Coaching Blog

In sports, it's called thinking like a winner vs. thinking like a loser.

In Law of Attraction terms, it's thinking that attracts what you want vs. thinking that repels what you want. I call it success thinking vs. failure thinking. Regardless, these thoughts are powerful and they can hijack your client's plans no matter how well you coach them.

Most, if not all, failure thinking comes from the Voice of the Victim, in Big Mind terms. We all have it to some degree. Ironically, the victim can jump out just when your client is about to succeed! Genpo Roshi, who pioneered the Big Mind process, says that the victim story is a cover up for disowning the voice of 'seeking power'. Read on and you'll see why.

What does failure thinking sound like? Helpless. Focused on obstacles more than goals. The client has placed power outside of him/herself and put it in their circumstances. Think: whining.

A few strategies for coaching your client to success:

1. Most of the time, your client's inner victim just needs to be heard. Usually we try to shut down our victim thoughts, but if we never voice them, they may block us from doing what we really want. Procrastination and self-sabotage are examples. Encourage your client to voice their complaints - up to a point. Five minutes of 'BMW Time' (bitch, moan & whine) at the start of the coaching session can work wonders.

Example: I had a client who hired me to help her work on her personal development just before her husband left her for another woman. She was seeing a therapist, but her husband's cruel antics threatened to dominate our coaching sessions until we established BMW Time at the start of each session and devoted the rest to her personal growth.

2.Validate how your client feels - again up to a point. Most clients just need to know that they're okay, even though they're scared. Definitely support them in that, but take care not to get caught up in the client's story. Validate the client, not their belief that they are going to fail.

3. Sometimes the client needs to upgrade his/her community. If you're client is surrounded by failure thinking, it may feel normal to them. Limiting time with the Negative Nancies and expanding time spent with folks who think positively can work wonders. Help your client develop awareness around this, so they can make empowering choices.

4. If failure thinking persists, you may have to bring out the sledgehammer.  Sometimes your client just needs you to call them on their crap. Remember, it's your job to tell the truth, but if you sense your client it too fragile to hear it, you may need to skip straight to #5. 

Example: When I was working on my MFA in Dance, I was fortunate enough to study choreography with Phyllis Lamhut, a dance legend who I consider my 1st coach. Working with Phyllis isn't for the faint hearted, but she is brilliant and she tells the unvarnished truth, which is what high achievers really want. One weekend after I performed less than my best in a concert, Phyllis shared the unvarnished truth with me in front of my entire class. Although I was sick and had several other excuses, Phyllis knew I was letting myself down. She told me I was throwing away my career, if I let all  of that get in the way. Was I crushed? Slightly. Did I get the message? You bet. Ultimately, there are no excuses; you either do what you really want or you don't.

5. If all of the above doesn't move your client out of failure thinking, they may need therapy more than coaching. If the victim has grown this powerful, you're likely hearing the voice of depression or worse. In this case, the victim has taken over; it's not just seeking power, it has enslaved it. Coaches aren't qualified to diagnose mental illness, but we are qualified to notice when our tools aren't adequate for our client's situation.

What's the difference between knowing our limits and thinking like a failure? The outcome. Failure thinking leads to failure. Recognizing limits leads to growth and new possibilities. Learn the difference and help your clients succeed.

Can new college grads find work this year, or should they just go home and live with Mom & Dad?

With the unemployment rate still hovering near 10%, new college graduates are having an awful time finding jobs this year. Transitioning from college to adult life is tough enough even when the economy is good. There's getting the job, learning to budget, pay the school loans and still buy the stuff you need, all while navigating your social and love life. That's overwhelming, right there.

But this year? For millions it's easier to just delay the whole process and move back in with the parents. Or maybe apply for graduate school and hope things get better in two more years.

Things are so bad, one frustrated NYC mother started her own website called, Get My Kid Off My Couch, with links to resume, blog, social sites, etc., showing off her daughter's skills, because both of them are desperate to get on with their lives and all it will take is just one little job.

