this quick 5-minute read.

Read this about gaslighting if you don't already know what it is.

 

In short, gaslighting denies the other person's reality by confusing and blaming them. It's a form of manipulative abuse and is often done by a person of authority to gain power and control over others. Others use it as a crutch when they feel insecure. It is common in our culture and you likely have been gaslighted or have gaslighted others without realizing it. If you have, you need to stop. If you are a coach who does it, please stop immediately.

 

Gaslighting is usually subtle, but here is an example that is easy to see. I knew a psychologist who would attempt to control others (coworkers, friends, family) by starting an argument with them by pushing their buttons until they got angry. Then the psychologist  would tell them the reason they were upset was that they were mentally ill, that they needed treatment or hospitalization, and the psychologist could help them get it. Can you imagine how this would feel? If you were insecure, you might doubt your sanity and believe the gaslighter was trying to help you, but they weren't. They were trying to control you by denying your reality.

 

In this post I am going to focus on one particular coaching area where gaslighting often, but not always, occurs: Spiritual Gaslighting In short, this happens when a coach teaches a spiritual tool to a client, tells the client that the tool will help them reach their goal, and if the client doesn't reach their goal, tells them it's the client's fault. Sound familiar?

 

These spiritual tools often have grandiose names like the Law of Attraction and the Law of Mirrors and the coach may use double talk and negativity to confuse the client.

 

These tools are sometimes used by scam artists but mostly well-meaning coaches use them. It happens when the coach is nervous or self-conscious. This lowers their empathy and leads to unconscious negativity and black and white thinking.

 

Examples:

 

  • "It's not working for you because you are doing it wrong."
  • "You choose to feel bad."
  • "If you wanted this enough you would do anything to get it."
  • "What have you done to attract this problem?"
  • "If you see a negative trait in someone else, it's because you have that trait."
  • "This is your karmic payback."
  • "Your low vibration is holding you back."
  • "Your negativity is stopping you."
  • "You're not focusing on abundance."
  • "You need to register for my $40,000 platinum program to learn this."

 

It's easy to see the glaring negativity (and the scam) when you put these all together.

 

When you blame and shame your client, they don't feel safe. You trigger their fight, flight or freeze response which stops your client from being resourceful. Instead, they become MORE negative. They don't reach their goals. And they won't want to coach with you.

 

If you have trouble attracting and keeping clients, listen to yourself coach. Nobody wants to pay to be gaslighted.

 

If you think you may have gaslighted a client, here are some ways to stop:

 

  • Stop listening to coaches, teachers, or anyone else who gaslights you.
  • Stop gaslighting yourself.
  • Get science-informed coach training.
  • Work with an effective coach and experience what great coaching is really like.
  • Lower your own stress and increase your empathy before each coaching session.
  • Keep working at it until your clients are so thrilled with your coaching that they tell everyone about you (and thereby do your marketing for you).

 

How can you enjoy the benefits of coaching while avoiding the gaslighters?

 

Step into science-informed coaching. It is just as spiritual, but way more effective.

 

Join the International Association of Positive Psychology Coaches

 

Topics: Coaches, spirituality, IAPPC, Gaslighting, science-informed coaching

What is Positive Psychology Coaching, Anyway?

Posted by Julia Stewart

positive psychology coaching two men

If you are a coach or you are thinking about becoming one, you need to be aware of the trends in professional coaching.

There are two big coaching trends:

1. The trend toward more science-informed coaching, a.k.a. positive psychology coaching, because potential clients have heard some crazy stories about certain  coaches.

2. The trend toward more credentialed coaches, especially certified coaches, for basically the same reason.

We've got you covered for both!

Read on for information on positive psychology coaching, a new IAPPC certification that is currently free, a course that can help you pass that certification, and a free downloadable scoresheet on the IAPPC Positive Psychology Coaching Tools (This is a 2-minute read)...

 

So what is positive psychology coaching, anyway?

 

Here's the International Association of Positive Psychology Coaches (IAPPC) definition:

Positive Psychology Coaching is a science-informed customized conversation that empowers the client to grow and reach an important goal or vision.
 
