Coaching Blog

Dear Coach: What if the Law of Attraction DOESN'T Work?

Posted by Julia Stewart

Law of AttractionI don't want to ruffle your feathers, but if you teach the Law of Attraction, don't you ever doubt whether it really works?

I'm not against the Law of Attraction. It's a great way to draw people's attention to the subtle ways that events seem to line for us when we are sure of what we want. Most importantly, it offers a good excuse for practicing faith.

For example: Recently a relative of mine told me she had a job offer that she really wanted to take, but it was a 9-month teaching position that paid about 1/4 less than her current job. I said, "If you really want it, there's probably a way that you can do it. So the question to ask is not, 'Should I do it?', but 'How could I do it?'". She knew there were lots of part-time temporary positions for her skill set, so she took the job on faith and within a month, her new employer offered her a summer teaching position that made up the lost pay. You could say she attracted the outcome she wanted. You could also say she realistically assessed the situation. Both explanations accurately describe her outcome.

My problem with the Law of Attraction is that tends to confuse people. And no matter how you explain it, confusion stops people from getting what they want. Most people who grew up in the 20th Century (I bet that includes you) were taught that hard work, strategy, education, research, expert advice and goal setting would help them get what they want. Then they hear that the Law of Attraction says all they have to do is think about what they want and they will get it. Does that mean they can throw out hard work, strategy, education, research, expert advice and goal setting? No. All those things include thinking about what it is you want, so keep doing them if they work for you.

Another example: Several months ago, I was musing that perhaps it was time to find a new coach. I'm fortunate to have some of the best coaches in the world as friends who will coach me, as needed, so quality of coaching wasn't an issue, but I fantasized that perhaps it was time for someone who was a spiritual teacher, whose training was different from mine (so they could surprise me now and then) and maybe someone who owns a coaching school, so they could relate to some of the challenges I'm working with; all of that would be nice. A week or two later, Lama Tantrapa called me up out of the blue and suggested we start coaching each other. When stuff like that happens, I've learned to just say, "Yes."

Sometimes things seem to happen like magic, but that doesn't mean that all we ever have to do is set our intentions. As Lama says, "The road to hell is paved with intentions." It turns out he found me via LinkedIn. Was it the Law of Attraction or a good social media strategy that brought him to me? Yes.

I belong to the local Science of Mind church. It's pretty much ground zero for the Law of Attraction. But even they say that LOA doesn't work for everybody. Children who grow up in the church seem to create more of what they want just by thinking about it, perhaps because they don't have competing beliefs that confuse them.

Third example: The other day, I ran into the pastor of my church at the Post Office. She told me how she broke her toe by slipping in the bathroom. She said she had broken another toe on the same foot so many time that it was crooked and she had been considering having it broken by a doctor to straighten it back out. In other words, she had been thinking about breaking a toe and she then broke one. Be careful what you think about! Was it LOA or a freak accident? Whatever story you tell about it, she still has a broken toe.

It's hard to prove causation. Scientists tend to point to correlations and avoid making up stories about causation. When we observe events like thinking about something and then experience what we thought about, we're observing correlation. But humans are story-making machines and we love stories about causation. Correlation feels  confusing.

Choose the stories that work for you. And let coaching clients do the same. Confusing them with the Law of Attraction may stop them from getting what they want, even if it works for you.

I'm here to say that the Law of Attraction is nothing but faith. 

Or maybe it's just correlated with faith. But faith is huge. And at the opposite end of the scale is doubt. All healthy humans have both.

Imagine faith and doubt connected by a line. Faith pulls us forward and doubt pulls us back. However, there is often hidden wisdom underneath doubt, so explore it, rather than try to eliminate it.

Confusion on the other hand, erases the line. Doubt carries wisdom and connects to faith. Confusion is full of missed connections and blurred vision, kind of like the words in the image, above.

Whether you have faith in science, Jesus Christ, hard work, the Law of Attraction or all of the above, that faith will help to pull you forward. Uncover what's behind your doubts and erase your confusion if you can (by creating clarity) and you'll be pulled forward with less effort. It's not a guarantee of outcome, but rather something that correlates with success. 