Well here's an alternative. If your son or daughter has good communication skills (Check their cell phone bill, if you're not sure), they may want to upgrade what they already have with coaching skills for a couple of reasons.

1. There are still jobs for people who can coach. I just did a search on Indeed.com for 'coach, coaching or coaches' (and I filtered OUT  sports references like tennis, lacrosse, cheer, football, baseball, softball, basketball, etc., etc.). I got back nearly 75,000 available jobs that require coaching skills. Not bad.

2. Coaching can be a lucrative business. Some college grads are skipping the job treadmill all together and just starting their own businesses. Few businesses are as inexpensive to start up as coaching. There's no inventory, no store front, no staff needed, just a computer and a phone. And good coaching skills.

And by the way, that major transition that students go through from high school to college to first job and beyond? That's a huge coaching niche. Who better to coach young people through these major life stages a than those who have just navigated all that, themselves?

However, a very young coach needs coach training to be credible. Happily, new college grads are already good at being students and coach training costs a lot less than graduate school. And it trains them in something they can actually do, too.

For more info on how to become a coach, visit our Become a Coach Hub

Yesterday I wrote about the first five secrets to filling your coaching business with ease.

I recommend reading Part 1 first, but in a nutshell the first five secrets are: 1. Develop crystal clear goals, 2. Simplify everything, 3. Make sure all stake holders are on the same page, 4. Get the money handled, and 5. Tell everybody what you're up to. Let's get on with the last five:

6. Nix the Negative Nancies. Some people don't see the value of coaching. Worse, some people may not see the value in you. If you're surrounded by people who say things like, 'Why would anybody pay you for that?', they could stop you from succeeding. Seek out people who believe in you. Spend time with those who 'get' why coaching is such an amazing service (That's one of the hidden values of a good coaching school, by the way.). If the Negative Nancies in your life start to shift just by being around your inspired energy, or by you fully communicating what you're up to, great. But if they can't, you need to shield yourself from that doubtful energy. It's okay to simplify your life by not spending so much time with them.

7. Stay in motion - focused motion. Just because you trust the process, doesn't mean you aren't actively creating what you want. In fact, that's exactly what trusting the process does mean! Develop a plan for attracting your full practice. I've seen the Coach 100 process work for hundreds of coaches. You literally give away 100 coaching sessions to 100 different people and in the process, learn to fill your coaching practice. It works.

8. Coach a lot of people for free. Whether you call it Coach 100 or something else, you need to get a lot of experience as quickly as you can. Coaching lots of different people works much better than coaching one person 100 times. Be adventurous. Offer to coach that person you chatted with at Starbucks. Ask your friends to refer their friends to you. Share your big goal with people and they will want to help you, just like people help all those reality show contestants that you may watch. Everybody loves to get on board with an exciting big goal. Yours included.

9. Learn to notice when somebody wants to work with you. This is such an important skill! New coaches leave money on the table all the time, because they don't notice when someone is interested in working with them. Most clients need to be invited. You need to notice when someone wants to be invited to be your client.

10. Get your own coach. As a coach, you know tips are helpful, but customized conversations are transformative. What's more, a coach with integrity who doesn't have a coach, is likely to feel like a fraud. A good mentor coach will more than pay you back many times by helping you be more successful faster.

If you're a new coach, what are your challenges in building your business? Is the info in any of the tips above helpful?

If you're a veteran coach (or at least have your first client), please share what worked best for you, in the comments section below.

I'm probably biased, but the Coach 100 Business Success program is a great value and it really works. Check out Coach 100 here.

  A major right of passage for any professional coach is getting your very first paid coaching client.

Some coaches feel a little anxious until they get their first client, especially if it doesn't happen quickly. But it doesn't have to be that way. My first client volunteered to work with me. In so doing, he inspired me to attract several new clients in my first year of coaching by following the following simple rules. It can be this easy for you, too. These principles can help you stop chasing and let your clients find you, instead.