 
What does that mean?
 
 
"Science-informed" means this type of coaching has a underpinning of scientific research. As Dr. Dan Siegel has said,

"We must be informed by science, not constrained by it."

 

Coaches still use their natural curiosity and intuition and other strengths, but they have science-based  tools that help coaching become more effective and limit any biases a coach may have.

 

"A customized conversation" means the coach does not follow a coaching formula or template, nor a set of competencies, but personalizes each coaching conversation so it best supports the client's success.

 

These conversations also "empower the client to grow" into whoever they need to become to reach their treasured goals of life visions.

 

So there you have it! How can you become a positive psychology coach?

 

Visit our scheduled courses here. Read more about them here.

 

How can you become an IAPPC Certified Positive Psychology Coach® for free?

 

Members of the IAPPC are helping us take a new approach to certification and we are thanking them by making certification free through this year. Join IAPPC here and get started!

 

Want to know more about IAPPC coaching?

 

Download a free simple scorecard on the IAPPC Positive Psychology Coaching Tools.

 

Request Your Scorecard Here

 

Topics: Free, Coach Certification, Certified Positive Psychology Coach, become a positive psychology coach, IAPPC

How Coaching With These Strengths Can Prevent Coaching Mistakes

Posted by Julia Stewart

Strengths are Your Superpowers

Strengths are ways of doing and being that help us accomplish things faster, or more easily, or achieve better results, and/or have more fun in the process. 

Our individual strengths help set us apart from others.

VIA Character Strengths have been pretty well researched, so we can make some predictions about how they might show up in coaching. One prediction is that whatever your top strengths are, they can help you coach more effectively, especially if you practice coaching with them until you obtain mastery. This makes more sense than trying to mold yourself into coaching like someone else, even someone who you think is masterful.

Curious how your top strengths can help you coach more effectively?

Here's how each of the 24 Character Strengths can help you coach more effectively.

 

  1. Creativity helps you stay open to new ways of being and doing and modeling that for your clients can help them prevent narrow mindsets that keep them stuck.
  2. Curiosity helps you stay present throughout the coaching session. That's the only time you can coach!
  3. Judgment may help prevent your client from jumping down the rabbit hole of narrow decision making because you can assist them in thinking through all sides.
  4. Love of Learning will inspire you to practice and learn ever more about your strengths, without which you won't master your strengths enough to be an effective coach.
  5. Perspective can prevent you from getting mired in the details of your client's complaints and it can help you reframe their stories so clients get the outcomes they want.
  6. Bravery will prevent you staying quiet when you need to ask an uncomfortable question.
  7. Perseverance helps you stay supportive with the client who is growing, but at a snail's pace. Sometimes, great clients need to go slow.
  8. Honesty helps you honor your ethics and integrity. Without them, you'll fail to achieve the foundation of coaching, which is trusting relationships with your clients.
  9. Zest prevents low-energy coaching sessions that don't inspire. Actually, the coach who uses their own strengths to coach is more zesty even if Zest isn't one of them.
  10. Love will stop you from coming across cold or disconnected which blocks effective coaching.
  11. Kindness helps you communicate tough information in ways your client can hear. Don't be a sledgehammer coach.
  12. Social Intelligence helps prevent disconnects with your clients, because you can fathom what's going on with them even if they can't articulate it, yet.
  13. Teamwork will stop you from thinking for your client, or making plans without their input, which is never helpful.
  14. Fairness helps you put your biases aside or at least admit them to the client so they can decide how to proceed.
  15. Leadership prevents passive coaching. Your clients need your positive input.
  16. Forgiveness helps you accept your clients' humanity. They can't be superheroes all the time.
  17. Humility can help you avoid competing with your client, or pretending to be the expert, because your ego is out of the way.
  18. Prudence helps you choose your words carefully so they have optimum impact. Because confusing your clients with messy communication just wastes their time.
  19. Self-Regulation can help you stay quiet when you think you know the answers.
  20. Appreciation of Beauty & Excellence helps you notice when your client is doing great work even when they think it's not much. Nothing is more validating than a genuine note of awe in your voice.
  21. Gratitude stops you from taking your clients for granted because you appreciate the honor of assisting someone to be their best.
  22. Hope gives you faith and stops you from focusing on problems instead of solutions and opportunities.
  23. Humor prevents the conversation from getting heavy. That just makes things too hard.
  24. Spirituality brings meaning and purpose into the conversation. Without them, what's the point of coaching?

