Coaching Blog

If You Had Only 4 Years to Save the World, How Would You Coach Differently?

Posted by Julia Stewart

If you had only 4 years to save the world, how would you coach differently?

I’ve been asking myself this lately. Why? Well, apparently some very smart people think we really DO only have four years. So I’m passing this question on to coaches with a sense of urgency.

If the window of opportunity to save the world from disaster is only 4 years, what does that mean for coaches? What would you do differently? What ARE you doing differently?

Okay, you’ve probably read, heard or watched movies about 2012 predictions. Some come from ancient wisdom traditions. But did you know that leading scientists agree that we have reached the tipping point with the environment and that we must take drastic action now? And that mass starvation, drought, killer hurricanes and tornadoes, massive wild fires and “500 year floods” are just the early warning signs.

Trust me, I’m not going into a panic over this, but I’m also not foolish enough to pretend it isn’t calling to me. But exactly HOW are coaches being called? What unique gifts do we have to offer? What will it take to mobilize us?

I’m asking, because these questions impact the choices that I make for School of Coaching Mastery.

As you probably know, I believe coaching has emerged at this time for good reason. That we’ve here to help facilitate a transformation among humans. Did the time line just get a whole lot shorter?

If so, then how can SCM turn out coaches who are ready to have the necessary transformative conversations with people who need to change – and do it a LOT more quickly?

Your thoughts, please: As a talented coach and a responsible human being, what and how would you change what you do as a coach, if you had only 4 years to help save the world? What and how would you change if you were a coaching school?

Please post your comments below.

Coaching vs. Therapy: The Ick Factor

Posted by Julia Stewart

Life coaching vs therapyThe "coaching vs. therapy" issue has been debated by coaches and therapists for years.

It came up for me in two completely different episodes, recently. One was in a coaching session that I observed where a coach/therapist brilliantly used a therapy technique and got the response they were after, but elicited considerable resistance from the client, in the process.* It took me by surprise, because it clearly wasn't part of the coaching "rule book" and it became a catalyst for some reflection, on my part, about what actually defines a boundary between coaching and therapy, because as you know, they are very different professional services that do overlap in a number of areas.

The other situation was with a coach/therapist who I had reason to talk to for a few minutes, who was clearly not happy that I hadn't done more of something that they thought I should be doing.* It was a really icky conversation that reminded me of how there are times when neither coaching nor therapy is appropriate.

Why therapy and counseling don't work with coaching clients: This is simple. High-functioning people hate being put in too small a box and in most cases therapy or counseling feels way too small to them. The exception to this is when someone gives permission to a therapist to counsel them. Permission is everything in relationships. Coaching clients do not give permission for therapy. Period.

People with therapy or counseling backgrounds often assume that coaching will come easy to them, because of the communication skills or techniques that they have already mastered. In some cases this is true. In many more, it is actually a hindrance, because the style of communicating that may have served them well within counseling situations, irritates coaching clients. I remember observing a coach who had previously been a child counselor.* Their clients, who normally were quite open to coaching, kept shutting down. It was because they were using their "child counselor" voice, which was offensive to their high-functioning adult coaching clients!

Subtleties make all the difference.

Even when the communication style is completely appropriate, therapy techniques will feel manipulative to a coaching client, because in therapy there tends to be a bit of a "one up, one down" relationship, where the client has agreed that there is something wrong that they need the therapist's help with. In coaching, the relationship is always between equals and the client doesn't need to be fixed. Get tricky with a coaching client and, even if you succeed in the short run, you'll pay for it down the line with a less open and less trusting client. 

That brings me to my icky conversation. The person I talked with tends to communicate with me from a coaching/counseling approach, even in emails. This is alwaysinappropriate, unless the person you're communicating with gives permission. It is presumptive and rude. Virtually always, when a coach thinks someone needs their help, their ego is getting in the way. The other person will sense this and shut down.