"No one should spend their time trying to think positive thoughts. We've all got better things to do." - Thomas Leonard  

Some of the most successful and honest thought leaders out there, like Bill Harris, who appeared in The Secret, and Thomas Leonard, who 'founded' the coaching profession, don't ascribe to the Law of Attraction. Thomas actually developed a very different approach to attracting what you want called, The Principles of Attraction. Coaching is about getting what you want and there are many ways to do it. 

Here's a secret: In my experience the Principles of Attraction, combined with the Law of Attraction is even more attractive. Consider trying both together.

What are your thoughts on Attraction? Feel free to share them in the comments section, below.

Want to learn about the Principles of Attraction for free?

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Topics: Coaching, coach, Thomas Leonard, Law of Attraction, Attraction Principles, clarifying, clients, LinkedIn, IAC

Coaching Blogs: Why You Need to Be Both Reading and Writing Them

Posted by Julia Stewart

Coaching BlogThe internet is a wonderful tool for helping coaches and clients connect.

And although professional coaches spend part of every work day online, most aren't using the net efficiently.

Gone are the days when having an online brochure (a.k.a. website) was enough. The internet is built for interconnectivity and if you're using it for one-way communication only, you're misusing it. 

Internet = Interactive = interconnectivity = Intercommunication

Having a coaching blog can increase your online attractiveness exponentially, but most coaches blunder into the blogosphere with no plan or strategy and frequently, no clue! If you're a coach who has a blog, but isn't sure how it can attract clients to you, here is a major step that you may have missed:

Success in  the blogosphere begins with other people's blogs, not your own. 

broadcast advertisingIf you were born before the year 2000, then you grew up in an age where business success was built on advertising and promotion that was one-way. To get the word out, you broadcast your message by interrupting people who were pretty much your captive audience. Think: TV commercials and subway ads. 

Rarely is that the case, anymore. Today, people record TV and fast forward through the ads and they read blog posts on their iPhones, while taking mass transit.

If you're still trying to broadcast your message, nobody is listening.

Maybe it's just me, but I think business and life coaches break this rule almost more than anyone else on the net. Are you one of those coaches? If you are using your blog or Twitter or Facebook or Mastery Coach Exchange as a broadcast-only tool, you're missing both the point and the value.

Every good blogging strategy starts with reading a lot of blogs and subscribing to the ones that really speak to you. This not only keeps you well informed, it gives you a change to absorb what really works in blogging.

You may want to comment on some posts. This is your first step toward "intercommunication".

Once you're a bono fide member of the blogosphere, you're ready to start blogging and attracting, yourself. We teach this topic in far more depth in the new Coach 100 Business Success Program at SCM, but if you're not ready to jump right into coaching success, then at least take a baby step toward it by subscribing to this blog.

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Topics: blogs, blogging, blogosphere, coaching blog, Facebook, twitter, Attraction Principles, clients, internet

Coaching Clients: Attraction

Posted by Julia Stewart

The following was written by Thomas Leonard:

Thomas Leonard I shudder whenever I hear a coach talk about 'prospecting' for clients or when they refer to a potential client as a hot 'prospect.' Doesn't that turn the person into an object? Not pretty. I think a better approach is to view everyone you meet as an amazing person who doesn't need you, yet to whom you can give a gift. Is the gift an Attraction principle? No. An offer for free coaching? No. A business card? No. A patient ear? No. Rather, the gift to give a person is themselves. If you can point out something about them that they've forgotten or never knew, you've created a gap that they can grow into. Now, I'm not talking about complimenting or acknowledging a person, because that's usually manipulative. Instead, I'm talking about becoming the type of person who -- AS A MATTER OF COURSE -- points out something positive about the person. In other words, become that type of person, instead of using this as a marketing or emotionally-hooking technique. See the difference? Here's an example of what I'm talking about. Instead of saying, "I like the way you talk," you'd say something like "You have a compelling way of speaking." Instead of saying, "You're obviously very successful," you'd say something like, "You handle your success very graciously." Instead of saying, "I'm sorry to hear that your business isn't doing well right now," you'd say something like "I can only imagine the amount of stress you're under right now." In other words, get what the person is feeling and empathize with them in this 'advanced' way. Or pick up something unique or special about the person and point that out. So, you're stating the obvious without puffery, yet it's a different thing than the person has probably ever heard before. THAT'S what gets their attention and THAT'S what will attract them as a client. AND, if you do this with EVERYONE because it's the type of person you are, you WILL get more clients. And how do you become this type of person without it being an act or performance? --You'll naturally become this type of person as you integrate the Attraction Principles. You will become generous because you can afford to be. -- Thomas J. Leonard