 

All 24 Character Strengths can help you coach. Whichever top strengths are yours, they provide the juiciest possibilities for you, especially when you are starting your learning journey.

 

Want to discover your strengths and learn to coach with them from the very start?

 

It's the fastest road to mastery, but most schools won't start your training this way. Take the course that's designed to start your coaching journey with your own strengths, values, and vision. Live classes start soon; you can get early access to resources; and their is still time to save on this valuable course.

 

Get started now!

 

Join Introduction to Positive Psychology Coaching

Topics: Become a Master Coach, gratitude, Strengths, Values, coaching excellence, become a positive psychology coach, IAPPC

Join These 3 Free Webinars with Pioneers of Positive Psychology Coaching

Posted by Julia Stewart

.Webinar banner

I want you to be among the first to know about the new Pioneers of Positive Psychology Coaching Series. Graduating members of the Part 2, Master Level, Certified Positive Psychology Coach Program will be leading one-hour webinars on how they are coaching their niche/specialties with positive psychology.

This year there is a special focus on coaching through the pandemic.These webinars are open to the public. We have three coaches presenting this year.

Register for these fre*e webinars today...

Pioneer Series: Coaching Entrepreneurs Through Uncertain Times

Are you an entrepreneur who has been impacted by the pandemic? Or are you a coach who coaches entrepreneurs? Or are you interested in positive psychology coaching? You won't want to miss this fascinating webinar with positive psychology coaching pioneer, Shatay Trigère, CPPC.

This is the first webinar in SCM's 2021 Pioneer Series. Open to everyone for fre*e. Seating is limited. Register separately for each webinar in the series.

Fri, Apr 30, 2021 1:00 PM - 2:00 PM EDT

Register for Coaching Entrepreneurs Through Uncertain Times

 

Pioneer Series: Nutrition Coaching Through an Intuitive Eating Lens

Have you been eating to soothe your anxieties through the pandemic? That is extremely normal, but leads to added stress around weight gain, body image, feelings of being out of control and negative self-talk. If you're curious how a positive psychology coach and dietician assists her clients through these issues, you won't want to miss this informative webinar with Dr. Leigh Wagner, CPPC.

This webinar is part of SCM's 2021 Pioneer Series. Open to everyone for fre*e. Seating is limited. Register for separately each webinar in the series.

Fri, May 7, 2021 1:00 PM - 2:00 PM EDT

Register for Nutrition Coaching Through an Intuitive Eating Lens

 

Pioneer Series: Becoming Positively YOU

During this presentation you will be introduced to a coaching framework and personal development workbook called Positively YOU. Positively YOU describes someone who understands and appreciates what makes them unique, and empowers them to live into their perfect and whole self. The goal of Positively YOU is to provide insights that will move individuals from living by default to living with intent. Don't miss this exciting webinar with Positively YOU creator, Stephanie Scott, CPPC.

This webinar is part of SCM's 2021 Pioneer Series. Open to everyone for free. Seating is limited. Register separately for each webinar in the series.

Wed, May 12, 2021 5:00 PM - 6:00 PM EDT

Register for Becoming Positively YOU

 

I know you will want to attend and learn from these exciting webinars.  And they are fre*e! Register right away to reserve your seat.

Want to become a positive psychology coach? Here's what our graduates have to say about our programs. Join Part 1 of the Certified Positive Psychology Coach Program, become a great coach with a thriving business and move up to Part 2, the master level, when you are ready, and become a leader in positive psychology coaching. Visit our site for more info or make an appointment here to find out how you can join.