It's like that old saying about why one should never try to teach a pig to sing. It doesn't work and it irritates the pig.

In this case, calling the coach on what she was doing didn't help. To make matters worse, she seemed to be using her "therapist voice". Yucko. When the conversation was over, I remember thinking, "God I hope I never run into her again!"

I was one irritated little piggy.

After later reflection, I realized that while there were many reasons I chose the path I took, which this person clearly wasn't satisfied with, there was another, more subtle reason: I had gradually shut down over a period of months, because of their meddlesome, coach-y, I-know-what-you-should-be-doing-better-then-you-do style of communication. By the time we came face to face, it was already over.

Why coaching people without their permission doesn't work: High-functioning people hate being "helped" unless they've given permission. It implies they're incompetent. Don't try to coach them and definitely don't try to counsel them, unless they've told you they want it.

The Ick Factor will get you. Clients will shut down. Friends and acquaintances will avoid you. People will do less of what you want, instead of more. (They might even blog about it! ;-)

*I purposely made these stories vague, because the details aren't important, but the ramifications are.

 

Copyright, Julia Stewart, 2008

Topics: coaching clients, coaching vs. therapy, psychotherapy, Life Coaching, communication

Coaches Have Ultra True Fans

Posted by Julia Stewart

Kevin Kelly's blog, The Technium, gets referenced a fair amount on the blogosphere and for good reason, he's quite insightful. Today,Seth Godin directed me to Kevin's latest, True Fans, about how a good solid living can be made with just about 1,000 people who really believe in your work. Now Kevin is writing about how artists make it, but what he says is rather familiar.

Most coaches thrive and prosper with perhaps an even smaller number of fans. I'd call them Ultra True Fans. This is because an Ultra True Fan will pay a coach hundreds of dollars per month to work one-on-one or in a small group. And it's not unusual for Ultra True Fans to return to the same coach again and again and to buy many of the coach's products, as well.

The "big mailing list" myth can be a real waste of time for a coach. Do outstanding work and cultivate great relationships with your all your fans, especially your Ultra True Fans, and worry about becoming a mega star only if it really lights you up.

Copyright, Julia Stewart, 2008

Topics: Coaching, Coaches, Seth Godin, Kevin Kelly, True Fans

Coaches: Are You Registered for A New Earth With Oprah?

Posted by Julia Stewart

I bet you’re already registered – along with over a million people worldwide – for the online course for Eckhart Tolle’s A New Earth with Oprah. This is Tolle’s greatest work, so far. Do you have any idea how fantastic it is that millions of people are reading it, as a result of it being featured by Oprah’s Book Club? This is an incredible moment in the history of global consciousness.

And – I bet I don’t have to tell you this – A New Earth is now a must read for coaches. New clients will be coming to you because of this phenomenon. You need to stay ahead. If you want to join the course, read below:

Oprah's Live Web Event
Get ready to be awakened! Oprah and best-selling author Eckhart Tolle will teach an exclusive online class about his book A New Earth. Join us every Monday night for 10 weeks starting March 3 at 9/8c. 

MORE ON OPRAH.COM

Here’s my personal experience with this book, which I sent to Oprah:

 

I was on a business trip to New York City in early 2006, when the thought occurred to me that I'd like to have a book to read on the many train trips I was taking around town.

 

I walked into a Barnes & Noble and saw Eckhart Tolle's new book, A New Earth. No brainer! I'd already read The Power of Now and Stillness Speaks while training to be a coach. I snapped up the new book and started reading it every night before I went to bed! (Even after I finished it, I continued to read passages before I went to sleep each night.)

 

Fantastic! This is the most lucid description of the Self vs. the ego ever written. I started sharing what I was reading with other coaches, immediately.

 

This is a concept that coaches use with their clients, so it's a gift to have someone articulate it in a way that we can share with others. It's probably the greatest thing that we do: When a client is stuck, we help shift them to their higher Self and they immediately know how to solve their own problems. Frequently, they realize that they don't even have problems any more!