Your 1st steps are really about setting the foundation for your coaching success. It's almost impossible to show up as a great coach if doubt, fear and anxiety are causing you to feel a little desperate. Here are several things you can do to make the whole process easy as silk and still maintain your enthusiasm.

1. Develop crystal clear goals. Both short term and long term goals need to be clarified. And you might be interested to know that according to the Wall Street Journal, the single variable that is most likely to predict how profitable a business will be is how big the original goal was. Just be sure you have a plan and can see how you will fulfill your really big goals. In the meantime, have smaller, doable goals, so you know you're on track. My 1st year goal for my coaching business was to break even each month, so that my coaching income at least equaled what I was paying for coach training and for my mentor coach. I achieved it. My 2nd year goal was to pay myself back for everything I had invested upfront in my coaching business, so I could make a genuine profit. I achieved that too. By the beginning of my 3rd year, I had a full coaching practice and what I was earning was virtually all profit. Sane goals like these will keep you on track while you're creating the business of your dreams.

2. Simplify everything, including your life and your business. Relationships, jobs, family, volunteer work, etc. can all derail your business plans, if you're not careful. Beware the 'Super Coach' mentality that says you just have to do it all. Nobody can do it all. Since in the beginning, filling your coaching business takes more energy than merely keeping it full, and since early on is when your coach marketing skills are likely at their weakest, plan on putting in lots of hours and energy into your business at least for the first year or two until it's full, with a waiting list, and you have a reliable marketing engine. That may mean learning to say, 'No', a lot more often. Resign from demanding volunteer positions. Explain to the kids that you may miss a soccer game or two. Delegate at work. If coaching is your calling, you owe it to yourself and the world to clear the decks to get your business set up successfully.

3. Make sure all stake holders are on the same page. Speaking of family, friends, etc. Guilt can make building your coaching business more challenging. But your loved ones can also assist you and make it easier. Rather than feel bad that you're not doing as much for everyone else, use your coaching skills to fully communicate what you're really up to. When you share your inspiration and how much this means to you with them, the people who care most about you will whole-heartedly join your team and they may even help you find clients. This is different than trying to convince someone of the value of coaching, by the way. See #6 in tomorrow's post.

4. Get the money handled. When you know you have enough money coming in already, you can afford to trust the process of attracting clients. Starting a business is not like starting a new job. You won't get a paycheck in two weeks. But your time investment will payoff handsomely, if you go the distance. This is a good time to simplify your financial life, along with everything else. Reduce debts by negotiating for lower interest rates. Stop paying for things you aren't using. If you're not confident you have enough money coming in already, consider getting a part-time job. Some of the most successful coaches I've known took service jobs before they became successful. That way, they could focus on what they wanted to create instead of worrying about the money.

5. Tell everybody what you're up to. This is technically known as marketing, a.k.a. telling people how you can help. In your first year of coaching, even if your coaching skills aren't fully honed, yet, share your excitement and inspiration about coaching with pretty much everybody. Don't be attached to getting them to understand coaching the way you do. They probably won't. Do share your energy. That's naturally attractive and even contagious. My first client volunteered to work with me (and paid me) because I shared my excitement with him about what coaching can do. That's all it took! And he continued coaching with me for 7 years. You don't  need to convince people that you can help them. Convincing never works. See below.

Come back tomorrow for the last five secrets of finding your first coaching clients.

Are the first five secrets helpful to you? Do you have secrets of your own to share with other coaches? Please post them in the comments section.

Download the free Coach 100 eBook for more ideas on how to find your first coaching clients.

I think blogging was invented for coaches.

Or it may as well have been! Blogs are a natural fit for us partly because we are social creatures and partly because we have a lot to say.

We're naturals at forming meaningful relationships, because we're all about service and listening. That makes us social. And blogs are a highly interactive, highly social form of communication.