Explore the Certified Positive Psychology Coach Program

Topics: webinar, Free, Certified Positive Psychology Coach, Positive Psychology, positive psychology coaching, positive psychology coaches, positive psychology coach, positive psychology coach training, become a positive psychology coach, IAPPC

How to Create Coaching Flow for More Ease, Fun, and Success

Posted by Mattison Grey

Mattison Grey

The following post is by Mattison Grey, MMC, master coach, trainer, speaker, and author of The Motivation Myth.

I have a saying…”connection wins.” 

While that might seem understated, it has been shown to be the case over and over in my coaching practice.  Have you ever noticed that coaching is more fun and effective when you have a strong connection with the client?  And that a close connection often leads to flow?  I think we can all agree flow is an awesome place to be with a client! It’s quite magical, sometimes elusive and often fragile. 

Have you ever been trucking along in flow with someone and then BAM, it goes away? 

Yeah, me too. Oops.  What the heck just happened?  Well, there’s a good chance judgment happened.  You see, connection requires trust. While that does seem obvious, and almost as obvious as judgment breaks trust, what is not as clear is that judgment breaks trust…all judgment.  Stay with me…Yes, even judgment that is “good.” 

Yep, judgment good or judgment bad, breaks trust.  So, when you accidentally (or intentionally) add judgment into flow, that flow is interrupted.  Judgment breaks trust, therefore, connection, therefor flow.  This is where the tool of acknowledgment comes in.

Acknowledgment, as I define it, eliminates judgment from our language and provides the opportunity to communicate and maintain flow. You can also use acknowledgment to create flow.  It sounds too simple to work, but it does - almost every time.  Flow seems elusive, but it’s not.  It just requires the coach to get out of and stay out of the way.  Simple yes, easy no. 

So, what is acknowledgment?  It’s probably not what you think. 

 

“Acknowledgement is saying what a person did (completed actions) or the results that the person produced, without judgment or opinion, and it is delivered with a tone of appreciation, curiosity, or surprise.”

The tone implies appreciation. “Wow, you really did something.”

Acknowledgement: “You completed the project on time.”

 

I can hear you now,  “I don’t judge people when I am coaching...”  I’d encourage you to revisit that idea and stay curious. Positive judgment is still judgment and any sort of judgment breaks trust. That is what makes learning and implementing acknowledgment into our coaching so tricky.  The tricky part of acknowledgement is that what you say must be delivered without your opinion or judgment (whether that is positive or negative).  If there is any opinion or judgment in your words or in your tone, whatever you say is no longer an acknowledgement.

Another key component to acknowledgement is that it is not about you. This is amazingly hard for people to get at first.  It sort-of scrambles the brain.  Even when I teach this tool to high-level coaches and “people” people, they struggle at first to take themselves out of the equation and to really make it only about the other person.  If the communication is in any way about you, then it is not acknowledgement, it is something else.

An easy way to begin to understand this distinction is to understand what acknowledgement is not.  It is not complimenting, appreciation, validation, affirmation, thanking, recognition, praise, championing or cheerleading.  There is a time and a place for all of these, and they are not acknowledgement (those things are all about you rather than the other person).

Here is what each of these sounds like:

  • Compliment: “The project is wonderful. You are so smart.”
  • Appreciation: “I really appreciate your completing this project on time.”
  • Validation: “I see that you have given this project a lot of effort and thought.”
  • Affirmation: “I think you deserve all the credit for this successful project.”
  • Thanking: “Thank you for putting all your time and effort into this project.”
  • Recognition: “It is clear you are a very talented project manager.”
  • Praise: “Awesome job.”
  • Championing: “I told the CEO that you were the right person for this project.”
  • Cheerleading: “I knew you could do it.”

 

While these communications sound normal and nice, they are all a judgment of the persons’ actions and are all opinions.  In the course of a normal conversation these types of communications are just fine, and often considered good manners.  However, when trying to create a high-performance environment and achieve and maintain flow, acknowledgment is essential.  

Want to learn more about how to incorporate this tool into your coaching practice?  Specifically, how to use it in conjunction with Active Constructive Response?  Join us for a free Webinar on Monday, February 24th, 2020.