 

I was a choreographer before I was a coach and one of the coolest things I got from A New Earth is what it is that makes artists so special. I was always taught that it was talent. Talent is just a little piece of it. It's really the expression of the higher self.

 

That's what inspires people to pay hundreds of dollars to attend a rock concert, it's what draws tens of thousands of people to Barack Obama's rallies and it's what makes Oprah the mega-star that she is.

 

People want to be near greatness, because it brings out their own!

 

I started a coaching school last year and all of Eckhart Tolle's books are on the reading list.

 

Many grateful thanks to Eckhart for writing his illumined works and to Oprah for spreading consciousness in the world as no one else can!

Topics: Coaches, ego, OPRAH, New York City, Eckhart Tolle

Should Coaching Be Free?

Posted by Julia Stewart

Notice how certain memes seem to be on everyone's mind at the same time? Makes you wonder. I read the Wired article on Chris Anderson's book FREE! last night and in my inbox this morning was TrendWatch's Free Love article. None of the ideas in either article were really new to me, but they did spark several new inspirations, so that's pretty cool.

Learned a couple of new words: Freevertising and Freeconomics (not the book, the phenomenon)

Basic idea: Business is quickly moving toward $0.00 for everything. Great news for consumers, eh? So how do you make any money?

Answer: Get real creative. A lot of people who read this blog have already experienced the excitement, love and loyalty this type of business model creates, because they were members in an early FREE business venture, one that was a featured Purple Cow, back in the early 2000's. Remember Thomas Leonard's "free web-based coach training?" About 30,000 people signed up in two years and Thomas made 2 million dollars. Whoa. How does that work?? It was brilliant.

If you read the aforementioned articles, you'll find that most money is being made via advertising. Think: Google. That's not how Thomas did it, exactly.

However, the concept is the same. In today's market, you don't prosper just by getting people's money. The competition is too stiff. It takes more: Prosper by getting people's attention and by creating value for them. A lot of it. Today everyone seems to do that by making stuff free.

Chris Anderson makes the point that there is a huge psychological difference between cheap and free. Especially now that stuff from China, service from India and virtually anything on the web is so cheap you can hardly believe it. 

If you want to make a statement, make it FREE.

This does beg the question: How can you possibly stand out if everything is free? (Much less make any money?) That's where your creativity comes in.

You might be relieved to know that I actually don't think coaching should be free. Not most of the time, anyway. But "free" is a valuable tool, so don't throw it away.

The Trendwatch article pointed me toward Kevin Kelly's Technium Blog
about the stuff that shouldn't be free. That's where the money is. He had a list of 8 things and added a 9th: Trust. These are what people pay MORE for.

Here's the list:

1. Immediacy

2. Personalization

3. Interpretation

4. Authenticity

5. Accessibility

6. Embodiment

7. Patronage

8. Findability

How many of these features does your coaching have? How can you tweak it so it has all of them? That's right. You can charge MORE for all that.

Now how can you make stuff free for the sheer joy of it ~ and create raving fans for your business? 

You see? You really are brilliant!


Copyright, Julia Stewart, 2008
All rights reserved.

Topics: Free, Kevin Kelly, Chris Anderson

If Your Coaching Business is a Little Slow, Follow Seth Godin's Advice

Posted by Julia Stewart

I'm a subscriber to Seth Godin's Blog, because he's a great writer and really "gets" the whole "marketing with integrity" thing that is the only way to become a successful coach. I wish I had written the following post that he wrote for real estate agents. Only I would have written it for coaches during the last recession, when a lot of them needed to hear it. 

Since you're part of "group B", you might want to follow the advice he gives for real estate agents who are in it for the long haul. Just remember that you'll need to do a little creative customization to make it work for you.

But then, you're a coach, which means you're creative and you know how to serve people, right?


No brainer for you then!

Read Seth's post here and then subscribe.