We've got a lot to say, perhaps because of all those hours we put in while coaching, asking questions and being silent. We learn quite a lot in the process and sometimes we're bursting to share it! No wonder then that coaches write so much and create thousands of hours of audio that they share freely.

And where better to post our philosophical musings, our solutions, and our favorite tools, than on a public blog?

Blog effectively and you will attract new clients and like-minded colleagues. A blog is a marvelous place for people to get to know you. But do learn the basics of blogging before you dive in. Otherwise, your blog could be hard labor, instead of a labor of love.

In honor of the Best Coaching Blogs 2010 contest that School of Coaching Mastery is hosting right now, we're releasing a brand-new free ebook on how to get started blogging effectively for your coaching business. Even if you've never blogged before, you could be ready to win in time for Best Coaching Blogs 2011!

Get the FREE eBook below and get started with your own blog right away!

Go here to download your free copy of the 'How to Blog Effectively for Your Coaching Business' ebook

Best Coaching Blogs 2010 opens this morning. Enter your blog to win!

The Best Coaching Blogs 2010 contest 'officially' opens this morning. A few of last year's participants entered over the weekend, so you can begin voting right away.

However, we will still be in the 'entry period' until the end of May, adding new blogs as they are entered. Right now is the time to enter the coaching blog contest.

How does the Best Coaching Blogs contest work?

Any self-described coach who blogs on coaching themes may enter for free. You'll get a badge, similar to the one above, to post on your blog, website, and social profiles, with a link to the contest, so your readers, clients, followers, etc., can all vote for you. Only one vote per blog entry, per IP (computer) address. And of course, you'll want to blog about it and post about it on social sites. Last year, major coaching organizations, professional coaches and even student coaches all entered - and won!

'Thanks again, Julia, for this competition. I joined for a lark, and got into the top ten! Incredible!' - Coach Gaye Wilson  

How are Best Coaching Blogs winners chosen?

Initial votes are cast by the public, so be sure to mobilize yours. Final results will be determined by the Semi-Finalists, themselves, in a closed vote (online survey). Criteria for winning include the quality of blog content and good sportsmanship. A summary of the final vote counts will be made public in a downloadable PDF document. The contest winners will be announced in this blog on July 1st.

 What do the Best Coaching Blogs win?

Every blog that makes it past the initial entry period will get a badge that describes what level they won (1st Place!) to display on their site, plus bragging rights. And this year, we're adding prizes - winners will receive free memberships to Coaching Insiders. More on that later.

Why should you enter Best Coaching Blogs 2010?

Well, you just might win. Last year, 50 blogs entered. New coaches, as well veterans, competed and won. There were 30,000 hits to the contest page within 2 months and visitors continue to visit the list of last year's winners, which links to their blogs. Winners also got picked up by other online lists of best blogs.

'Wow, thanks so much! This means a lot to me, especially considering the standard of the other blogs - many colleagues whose work I know well (and love reading regularly) were featured in the competition. So this is a real honour. Thanks to everyone!' - Coach Cath Duncan, 1st Place, Best Coaching Blogs 2009

Perhaps the real reason to enter is that you'll get new readers and perhaps new subscribers and clients. That's what last year's participants told me. They also told me the whole thing was a lot of fun!

'...an amazing experience. I'll be following some of the blogs from the contest and have had new people subscribe to my blog and newsletter. It's great to share with those of like mind and receive inspiration and support along the way.' - Coach Marian Kerr 

Last, the Best Coaching Blogs contests are designed to spotlight great coaching and how it helps others do great things and have better lives and more successful businesses. Coaching is changing the world.

'We are very honoured to have been voted one of the ten best blogs - especially among so many other incredible entries!' - Coach Linda Dessau, editor IAC VOICE

Please share this post with as many people as you know, especially coaches. Our social share buttons at the top of this post make that easy for you. And if you decide to enter, good luck!