 

Attend this free one-time-only master class with Mattison Grey and Julia Stewart on how to use acknowledgment to create Flow in your coaching. Register now:

 

Attend this Free Master Class on Coaching Flow

 

Topics: free coach training, webinar, acknowledgment, Flow, IAPPC

9 Ways to Coach Brilliantly with Silence

Posted by Julia Stewart

evocative silence

Have you ever heard someone describe coaching as "magical"? Good chance they were amazed by the impacts of a coaching session enhanced by silence.

Most coaches lack confidence with this tool. Read this post to master the art of coaching with silence!

Here are 9 steps to mastering the art of coaching with silence:

  1. Shut up. Sorry, just wanted to get your attention. But seriously, one of the surest ways to use silence is to ask an attention-getting question and then shut up. We teach the finer points of this approach, including how not to be rude, in the Certified Competent Coach Course. Read on for other ways to use silence...
  2. Add a pause. People think faster than they talk which explains why coaching sessions that include pauses at just the right moments often result in more insights for clients. I heard one of my students do this in class the other day and his client had insights seemingly out of nowhere. Magic? Or silence?
  3. Slow down. Before you get to silence, experiment with just slowing down. Most coaches mirror their clients' pace, which is good, but sometimes a slower pace is more helpful. Pay close attention to you clients when you do this so you get it just right.
  4. Acknowledge first. An acknowledgment followed by a pause can be more effective than the most powerful question. Theoretically, a coach who's mastered acknowledgment and silence might never need to ask any questions!
  5. Appreciate. When your relationship with the client is really solid, moments of shared warmth can boost the "magic" quotient higher. You co-create an environment where it's safe for anything to be said or to happen. Take time to enjoy your client immensely.
  6. Ask once. Sometimes a question comes out wrong. Resist the temptation to improve it and let that embarrassing mess hang in midair. Editing yourself confuses your client. Let them hear it, process it, and answer it before you speak again. Better yet, practice the art of crafting beautiful questions that never need editing. It takes time. You get that time in Master Coach Training.
  7. Breathe. One of the best ways to connect and focus is to take one deep delicious breath together. No talking, just focus on that breath. Ah. It's all much clearer now. Learn to perfect this in Neuroscience Tools and Practices.
  8. Visualize. Invite your client to walk through a visualization with you. Make sure at some point that you fall silent so your client can just focus on what they are visualizing. Encourage them to stay silent too.
  9. Put your phone on mute! The late great Ginger Cockerham once yelled at me while I was coaching in class because I'd asked a great question and the client was reorienting but I kept on talking. She said if all else fails, put your hand over your mouth or your thumb on the mute button because you can't be great if you're still talking. Give your clients room to think!

These are nine great ways to add space to your coaching sessions and help your clients get to the gold. They are perfect examples of what the International Association of Positive Psychology Coaching calls, Clear Communication.

 

Learn more about the IAPPC's Positive Psychology Coaching Skills and earn your certification. Join while it's free and attend live meetings to learn all the IAPPC PPCS:

 

Join the IAPPC Now and Save on Certification

 

Topics: coaching questions, acknowledgment, positive psychology coaching, positive psychology coaches, IAPPC

How Much Does Life Coach Training Cost?

Posted by Julia Stewart

How much does life coach training costTo become a credible life coach requires training and certification. But how much will all that cost you?

It depends. Answer a few quick questions to get an accurate answer:

  • Is coaching just a hobby or do you want a successful career with it?
  • Do you want to work for yourself or for someone else?
  • How soon do you want to start your coaching career?
  • Are you willing to travel for your training or does it need to fit your current lifestyle?
  • Are you more interested in a degree or a career?
  • Do you want to get certified? (Hint: certification can help your coaching career)

Coach training costs depend on several factors:

  • You'll probably need more training if you want a successful career than if you're just coaching for a hobby.
  • Likewise, if you work for yourself, you may need more training than if you are employed by an organization.
  • Some trainings take years; others take a few weeks. Many encourage you to coach while you train.
  • Travel costs add up quickly. Online training is usually more convenient and cost effective. Consider travel, lodging, and meals if you need to travel for your training.
  • Coach training schools will help you start your career, while graduate programs will earn you a degree.
  • Certification is the preferred credential in coaching, and certification from an independent organization is preferred over certifications issued by your school. Look for schools that are accredited/approved by independent certifiers.

