Coaching Blog

Last week, I posted an image similar to the one above, with a physician telling a patient to make too many changes in too short a time, on our Facebook Page.

I commented on that post that effective coaches would know why the patient pictured was unlikely to do any of it. A page member asked for details, so here you go.

Virtually everything a coach does during a coaching session is designed to help the client gain awareness and then take action toward a goal the client wants to reach.

Everything. We don't always talk about it that way, but that's what it all boils down to. So if you want to help someone make changes, learn to use the tools below. They are effective in coaching and can be effective in other situations, as well.

A short list of tools coaches use to get clients into action...

1. Acknowledge where they are, right now. In positive psychology coaching, this falls under the banner of Active and Constructive Responding. This strengthens relationships, reduces resistance, and causes people to feel more receptive to ideas and suggestions.
2. Raise the positivity level sufficiently. People are more open, creative, and resourceful when there is sufficient, but not excessive, positivity in the conversation. They tend to feel more confident about trying new things and making changes.
3. Ask instead of tell. Find out more about where the client is, right now, and what they want to change. People are always more likely to act on their ideas than on yours.
4. Focus on assets. No need to ignore problems; just don't make the problems bigger or more important that the client and their  assets. These include the client's strengths, their support system, having enough time and money, etc.
5. Let the client lead. This is big. We sometimes think we know what the client needs to change, but that's less helpful than you might imagine. The client is always the expert when it comes to their own life, so let them take the lead.
6. Create a brand new habitat. The client's old world supports their old way of being. To really change, they need their world to change with them. Create a habitat that evolves them in the direction they want to go.
7. Don't expect action right away. Sometimes a client isn't even close to being ready. According to James Prochaska, people go through "stages of change" and there are three stages before they even get to action. Those stages include Precontemplation, which is probably where the patient above is, when they haven't even been thinking about changing, or they may feel resistant because somebody is pushing them to change (Their doctor? Spouse? Friends?), or they feel discouraged because they've tried to change and weren't successful. Then there's Contemplation, where they're thinking about changes, maybe even researching them, but aren't ready to act, yet. You may hear a lot of "shoulds" at this stage. Finally there's Preparation, when they're making necessary plans to set themselves up for success, such as changing their schedule, notifying other stake holders of the change, learning new techniques, or gathering equipment. Only after all that is someone able to actively change and, even then, they probably can't change everything at once. Getting a client ready to change is part of coaching them to change.

So jumping in with "good" advice, and expecting that to do the trick, could do more harm than good.

If you're curious about coaching or contemplating becoming one, download the free Become a Coach eBook. If you want to learn more, or are ready to take action, consider joining the Certified Competent Coach Course:

If you want to become a coach, your next question is: How?

There are thousands of ways to do it, but getting some coach training will help. Depending on the type of training and the source, it may help a lot.

You could get your training on the cheap via YouTube, Podcasts, MOOCs, and other free coach training. This is usually the path chosen by coaching tourists and coaching tourists don't get coaching clients. If you want to coach as a hobby, that's fine. But if you're like most coaches,you need a well-designed program that gives you the skills, knowledge, and professional experience you need to step into professional coaching quickly and attract plenty of clients.

This leaves you with a choice between joining a professional coach training school or a graduate school that teaches some coaching. A prospective coach asked me about this choice the other day and here's a comparison chart. Some coaches actually choose to do both.

PROFESSIONAL COACH TRAINING SCHOOL	GRADUATE SCHOOL COACHING PROGRAM
Usually costs under $10,000	Usually costs over $10,000
Prepares coaches for professional coaching quickly	Educates students and gives some professional preparation
Usually offers coach certification	Usually offers a degree or certificate
Usually takes a year or so of part-time work	Usually takes a year or so of full-time work.
You can build your business or career while training	You may not have time for a business or career
Should be approved for at least 100 hours by the ICF	Should be approved for at least 100 hours by the ICF

Here are important questions to ask yourself:

• How much money do I want to invest in my career?
• How soon do I want to be coaching professionally?
• What's the school's track record for graduating coaches with successful careers?
• If certification is the preferred credential in coaching, do I still need/want a degree?
• Can I afford to take time off from work to study coaching?
• How much will it cost me to delay my coaching career?
• Is my training program approved by the leading accreditor of coach training schools (ICF) for at least 100 hours?
• Are there any travel expenses I need to consider in order to graduate from this coach training program?
• If I want both professional training and grad school, which will give me what I want right now?

To get more questions answered, download the free Become a Coach eBook.

It offers tips on choosing the best coach training school for you:

 

There is a broad assumption in our society that many, if not most people need to heal, as in restore health or be made whole. And while healing is a phenomenal process that can restore life to millions of people, and for which I am most grateful, I believe we are increasingly moving into a "post-healing society" and I'm not alone.