Topics: Coaching, Seth Godin

Should You Become a Coach In an Economic Downturn?

Posted by Julia Stewart

Future of Coaching Butterfly by Codice Tuna Colectivo de Arte cropped
 
Is it or isn't it? A recession, I mean? How many thousands of hours of airtime have "pundits" used up analyzing our economy and still we don't know if it's the Big R or not?

All that professional fretting can sure make a new business person nervous! And those of us who've been at it for a while are concerned, too. On the other hand, any time there is a shake up of any sort, new opportunities pop up. The fun of being in business is watching the landscape change and noticing the next big windows of opportunity before everyone else does.

A freaky economy brings plenty of opportunity. So call me perverse, but I'm having fun ;-)

It's a little bit different for a friend of mine, who owns an upscale home-building and design company. His business has definitely been impacted by the real estate/mortgage/credit crisis, although, as any high-quality company can, his is doing nicely compared to his lower-quality competitors.

By comparison, my business seems hardly to have noticed that people apparently are no longer spending like there's no tomorrow. Why? It's international. The weak US Dollar actually makes my services and products a bit of a bargain for my clients in say, the UK. They're paying half what they might have paid a few years ago. (Yay for them!)

In the past year, the percentage of non-US clients and customers in my business (coaching clients, live event participants and buyers of products) has at least doubled. They are filling in spaces that would have been taken by Americans, so it's a wash.

Well that's nice, but what does it mean to you if you're new to coaching? Here's my advice, based on what I observed during the last recession:

Between 2001-2003 there was a well documented recession and the number of coaches seemed to double. Why? Thomas Leonard's "low cost" coach training drove some of it, but a big reason was that thousands of people got laid off from their jobs and interpreted that as a sign that it was time for them to quit the corporate grind and become a coach. They got sold on the myth that anybody can be a professional coach. By 2005, there was quite a bit of pain and misery amongst these coaches and a lot of them dropped out.

The reasons why they quit are diverse, but a lot of them ran out of money before they built up their coaching businesses to a sustainable level. Some of them just weren't cut out to be entrepreneurs and never really "got" the mind set needed to run a small professional service business. And some of them weren't cut out for coaching; it wasn't nearly as easy as they expected.

I suspect that some of the coach-training companies preyed on all those out-of-work hopefuls and painted an overly rosy picture of their prospects, but I really don't know that for a fact.

I'm lucky I wasn't one of those miserable coaches, because I started my training in 2001. Why did I make it when others didn't? One very big reason is that I got in just ahead of the big surge. That meant I had mastered the coaching skills I needed to get and keep paying clients before the number of new coaches pouring into the market doubled. All those late comers had to struggle to get their coaching skills, personal development, sales & marketing (might as well call it S&M, if you don't know how to do it), and business & finance skills up to a level where they could compete at a time when there were way more coaches, but NOT way more clients. Ouch!

The lesson there is that if you're thinking of becoming a coach and you suspect there is going to be a recession, then get into it before mass layoffs send thousands more into the coaching business. In fact, it's smart to get your training while you still have a job that will pay the bills. Coaching is a big learning curve. You can't learn quickly if your worried about money most of the time. And desperate coaches scare away potential clients. (Double ouch.)

One more thing, you remember my friend with the high-quality construction company that's doing okay even though the construction business is terrible? When only a few sales are still being made, it's Quality that still sells.

What does that mean to you? 

1. If you're going to be a coach, be the coach with the best skills, who offers the most service. Then you needn't worry about the hoards of new coaches who may or may not flood the industry in coming months. You'll be the coach that clients from around the world will seek out and happily pay. Quality sells itself.

2. Be sure you have a source of additional income for the first few years, just in case you need it. It's much easier to sign on new clients when you don't need the money. (In other words, don't wait 'til you get laid off to get training and start your business.)

3. Find out if you really want to be a coach. If coaching is for you, then you'll be glad you learned everything you could about it, whether you become a successful coach-preneur or you use it in another profession. (Currently, there are at least twice as many coaches who call themselves managers, business owners, teachers, etc., as there are professional coaches.) Coaching skills enhance every profession (and offer job security). Introduction to Positive Psychology Coaching was designed for people like you.

4. Don't be the tail of the dog. It's a lot easier to succeed if you get in before everyone and his cousin joins up. If you're thinking about getting coach training, now is the time to do it. (School of Coaching Mastery isn't for everyone, but we'll be happy to help you find out if it's right for you.)

5. Don't quit. If you do these first 4 Rules on Getting Into Coaching When the Economy is Funky, you odds of succeeding are extremely high. And if you love it, you'll have the time of your life!

Copyright, Julia Stewart, 2008
 
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Topics: School of Coaching Mastery, become a coach, economy, want to be a coach, positive psychology coaches

What Does Masterful Coaching Look Like on TV?

Posted by Julia Stewart


I heard from a number of coaches after they viewed thePenn & Teller Life Coaching videos below, who reported feeling mildly traumatized ("skeeved" is probably a better word) by how crummy the featured coaches appeared.

I think after all the "How Not to Coach" videos that I've run in the Mastery Coach Exchange, it's time I showed you one that displays true masterful coaching and how it changes lives, both in an instant and for all time.

Here's the perfect video to show that. It's a recent segment of the KHOU Great Day Houston show featuring virtuoso professional coach, Mattison Grey, IAC-CC (member of SCM's Board of Advisors). We briefly meet a couple of Mattison's clients, including the one who ditched her successful IT exec job to do what she really wants: own and run a gorgeous resort in Bali.

Then we watch a mini-session (4 minutes!) where Mattison coaches a member of the audience and helps her find what she really wants to do with the rest of her life. Mattison nails it with lightening speed. See if you can catch what she does (If you're a member of SCM, I bet you notice it). It goes by so fast, you may have to watch twice. There are instructions at the end of the video on how to get a work sheet that will help you find what you really want, too.

Also notice people's reactions when Mattison says "pros & cons" don't work and later points out that high performers are really good at getting what they don't want ~ Do you think she's speaking the truth for anyone?

Not too long ago, I had a conversation with Mattison in which we both agreed (half joking) that all those untrained, uncertified coaches out there who think they're so great ought to have to prove it by becoming IAC Certified! (Oops! There, I said it in public!) That may never happen, but it would sure prevent any more Penn & Tellers.

And ~ I have a request. If you like the way this video displays coaching; if you think it casts a favorable light on the coaching industry; please email Mattison here and beg her to have one of her tech people post this video on YouTube for the whole world to see. Mattison tends to ignore me when I suggest ways to leverage technology for more fame, but I bet if enough of you asked her to: Please, do coaches, coaching, and the whole world a big favor and show them what great coaching really looks like, then we'd all feel much better about those silly videos that show bad coaching - and Mattison will be world famous! (Hmm, maybe then I'll pull a Stephen Colbert and claim I gave her the "Stewart Bump"!)

Watch Mattison coach on Great Day Houston here: Fast connection or Slow connection.

Topics: School of Coaching Mastery, Mattison Grey, Masterful Coaching

Is Time Running Out For You to Become a Certified Coach?

Posted by Julia Stewart

Certified CoachToday I got a call from a coach I knew years ago.

 

He was trying to access the IAC website to finish their online certification test on the old Proficiencies before it's taken down on January 1st and wondered if he still had time to get certified.

Yes, there's still time - three days. So, if you haven't gotten certified in the Proficiencies yet, then it's probably time for you to begin studying the Masteries! ;-)

Are the Masteries just the old Proficiencies with different language? No.

I taught Thomas Leonard's Proficiencies for years. They were a big upgrade in coaching technology at the time. Teaching them was priceless learning for me AND now that I'm teaching the new Masteries, I'm quadrupling what I'm learning.