Here's what you can expect to pay for life coach training:

  • You can get short trainings for under $1000.
  • Professional coach training runs between $3000 and $10000, depending on how many hours are involved.
  • Accredited/approved training programs often cost more. If you want a particular certification, such as ICF, IAC, or IAPPC, be sure your training hours qualify. The above organizations each have three levels of certification and may require more training for higher certifications.
  • Graduate programs usually cost more than $10000, sometimes a lot more.

How can you pay for life coach training?

  • Many coach training programs have payment plans.
  • Some coaches apply for a credit card with zero interest for the first year and pay with that credit card.
  • Some coaches get a part-time job and pay with the income they earn.
  • Some coaches keep their full-time job while they train.
  • Some coaches dip into savings.
  • Some coaches pay off their training with their income from coaching.
  • Some coaches downsize their expenses until their coaching careers take off.
  • Some employers will pay for coach training.
  • Many coaches use a combination of strategies to pay for coach training.

 

Learn the secrets of becoming a coach, how to choose the right coach training for you, and getting certification with this free eBook:

 

Get Your Free 'Become a Coach' eBook Now

Topics: life coach, Coach Certification, life coach certification, life coach training, online coach training, questions, free ebook, IAPPC

Coaching Accountability Isn't What You Think It is

Posted by Julia Stewart

Coaching accountability with a bullhorn cropped

Managing Progress and Accountability is an ICF Core Coaching Competency that is frequently missed when coaches apply for certification, according to ICF certifiers.

I could be wrong, but I think the name, itself, confuses coaches. It sounds like the coach literally manages the client and holds them accountable to achieve their goals the way an employer might, but that's not what helps clients progress, and it's really not what ICF certifiers are looking for.

It's time somebody told you the secret of motivation and it has nothing to do with holding your clients accountable...

Here's why: Have you ever caught yourself being stubborn with someone (your friend, sibling, spouse, perhaps) about something you really wanted to do but you were only willing to do it your way or not at all? Or has someone ever told you that you need to change something about yourself, and even if you agreed with them, you didn't do it? Or do you ever ask for advice and then don't follow it?

If yes to any of these, you're normal. People naturally resist doing what others tell them to do and unless that other has something important to hang over their head, like their job, they often won't do it even if they want to.

 

We all get a little negative in these situations and that negativity has power over us that most people underestimate.

 

Here's an example: An SCM graduate just posted a meme on Facebook that said she never shares memes that say, "I bet I won't get even one share," even if she otherwise likes the meme. I don't share them, either. In fact, I did an impromptu poll once on my Facebook feed to see if others shared them. Nobody did. They're annoying.

Subtle levels of negativity, defensiveness, resistance, anxiety, or irritation of any type trigger the fight, flight, or freeze response unconsciously, which in turn delivers a cocktail of stress hormones, like cortisol, which can stay in the blood stream for quite a while and hold the client back from taking action. Essentially, they freeze.

 

So if a coach presumes to manage a client in any way, especially by checking up on them, or requiring the client to check in with the coach, or in any way holding them accountable, there's a good chance that will backfire. Don't do it.

 

What does work? A recent article by researcher, Richard Boyatzis and colleagues, at TrainingIndustry.com, offered five possibilities that have been found to help people change. Boyatzis is well-known for his research and teachings on coaching, emotional intelligence, and leadership. His change theory of positive emotional attractors (PEAs) v negative emotional attractors (NEAs), which roughly translate to positivity v negativity in positive psychology terms, helps explain why some approaches to change don't work while others do.

 

In a nutshell, change is stressful and that releases stress hormones that trigger the fight, flight or freeze response.

 

Something or someone needs to continually bring the client back to positivity so negativity doesn't prevent them from proceeding. That someone is often the coach.

 

Forcing or requiring people to do things increase stress so pushy coaches often fail.