Post-healing is itself an extraordinary milestone in human evolution, which deserves to be talked about and clarified, so we all know when we are experiencing it and so we can have more of it.

I'm sometimes surprised by people who are unaware of even the possibility of a post-healing society.

So what am I talking about when I say, "post-healing society?" I'm calling it "post-healing", because at the start of something that is this complex and revolutionary, it's helpful to make a distinction between newly emerging conditions and that which went before, gave rise to the new, and is now distinct from it. Over time, I believe a different name will emerge that describes more fully what "post-healing" really is, but for now, let's look at how it is different from healing society.

Post-healing society and healing society currently overlap and will do so for the foreseeable future.

I'm talking largely about psychological healing here, but body, mind, heart, and spirit are so entwined that that distinction may not be altogether important. In fact, appreciating the inherent wholeness and interconnectedness of body, mind, heart, and spirit is a feature of post-healing.

From a psychological perspective, healing society arose and reached its zenith in the second half of the 20th Century when defining mental illnesses, cataloging their symptoms, and finding effective treatments for them became the primary focus of the fields of psychology, psychoanalysis, and psychiatry. As treatments became more effective, the impact on society was seismic. People started to understand their own differences and difficulties, as well as those of others, learned to ask for what they needed, began to experience wellness, spoke up for their rights to be treated equally and with respect, and for many, to a large degree, suffering was diminished.

When there is less suffering, new possibilities emerge.

But by the end of the 20th Century, many professionals seemed to believe there was something psychologically wrong with us all. I heard one psychologist say that everyone had something, either a neurosis, personality disorder, or psychosis; or else they had addictions, brain damage, or other neurological disorders. Another told me that in therapy, neurotic is what you want to be, because everything else is worse.

So what is healthy if everyone is ill, including apparently (since everyone has something), the therapists, themselves?

I wasn't the only one wondering about this, because positive psychology officially emerged in the 1990's as a sub-specialty of psychological research. Positive psychology is specifically concerned with studying people who are doing well, who enjoy well-being and are flourishing, so that others can learn from them and enjoy greater well-being, also.

The pioneers of positive psychology, notably Martin Seligman, went so far as to declare that the goal of positive psychology was to render itself obsolete. In other words, that the larger field of psychology would return to its original intent and cover the entire range of human behavior, rather than just focusing on what was wrong.

Here's a real-world example of post-healing. Seligman was asked by the United States Armed Services to help returning servicemen and women who have developed Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), a debilitating illness that is particularly difficult to heal. After surveying a large number of soldiers, Seligman's team found that a small percentage, who had been exposed to many of the same horrors of war as those who developed PTSD, actually seemed to grow through the experience.

The key to growth rather than illness? It was the story they told themselves about it, in other words, the meaning they attached to the event. If a soldier told him or herself that they were at fault for the deaths of their buddies, or that they should have been able to save a friend, they were more likely to develop PTSD. If on the other hand, they told themselves that they must have been spared for a reason and that now they had an important purpose to serve with their lives, they were more likely to experience what Seligman calls, Post Traumatic Growth.

Now there is training for soldiers that can help them grow through trauma, instead of being damaged by it.

We could call this pre-healing, since it precedes the need for healing. I call it a post-healing intervention, because it comes from a mindset that sees the limitations of healing and, instead of allowing a problem to continue and then waiting to heal people from it, it has found a solution that eliminates the need for healing (An even more advanced post-healing society would eliminate the need for war.)

As an aside, I want to mention that 20th Century psychology has focused, from a scientific and medical standpoint, on many of the same issues that were once thought to belong to the realm of spirit, spirituality, and religion. Afterall, its name is derived from the Greek, "psykhe", meaning soul, spirit, or mind.

Today's "spiritual-but-not-religious" movement focuses on healing almost as much as the psychological field.

But modern spirituality also focuses on the transcendent, trans-personal, upon enlightenment, and other lofty states. Like the field of psychology that is envisioned by Seligman, spirituality focuses on the full range of human behaviors and experiences.

An example of post-healing spirituality is Zen Master, Genpo Roshi's, brilliant integration of voice dialogue therapy with modern Zen, called Big Mind. The goal of Big Mind isn't healing, but Buddhist enlightenment. It begins with the assumption that the student is already whole, complete, and perfect; including the parts s/he would like to eliminate!

An example is what Roshi calls a "disowned voice", a part of us that we judge negatively and may want to eliminate and that can become a problematic shadow. One such voice is what he calls, "The Damage". Most of us who seek out healing would love to eliminate what we consider damaged in ourselves. Some of us go from therapist to therapist, spiritual healer to spiritual healer, for years hoping to finally be healed.