Topics: Coaching, coaching clients, Thomas Leonard, Attraction Principles

Gratitude: Don't Miss It

Posted by Julia Stewart

gifts and gratitudeGratitude starts the wheel turning.

It’s about you.

Come from gratitude and you’ll be instantly happier.

Come from gratitude and you’ll attract more of what you want.

When you struggle to feel grateful, spend time with people who are grateful.

Gratitude is contagious.

Gratitude is not something you feel because things are the way you want; it’s just something you feel.

You can only feel gratitude in the present moment.

If you wait until you get what you want to feel grateful, you have already missed your opportunity.

You will always want things you don’t have. Don’t let “wanting” steal your gratitude from you.

Gratitude is the first step, not the last.

Let your present and future self always be grateful and you will attract everything you really want.

We list the things we are grateful for, not because we need things in order to be grateful, but because we can use those things to trigger our gratitude.

Enjoy feeling grateful while noticing the things you still want and your life will always be rich and joyful. 

Just keep turning the wheel.

Copyright, Julia Stewart, 2008

Topics: gratitude, Attraction Principles, Julia Stewart, grateful

Featured in Blogwild!

Posted by Julia Stewart

Hey! I got this little graphic from Andy Wibbels, today. Cool. He used my blog testimony in his newly released Blogging Bible, BLOGWILD! Basically, I talked about how this blog attracts new coaching clients to my business. (Very cool. Check it out on page 138.) Nice to attract business by doing something I like anyway. Yet another example of the old Attraction Principle, "Add value just for the joy of it." Something very attractive about that. That's also partly why Andy's work is so attractive (and successful): He gives cool stuff away. (And he happens to be very, very good at what he does!)

He's a great example of "Giving is the new marketing." The web makes it possible. Consciousness makes it inevitable. (More on "The Power of Giving" in April 18th's Confab with special guest, Kathryn Gotshall English. If you still haven't joined, go

Copyright, Julia Stewart, 2006

Topics: Attraction Principles, IAC

Koans to Live By If You're Thomas Leonard

Posted by Julia Stewart

Thomas LeonardThe Zen of Attraction

by Thomas J. Leonard

I developed these 14 koans to help me get more space so that I could better apply the 28 Attraction Principles and Practices of the Attraction Operating System. Note: You can take these literally, figuratively or as a place to come from in your dealings. They are simply what works for me.

1. Promise nothing.
Just do what you most enjoy doing.

2. Sign nothing.
Just do what doesn't require a signature of any kind.

3. Offer nothing.
Just share what you have with those who express an interest.

4. Expect nothing.
Just enjoy what you already have; it's plenty.

5. Need nothing.
Just build up your reserves and your needs will disappear.

6. Create nothing.
Just respond well to what comes to you.
7. Seduce no one.
Just enjoy them.

8. Adrenalize nothing.
Just add value and get excited about that.

9. Hype nothing.
Just let quality sell by itself.

10. Fix nothing.
Just heal yourself.

11. Plan nothing.
Just take the path of least resistance.

12. Learn nothing.
Just let your body absorb it all on your behalf.

13. Become no one.
Just be more of yourself.

14. Change nothing.
Just tell the truth and things will change by themselves.

Copyright 1997 by Thomas J. Leonard. All rights reserved.

(Used with permission) 

Topics: Thomas Leonard, Attraction Principles, Zen of Attraction

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