 

Goals, alone, aren't motivating unless they are aligned with what matters most to the client, such as their personal values, vision, mission, calling, dream, passion, or life purpose. Any goals, especially challenging goals, that aren't aligned with the client's bigger picture, are unlikely to provide sufficient positivity to carry the client forward.

 

Growth and Transcendence aren't just a byproduct of great coaching.

 

They are necessary ingredients that help our clients reach their goals. That's why the IAPPC focuses on them instead of accountability. So, we need to help link their goals to what really inspires in order for them to succeed.

 

To learn more about the science of coaching and prepare yourself to become a Certified Positive Psychology Coach®, join the International Association of Positive Psychology Coaches and attend our series on the nine NEW  Positive Psychology Coaching Skills, from Optimum Positivity, to Goals & Achievement, and Growth & Transcendence. These skills are based on research and increase effectiveness of coaching.

 

Membership in IAPPC is affordable. We will be certifying current members for free through 2022.

 

Join the IAPPC Now and Save on Certification

 

Topics: ICF, Certified Positive Psychology Coach, Positive Psychology, Science of Coaching, personal values, IAPPC

We're Building a New Home for Positive Psychology Coaches

Posted by Julia Stewart

IAPPC logo 1 8-18

A small community of positive psychology coaches has recently incorporated as the International Association of Positive Psychology Coaches.

The original community was launched by David McQuarrie, CPPC, and me in 2016. We began meetings by identifying who were are by exploring our shared strengths, values, and needs. It soon became clear that we are an organization of peers who are passionate about learning and mastering the new field of positive psychology coaching and sharing what we learn to help create a better world for all.

At this point, we have over 400 members and haven't even launched our website, yet!

[UPDATE 8-27-19: We officially have over1000 members now and are 4 months ahead of schedule. Thanks so much for your support!]

We're not here to compete with other coaching and positive psychology organizations, but to fill the gaps that other organizations haven't met.

How can you learn more about the new IAPPC and get a limited-time free membership?

  • Attend the exciting upcoming meeting. This is where stuff really happens. Learn what's coming from IAPPC and share your thoughts on what will help you most. You need to be a member to get an invitation.
  • Join IAPPC now and enjoy free benefits for Founding Members. It won't all be free forever, but we intend to delight you so much that continuing membership will be a no-brainer. Join now and get your Founding Member badge.
  • Join us on Facebook here. Discover other members and share exciting news.
  • Invite your friends to join us. The more members, the more benefits we can provide for less cost. We'd love to attract 1,000 members by 2020! Use the social sharing buttons at the top of this post to share with others. Thanks so much!

What's the relationship between SCM and IAPPC?

Previous coaching organizations, such as the ICF and IAC, were launched by the owners of coaching schools. That makes sense because we have mailing lists of coaches, connections and know-how, and infrastructure that can support a fledgling organization until it's ready to fly. SCM has been there for this organization through its infancy and will continue to support it as it matures.

That said, IAPPC is for all positive psychology coaches, regardless where you trained. You can get involved now and you can qualify to apply for IAPPC's upcoming certifications when they are available. Our goal is to launch the International Association of Positive Psychology Coaches as a fully independent not-for-profit professional association with its own certification. Please join us!

 

Join now while it's still free and get your Founding Member badge:

 

Become a Member of IAPPC for Free

Topics: Certified Positive Psychology Coach, Positive Psychology, positive psychology coaching, positive psychology coaches, IAPPC

Dos and Don't for Better Coaching Outcomes

Posted by Julia Stewart

Do's and Don't for Coaching

The Institute of Coaching (IOC) is a great resource for research on coaching and related topics.

Recently the IOC featured a literature review on research into negative side effects of coaching by Carsten C. Schermuly and Carolin Grassmann. It's an important topic that needs attention. The conclusions of the authors was that coaches need to discuss potential negative side effects with their clients, may need supervision (coaching for their coaching) in order to mitigate negative effects while coaching, and that coaching education needs to train coaches in how to prevent negative effects.

I found many of the effects, themselves, to be dismaying examples of what can go wrong if a coach is not thoroughly trained to prevent problems, so this post will address issues from that perspective.