Don't go to Roshi for healing, though. Instead, he completely reframes the role of The Damage. He will tell you that you are already whole, complete, and perfect, including The Damage, which is perfectly damaged. It's perfect, because it has accepted all the slings and arrows of your life, so the rest of you can remain undamaged. No more, no less.

What would you call someone who took a bullet for you? Your hero?

The Damage is a hero who accepts all the damage we would otherwise endure, allowing the rest of our selves to remain whole, complete, and perfect. It deserves to be honored and embraced. Instead, we cause suffering for ourselves by framing it as imperfect, not good enough, broken, or sick. When we go through life believing we need to heal, we sometimes keep old wounds open, we feel less than, we sometimes give away our power to healers, or we may use our condition to be less than fully responsible for ourselves.

Once you embrace that you're whole, complete, and perfect, there are no more excuses.

I'm not suggesting that these two examples of what I call, post-healing, are what everyone needs. Remember, both the healing society and post-healing society will exist side-by-side for quite a while, if not forever. I am suggesting that healing has opened the door to post-healing.

I'll use myself as another example. As someone who grew up in the proverbial dysfunctional family, I worked with a number of therapists over the years, believing there was something wrong with me. They made a big difference. But one of the most dramatic shifts that I made with any therapist was with the last, who at one point said, "Read my lips, you're healthy." Accepting that there was nothing seriously wrong with me was like waking from a dream. Suddenly, so much more was possible. I felt confident and believed in myself.

Of course, I wouldn't have gotten there without the help of some wonderful healers. And that's my point. Therapy got me ready for post-healing. And it got me ready for coaching, too.

Life coaching is, as far as I know, the first and perhaps only profession that is completely post-healing.

Life coaching and its siblings, including business coaching, executive coaching, and more, don't focus on healing clients, but rather assist clients to shift into more resourceful, and some would say, transformative mind-states that help them see solutions to problems and pathways to goals, while inspiring them to take action and create the outcomes that are best for themselves and others.

We see our clients as whole, complete, and perfect. We believe in them from the very start. We help them reframe limiting beliefs, integrate disowned voices, and experience their interconnectedness with others. As a result, they become more confident, believe in themselves, evolve into who they want to be, and create valuable changes for themselves and others. It's both an honor and an interdevelopmental experience to work with people who are discovering their true selves for the very first time.

They step into their greatness and go on to change the world for the better.

Imagine a world where all people not only heal, but reach their full potential and are inspired to transform the world. It's not a dream. Because of the good work done by healers, clients are becoming ready for post-healing and coaches go on to make transformative possibilities real everyday.

Would you like to join the post-healing society?

Find a coach here. Or become a coach. Your first step toward professional coaching might be to download the  FREE Become a Coach eBook.

Are you a highly sensitive person? Have you wondered if you should become a coach? If so, then here are some things to consider...

According to Elaine N. Aron, who wrote the book, The Highly Sensitive Person, traits might include:

• Being easily overwhelmed by loud noises, bright lights, etc.
• Being attracted to subtle flavors, sounds, sights, and more.
• Needing to protect your energy from angry people, violence, coarse language.
• Preferring solitude, quiet, natural settings, comfort.
• Being introverted or shy.
• Being overwhelmed or stressed by too much busy-ness, pressure, or complexity.
• Being self-reflective with a rich inner world.

Looking beyond Aron's writing, multiple qualities or states might correlate with being highly sensitive, such as:

• High intelligence.
• A high level of empathy.
• Highly creative.
• Highly intuitive.
• ADHD.
• Depression or anxiety.
• A tendency to develop chronic illnesses, such as auto-immune disorders, and allergies.

According to the journal, Intelligence, highly intelligent people take in more information, which enables them to do well in life, but may also lead to more physical and mental disorders. In other words, it's a gift as well as a curse, which may allow you to notice far more, but may also lead to mood disorders or chronic health problems.

If this is you, even if you don't possess all the above features, this probably feels familiar.

So should you, as a highly sensitive person, become a coach? In the past, highly sensitive people sometimes joined cloistered religious orders, or became hermits, to avoid the onslaughts of life. Or they might have buried themselves in rewarding work, or became artists, or psychotherapists.

In today's world, coaching is an ideal profession for the highly sensitive person. Intelligence, empathy, and intuition are vital tools for the coach. Treating clients with respect and sensitivity is necessary to developing trust. Being curious and simply noticing more are wonderful tools for coaching. Working from home allows highly sensitive and introverted coaches to shelter themselves from unnecessary intrusion, while still being able to use our sensitive gifts to help others.

Plus, coaching is one of the few professions that requires you to take great care of yourself, because you can't be a great coach when your own needs aren't well met.

