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Here's an example: I have a relative who is highly productive, organized and fast. I have another relative, who is a mental-health professional, who says this is obsessive compulsive behavior. Really? She is flourishing, so I'd say what she has is showing up as a strength, not a weakness. According to the Clifton Strengths Finder, she's a strong Activator, someone who, once she's decided what to do, gets it done fast. According to Clifton, I'm a strong Strategizer and should work with Activators. When I collaborate with my Activator relative, I suggest things we should consider and we decide what to do about them. Then, while I'm thinking about adding them to my to-do list, she gets them done. For me, this is a little like having a magic genie. 

Since today is Valentine's Day, I thought you might enjoy some fun facts about love and positive psychology researcher, Barbara L. Fredrickson's new book,Love 2.0: How Our Supreme Emotion Affects Everything We Feel, Think, Do, and Become , is loaded with never-before-heard-of facts about love, romance, health and success. So pull up a chair, grab a loved one and have fun!

Okay first, this is science, so we need to define our terms. But rest assured, these are fun terms!

Barbara is the researcher most associated with the Positivity Ratio (Quick: go measure yours here. Then come right back for more cool stuff.) Basically, the Positivity Ratio says if your positive thoughts and feelings (a.k.a. positivity) out number your negative thoughts and feelings (a.k.a. negativity) by a ratio of at least 3 to 1, you'll likely flourish, rather than languish. The upward limit is around 11 to 1. Poliannas don't flourish.

Why do folks with strong Positivity Ratios thrive? Because, according to Fredrickson's research, positivity broadens your perspective so you notice more opportunities (Funny,  Thomas Leonard said 15 years ago that's how Attraction works! I'd like to suggest that positivity is highly attractive). Positivity also helps you build resources such as, values, strengths and skills, that assist you even in tough times, which creates longer-term resiliency. That's her "Broaden and Build" theory.

Barbara has recently shifted her research to shared positivity, which she terms, "Positivity Resonance" or "Love 2.0". Love in the English language is an extremely broad term. To measure it, she had to define love very narrowly. Keep that in mind, while reading the fun facts about Love 2.0, below. Her definition for positivity resonance is limited to positivity that is shared by people face-to-face or in physical contact.

"Love is our supreme emotion that makes us come fully alive." - Barbara L. Fredrickson

Here are twenty-five fun facts about Love 2.0:

1. "...love, and its absence, fundamentally alters the biochemicals in which your body is steeped."
2. Love is a momentary state that can pass between strangers who share a mutually positive experience together.
3. Love is a skill that can be learned which impacts the expression of your genes.
4. "The sheer complexity of love's biology is reason enough for awe."
5. When you learn to prioritize love, you actually get more value from it and become resilient faster.
6. Love literally changes your mind and enables you to see others wholeheartedly, helping you transcend your usual ego perspective.
7. Love is the arising of three events: shared positive emotions, sychrony between you and another's biochemistry and behavior, motive to invest in each other's well-being.
8. Other positivity emotions are not mirrored back in this way.
9. Love reverberates between people and belongs to all parties involved.
10. Safety is a precondition for love.
11. People who suffer from anxiety, depression, loneliness and low self-esteem; have a limited ability to experience love 2.0.
12. Eye contact is a potent trigger for positivity resonance.
13. You can experience some of the positive effects of love 2.0 while alone, when thinking about a loved one for instance, but the effects are diminished.
14. Love impacts your body on the cellular, even molecular level.
15. Love physically impacts your brain's development, causing you to experience more positivity and less anxiety.
16. Love 2.0 triggers cascades or oxytocin, sometimes called, "the love hormone".
17. Oxytocin is the lead chemical in the "calm and connect" function; it literally reduces stress.
18. Oxytocin appears to make people more intuitive about others.
19. Love increases "vagal tone", which your doctor can measure to predict the likelihood of your having a heart attack.
20. People with higher vagal tone regulate glucose levels and inflammation, as common denominator in many diseases, including diabetes, heart disease and cancer.
21. Vagal tone can be improved with training with positivity resonance. 
22. "In the very moment that you experience positivity resonance, your brain syncs up with the other person's brain."
23. The effects of love can be carried to you by a person's voice.
24. "Brain coupling" occurs between people who are experiencing positivity resonance and in some cases, you begin to anticipate the other person's thoughts, feelings and words, rather than just react to them.
25. The causal arrow runs in both directions at once and drives self-sustaining trajectories of growth.

Do you know which types of happiness will create lasting value for your coaching clients? Everyone has a slightly different happiness style. What works for one person may not do it for another. Depending on your happiness style, you may want to master the following to create engagement and flow.

Positive Psychology founder, Martin Seligman has identified 3 happy lifestyles, each more enduring than the last:

1. The Pleasant Life
2. The Engaged Life
3. The Meaningful Life

The engaged life is one in which you're challenged to use your greatest strengths and slip into a brain state called, 'flow'. Great performers, athletes, inventors and more have described this state of flow in which everything else disappears. Turns out, flow is an important element of happiness and flourishing.

Flow is an equally important element of positive psychology coaching, as well. When we create this peak state with our clients, coaching feels easy and client results are amazing. If you learn to coach this way, you will immediately upgrade your coaching results. Fabulous coaching practically sells itself because clients like to share their amazing success with others. Learning what flow is will get you started, but join a class to discover how to do it, yourself.

Flow is very much connected to what you are doing and how you do it. When you master a skill, you have more opportunities to reach flow than when you have just beginner skills. That is why we train our positive psychology coaches to coach masterfully. They have more fun, create incredible outcomes for their clients, and enjoy much more success.

Watch this TEDTalk with the 'Father of Flow': Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi to understand how flow is the secret to happiness:

Learn more about positive psychology coaching and flow:

Article by Julia Stewart, MCC

I've often said that I wish Thanksgiving was a little more about gratitude and a little less about food. Then again, the food is pretty awesome...

So I'm definitely all for keeping the food! But...

Here's a way to add gratitude to a Thanksgiving feast that's both meaningful and memorable. And according to positive pychology research, this exercise will help you feel immediately happier and...you'll continue to feel happier even six months from now. That's something to be thankful for!

I'm talking about the Gratitude Visit, which evolved out of Martin Seligman's Penn State course on positive psychology.

The holiday season is the perfect time to do a positive psychology visit, because so many of us are traveling anyway. I dare you to add it too your Thanksgiving feast. You'll be glad you did!

Here's how:

• Think of someone who has helped you in some life-changing way, but who you have never sufficiently thanked.
• Then sit down with a pen and paper, or sit at your computer, and write out specifically what that person did for you, the impact it had on your life and how thankful you are. 
• Then travel to that person’s home, or invite them to yours, but don’t tell them about the gratitude visit in advance. An email or telephone call is not enough; you must do this in person.
• When you are together, whether alone or among others, take out the gratitude story that you previously wrote and read it aloud to them, making frequent eye contact as you read. Then give the story to them to keep.
• That’s it! Imagine the emotional impact such a strong acknowledgment will have on the person you’re thanking. Interestingly, positive psychologists tell us that the impact on the person who does the thanking is most dramatic.

What more beautiful custom to add to your Thanksgiving tradition? 

This exercise was taken from my course titled, Introduction to Positive Psychology for Coaches. Click the button below to learn more and join the next one.

What's your favorite way to express gratitude?

Image by Moonlightbulb