What are negative effects of coaching? They "...are defined as harmful of unwanted results for clients directly caused by coaching..." Negative effects can also impact the coach and these effects were telling.

I suspect many of the negative effects for clients were related to the negative effects for coaches and if the coaches had prepared, trained, and set up the coaching relationships proactively, there would have been far fewer negative effects for either.

Negative effects on coaches and Dos and Don'ts to prevent them:

  1. Unable to observe the long-term influences of coaching - Do set this up at the start of the client engagement by finding out both the goals for the coaching and how the client will measure them. Likewise, set up each coaching session with its own goals and measurements. Don't coach without this level of clarity.

  2. Being personally affected by the topics discussed during coaching - Do work on your own personal development continuously, including hiring your own coach. Learning to maintain appropriate compassion without getting caught by the client's dramas is a critical coaching skill that takes practice, self-care, and better-then-average resilience. Don't continue coaching someone if their issues personally effect you.

  3. Fear that s/he would not be able to fulfill the coach role - Do get the training, hours of practice, certification, and evidence for coaching itself, as well as for your own coaching results, so you can coach with confidence. Confidence is a coaching deliverable. Without it, the coach and client are both disadvantaged.

  4. Dislike of the client or the client’s behaviors - Do interview potential clients in advance. Don't coach anyone you don't like. It's unpleasant and rarely goes well. And although this isn't quite the same as liking a client, believing in your client goes a long way toward helping both of you like, trust, and respect one another, which are the foundations for an effective coaching relationship. It's unethical to coach clients you don't believe in.

  5. Disappointment in the coaching results - The first four negative effects are likely to lead to disappointment in positive coaching results, so don't let them occur. If you don't like the client, aren't confident, don't know how to measure, and tend to get caught in the client's dramas, you're results are likely to be poor-to-mediocre, at best. If you add ineffective communication skills (see below), then emotional exhaustion and feeling underpaid are likely outcomes, as well. Do negotiate coaching engagements that set you and your clients up for success.

  6. Emotional exhaustion, high pressure, over-challenged, or stress - Do keep your client roster small enough that exhaustion isn't a factor. Don't let clients and sponsors pressure you into doing a mediocre job.

  7. Difficulties in being an effective communicator - Do develop advanced communication skills. This is a coaching basic. An effective coach training school will address this and tell you if you have issues to work on. So will a good coach, or coaching supervisor, or coaching certification. Communication is your instrument. Don't coach until you've tuned it to optimum quality.

  8. Feeling underpaid - Do avoid all these pitfalls. Then you can demand and get what you deserve to be paid, because client outcomes will be impressively positive with few negative effects. Don't coach without getting the training you need.

The following negative outcomes for clients were identified by the authors, but could be mitigated by the above Dos and Don'ts: Deeper problems can be triggered but may beyond the scope of coaching. Client's new behaviors led to conflict with current relationships. Client's perspective on their work downshifted to less meaningful or satisfying. Client performance temporarily declined as they mastered new behaviors.

In a nutshell, coaches in these studies may have benefited from more training, or at least more effective training, as well as from coaching on the coach's coaching, otherwise known as supervision, and by more practice, better communication, negotiation, and agreement setting, and by the coaches raising their own standards for their work.

 

Thinking about advanced coach training? Consider the Certified Positive Psychology Coach Program and get certified by the International Association of Positive Psychology Coaches:

Explore the Certified Positive Psychology Coach Program

 

Topics: coach training, Certified Positive Psychology Coach, IAPPC

Content not found

    Subscribe for FREE: Learn About Coaching

    Follow Us

    The Coaching Blog

    If you're a professional Business or Life Coach or you're interested in becoming one, the SCM Coaching Blog covers topics you may want to know about: How to Become a Business or Life Coach, Grow a Successful Coaching Business, Get Coach Training and/or Business and Life Coach Certification, Become a Coaching Master and Evolve Your Life and Business. 

    Subscribe above and/or explore by tag, month or article popularity, below.

    Latest Posts

    Most Popular Posts

    Browse by Tag

    Top Career-Jobs Sites Living-Well blog