So if you are a highly sensitive person, you may want to think seriously about becoming a coach. It could be perfect for you. To find out more, download the free Become a Coach eBook, below. It will help you understand the opportunities and challenges of becoming a coach. School of Coaching Mastery can help you become a coach with this course.

 

 

If you're thinking about becoming a business, executive, or life coach, then you natually have some questions, such as:

• Do I need coach training?
• Should I get coach certification?
• What's the best life coach certification?
• Can I get life coach certification online?

Here are some useful statisitics gathered from 2,572 coaches who visited our coach training website and participated in an online survey.

• 86.26% say coaching is their career.
• 43.89% are life or business coaches. 56.11% are divided between other types of coaching.
• 92.36% want to work for themselves.
• 75.94% want to be the best they can be, 17.71% just want to be good enough, and 6.35% don't care.
• 79.95% say becoming a certified coach would help them feel more confident.
• 75.42% say that confidence would help them sign on more clients.
• 72.49% say they want to be certified coaches.

If you're like most coaches, you want to make coaching your career; you want to work for yourself; you want to be the best you can be; you'll feel more confident when you are certified; that will help you attract more clients; and last, you want to be a certified coach.

The good news is yes, you can get coach certification online. The best coach certifications are approved by the ICF, and the best way to get certified is to get coach training.

Get life coach certification online in just 8 weeks. Join the ICF Approved Certified Competent Coach Course:

 

Watch this fascinating TED Talk called, "Want to get great at something? Get a coach".

How one physician became much better at what he does and how his research proved that coaching improves outcomes. By Atul Gawande, this is moving, inspiring, and informative:

 

Want to get great at something? Find a Coach Here.

Want to become a coach? Get the FREE Become a Coach eBook or join our upcoming course for beginners.

At School of Coaching Mastery, we get tons of inquiries from people interested in becoming coaches. Quite a few of those inquiries come from psychotherapists. Questions from psychotherapists about coach training fall into two types.

The first type of question, from psychotherapists who are interested in coach training, are from therapists who assume that coaching and therapy techniques are the same and therefore their degrees and years of practicing therapy should exempt them from coach training, or that they should take the shortest and cheapest route to coach certification. Those coaches often mention that coaching is unregulated and that they already coach their therapy clients with skills such as, training, education, and support. Usually, they're looking for confirmation that they can just call themselves coaches, or they're looking for a fast, easy, and inexpensive course for therapists.

This group of therapists are sometimes surprised to discover that "not regulated" does not equal "anything goes" in professional coaching. Coaching is well-researched; we know what techniques work best (often not those used in therapy), we have codes of ethics and well-defined standards of certification. The reason we're still unregulated is because we don't target vulnerable populations or people in crisis. Never-the-less, we may become regulated eventually, and certification from professional organizations, such as the IAPPC, will likely be beneficial for professional coaches.

This group is also sometimes surprised to discover that they don't actually understand what coaching is, what it is for, or how to do it. Coaching is not practicing therapy without a license, nor is it therapy without a diagnosis. It is neither training, nor education. It is not advice giving nor consulting. It is not a way to practice something you're not licensed for, just because you call yourself a coach. I'm reminded of the woman who told me she called herself a coach, but was actually practicing conversion therapy (an attempt to convert a gay person to straight), which she couldn't get licensed to do, because being gay isn't an illness and therefore no one can be "cured" of it. I told her what she was doing violates coaching ethics.

The second set of questions come from therapists and counselors who also have advanced degrees in psychology or psychotherapy, including holders of doctorate degrees and professionals who have been practicing for years. This group is usually well-informed, has high standards, and is genuinely excited about becoming coaches. A sizable percentage of these coaches join our Certified Positive Psychology Coach Program, because they love the focus of coaching, which is on flourishing rather than on healing, and because they're excited about the new direction positive psychology is taking, away from pathology and towards well-being. This latter group fits in perfectly at School of Coaching Mastery and we encourage them to join.

We have an application to join the Certified Positive Psychology Coach Program, which helps us identify people who are a good fit for this program and weed out folks who aren't likely to succeed as coaches. You don't have to have a professional degree in psychology to be accepted into the program, but if you do need to be curious about coaching excited about becoming the best coach you can be, so you can offer maximum benefits to your coaching clients.

If you're a psychotherapist, or anyone, who thinks you may want to become a coach, ask yourself why. If it's mainly because coaching is trendy and well-paid, but you have no deep passion for it, no amount of money or time spent on coach training will be worthwhile for you. However, if you love the idea of helping people reach their full potential and attain exciting goals or dreams, this may be the profession for you. Apply to the program to find out.

Interested in becoming a positive psychology coach? Get the free Become a Positive Psychology Coach eBook here: