School of Coaching Mastery

Coaching Blog

Coaching Questions Don't Always End With Question Marks

Posted by Julia Stewart

Business Coach, Mattison Grey, MCCToday, in the International Association of Coaching's (IAC) Voice newletter/blog, an article by Business Coach, Mattison Grey, MCC, appeared with the title, When the Best Coaching Tool Isn't a Question.

In her article, Mattison makes a powerful case for acknowledgment as a masterful coaching tool. She should know. Mattison wrote the book on acknowledgment called, The Motivation Myth. And she points out that most coaches don't know what it is or confuse it with something else.

Mattison has studied the art of acknowledgment more than anyone I know, probably more than any coach alive, so I always defer to her on this subject. She started educating me on acknowledgment six or seven years ago and I've watched her use it in action many times. It truly is amazing.

Unfortunately, if you haven't watched a master acknowledger practice her art, or if you didn't know what you were witnessing, you probably missed the implications. So let me point out a few.

Here's Mattison's definition of acknowledgment:

Acknowledgment is saying what a person did, or results they achieved, delivered with a tone of appreciation, curiosity or surprise, and without judgment.

Easy, right? Try it. For most coaches, it's anything but easy. That's because we're still getting in the client's way (In other words, we're NOT making it all about them, so we're failing the first step in master coaching).

If you acknowledge well, here are some of the things that may happen:

  • Your client lights up
  • They feel seen/heard
  • They don't feel suspicious (as in, 'What's she buttering me up for?')
  • They acknowledge themselves ('I did!')
  • They open up to us
  • They see themselves in a new light
  • They tell us things we didn't even know to ask about
  • They think more resourcefully
  • They step into their Personal Greatness
  • They are willing to do far more
  • They love themselves (and us)

When I teach acknowledgment to Master Coach Training students, I offer a few pointers, such as, use second-person pronouns (you, your, yours) instead of first-person pronouns (I, me, mine); acknowledge what the client did, the results they got and who they are becoming.

When used well, acknowledgment can express or enhance virtually any other coaching skill, including all of the IAC Coaching Masteries(tm). The right acknowledgment, well-placed and followed by a bit of silence, can even be a powerful clarifier.

Which is one reason why master coaches don't always ask questions.

Motivation Myth

 

Get your copy of Mattison's book, The Motivation Myth (at left) and become a master of acknowledgment.*

 

*I'm an affiliate of Mattison's and I would recommend this book, anyway.

Topics: business coach, Coaching, blog, Become a Master Coach, coaching questions, Mattison Grey, Masterful Coaching, acknowledgment, MCC, Master Coach Training, IAC, coaching tool

Your Coaching Questions Answered: Dreaded Coaching Conversations

Posted by Julia Stewart

Your Coaching Questions AnsweredA month ago, I posted to this blog with questions about conversations that coaches dread and I mentioned that best-selling author, Deborah Brown-Volkman, and I are working on a related project...

Well, I'm ready to tell you about the 1st step in the related project: It's a series of 4 interactive webinars, hosted by Deborah and me on 4 types of conversations that coaches tend to dread and how to handle them.

You see, Deborah and I are both constantly asked by stressed-out coaches who are unprepared for tricky communication issues that come up all the time and we knew somebody needed to address this stuff, like...


  • Clients who lie or don't follow through on fieldwork
  • Potential clients who say they 'can't afford' you
  • Clients who don't pay on time
  • How to fix it when you've said the wrong thing

These issues aren't just embarrassing and stressful; the fear and confusion that come from not knowing what to say or how to handle tough situations like these can bring your success to a screeching halt!

So here's what we're doing to help: In these 4 one-hour Q&A webinars, Deborah and I will offer advice on how to handle the most-oft asked questions, but we won't stop there: You can ask your biggest questions and we'll answer on the spot.

Think of it as an injection of clarity that brings you the ease and confidence you want for yourself and your business - and we're doing it at a price that any savvy coach can handle:

Take one class or all four and get the answers you need on 4 Mondays, January 23rd to February 13th, 2-3 PM EST (GMT-5). They're just $30 per class...but if you act quickly you can save up to $40!

  • How to Have Have Tough Conversations With Potential Coaching Clients

  • How to Deal With Renegade Coaching Clients

  • How to Create Ideal Coaching Clients With Advanced Communication Skills

  • How to Have Conversations That Create Your Ideal Coaching Business

Here's a secret to all of these questions: The are all best handled proactively. But how can you set up yourself for success if you don't know what to expect? Easy. Ask your questions and listen to the questions and answers that other coaches share on these value-packed calls. Deborah and I know a lot and we're ready to share!

Seating is limited and classes are filling up. But if you act fast (a.k.a. proactively), you can save $10 on each class that you sign up for. How?

Register by January 20th and get each class for $20: Add the discount code below when you register online. Click 'Apply' and the cost of each class will be lowered to just $20. But you must use the discount code no later than 5 PM EST this Friday, January 20th.

Discount Code: Early20

Click below to register now:

 Click me

Topics: coaching business, Coaching, webinar, coaching questions

Beyond Coaching Questions: The Conversations That Coaches Dread

Posted by Julia Stewart

Dreaded coaching conversationsMy colleague and friend, Deborah Brown-Volkman, and I are planning a coaching communications project that moves beyond, ‘Which coaching questions should I ask?’ and covers the trickiest and stickiest conversations that professional coaches must have, but often dread.

 

 

You know the coaching conversations that give you sweaty palms:
  • How do you handle the client who doesn’t pay you on time?
  • How do you tell your client that you really can’t give them an extra 20-30 minutes every week?
  • How do you tell your client that s/he needs therapy instead of coaching?
  • What do you say to the client who ‘can’t afford’ you?
  • How do you raise your fees without losing your clients?
  • [insert your dreaded client conversation question here]

My students and mentees ask me these questions everyday, but Deborah and I are creating a new resource to give you answers and ideas that are right at your fingertips.


The truth is, as a coach, you need advanced communication skills. And if you don’t have them, your peace of mind will suffer and so will your coaching.

“Success in life is directly proportional to the number of awkward conversations you’re willing to have.” - Anonymous

Do you worry about how to handle touchy conversations with your coaching clients? Then please share which conversations keep you up at night in our comments section, below.

Tell us some of the hardest or most difficult conversations you've had or don't want to have. Your questions about communication best practices for coaches will help shape this project greatly - and will help us to better help you.

Please share your questions below. We’ll be happy to offer answers or methods for finding your own best answers, so you never have to dread having another uncomfortable conversation again. And if you have a great story about how you handled a tough conversation, we’d love to hear it - and you might just help a fellow coach get a good night’s sleep tonight!

[UPDATE: Deborah and I are hosting 4 low-cost live, interactive tele-webinars on how to have the toughest coaching conversations of your career. Click below for more info...]

Click me

Ask your questions about dreaded coaching conversations, below...

Topics: Career, Coaches, coaching clients, coaching questions, communication

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