I'm also shocked (and thrilled) to see how fast new coaches are learning mastery, using SCM's unique approach to coach training. When I reflect on the teleclass format we used at the schools I studied at, as well as those I previous taught at, all I can say is "WHAT WERE WE THINKING??"

Of course graduates of those coaching schools got stuck in limbo, neither masterful nor successful, when their primary way to learn coaching was to get on a phone line and listen to somebody else talk about coaching (while students answered their email, cleaned house, or - like me - worked out)!

That's crazy.

You need to be fully engaged in class, using new skills as soon as you learn them and getting precise feedback right away from an expert, so you can step into mastery immediately. Otherwise, you could spend a lifetime in triads and study groups without ever knowing if you're getting it right or not.

I've been preparing coaches for IAC certification since it came into being, because it's based on the one thing clients care about: masterful coaching. And these current newbies are going to coach better than us veterans pretty soon. Exciting - and kinda scary!

Anyhow, if you missed the boat on Proficiency-based certification, don't fret. You can still get certified in the Masteries and if you want to blow the top off your own coaching ability - and make sure you actually get certified this time - then take this opportunity to join SCM's Certified Coach Training Program. 

It's for experienced, trained coaches who intend to be the best at what they do. You'll be challenged, your skills expanded, your confidence solid, your mastery unquestioned. (And we'll pay your certification fee!)

Have questions? Call here: 877-224-2780

Are you a new coach? We have a program for you too!

School of Coaching Mastery

Let's do great work together!

Topics: School of Coaching Mastery, SCM, Thomas Leonard, Become a Certified Coach, IAC, certified coach, Masteries

IAC Coaching Masteries(TM)

Posted by Julia Stewart

 

As we get ready for the Certification Prep Intensive weekend that is coming up In NYC October 26-28, focus on the IAC Coaching Masteries is increasing, here at the School of Coaching Mastery (SCM).

SCM is the first and only full-service coach training school that prepares coaches for the prestigious IAC Certified Coach designation with the IAC Coaching MasteriesTM.

But that's not all SCM does. We're ready to roll out two new courses this Fall, "New Paradigms for Coaches" gets to the philosophy behind the coaching movement and "Intro to Spiral Dynamics Coaching" reveals the psychology behind people, values, culture and evolution. Great stuff!

Still preparing coaches for IAC Certification, the only certification by an independent not-for-profit organization that is based primarily on the quality of the coach's coaching (The only thing that really matters to coaching clients), is what gives SCM it's underlying structure and inspiration. Nothing is more exciting and humbling than witnessing new coaches blossom into masterful coaches. Masterful coaches are changing the world.

The IAC Coaching MasteriesTM are a higher level of coaching than is being taught almost any where else and what we've discovered, is that even new coaches can learn coaching at this higher level, when properly taught. No more struggling with mediocre skills that are hard to sell to a skeptical public. Coaches can learn what works quite quickly. That's great news for coaches and for the world!

If you're in the NYC area and would like an introduction to the IAC Coaching MasteriesTM, join us October 25th, one day before the Certification Prep Intensive for the one-day Masteries Intro Intensive. Prepare with the most sophisticated coaching model in the world and then spend a 2 1/2 day weekend with Master Instructor Donna Steinhorn, IAC-CC and me (Julia Stewart, IAC-CC, President of the School of Coaching Mastery) to prepare two recordings for submission to the IAC for Certification. You leave this program with two recordings that are ready to pass the rigorous Certification process, or you'll know exactly what you need to work on.

“Anyone who is committed to his or her own greatness should take this course. The profession will be enhanced immeasurably as a result and the way this would affect the world is awe-inspiring!”

- Kristi Arndt, PhD, IAC-CC, idealscoach.com


Copyright, Julia Stewart, 2007

Topics: School of Coaching Mastery, Donna Steinhorn, Julia Stewart, In-person coach training, certified coach

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