Enter Best Coaching Blogs Here.

I spoke to a member of Certification Bootcamp this morning about her Coaching Triads.

She called me because I sent her a rather cryptic message:

1. Stop being 'nice'; start being honest.
2. Dig deeper. 

But maybe I should back up a bit and mention what a coaching triad is and how it helps you become a master coach. A coaching triad is a tool I dreamed up with one of my mentor coaches many years ago as a way for coaches to prep for IAC Certification. Triads provide learning on multiple levels and they are free. Three coaches get on a three-way-calling line or use a free bridge line. They each take turns being the coach, the client and the observer. After each coaching session, they talk about what they heard. Everybody learns - fast. This is an 'extra service' that Bootcamp members are using to prep for the live intensive - fast.

Back to the coach who called me. You see, someone (I thought it was her) from the bootcamp emailed me over the weekend, and asked how to tell a triad partner that her coaching was missing the mark. She also mentioned that she was having trouble coming up with a problem or goal to be coached on in every triad session. Hence my advice above.

It turns out I sent the advice to the 'wrong' coach, but it fit perfectly for her. And I can't find the original email from whoever sent it and I suspect it doesn't exist. (Imagine the theme from the Twilight Zone playing).

Those questions are common problems for coaches in triads until they start thinking like master coaches. Then the problems disappear like 'magic', because their thinking has changed.

We employ as many tools like these as possible so our student/coaches become master coaches faster. Certification, especially live certification, turns up the heat like a catalyst in a chemical reaction. Learning become almost instant.

I believe it was Leonard Bernstein who said that to achieve great things, it takes a plan and not quite enough time. So I suggest you plan to be a master coach faster. It's the surest way to coaching success. Once you start thinking like a master coach, you'll understand why.

Ready to achieve great things and become a master coach faster? There are 2 seats left at the early bird price for the live Certification Bootcamp intensive. Join us!

 Oh, and if you're the one who sent me that email, you're answer is above.

One of the many hurdles that a new coach might struggle with is getting up that first website.

Honestly, most coaches make this harder than it has to be. And if you're waiting to fill your business with clients until after the website is up, you're giving yourself an unnecessary delay. Why?

• Unless you're an marketing genius, most of your clients won't find you through your site, anyway. At least not at first.
• In fact, most of your clients don't care if you even have a website.
• There are so many other ways to to be found on the web besides a traditional website (social networking, directories, blogs, portals, etc.) that are probably juicier ways to attract clients, anyway. 

But a site's a good thing to have, so if you're struggling with it, here's a great way to get a site up in less than an hour. Buy a URL (web address) and point it to your 'personal web portal' (Bribe your 13 year old nephew to handle the web address, or pay a webmaster, if you must. GoDaddy and HostGator are 2 sites where you can get the address for a few bucks.)

Where do you get a 'personal web portal'? Here are 3 possibilities: flavors.me, chi.mp, and unhub. Watch the demo below to see how flavors works. Easy enough that even you can do it (Let's face it, your nephew's taste in graphics just won't work for your coaching site, anyway.)

Once your portal is up, add links to your Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, MCX, Flickr & YouTube accounts. Then remember to add a link TO your portal from all the social sites and directories that you belong to, so people can find you on the web. You can add your new web address to your business card and Voila! your website problem is solved.

Flavors.me from Jack Zerby on Vimeo.

Get the free Coach 100 eBook for a better way to attract coaching clients.

I've talked to hundreds of coaches and nearly all of them say the same thing:

They see themselves equally as entrepreneurs and professionals. I'm not surprised.

DEFINITION:

Entrepreneur: Someone who starts businesses for fun. May or may not be successful.

Professional: Someone with professional training & credentials who offers professional services for a fee. May or may not be successful.

Coaches don't just wear two hats. You could say we have two brains, when it comes to running our businesses. One for the entrepreneur (Fun & profit!) and one for the professional (I'll learn everything I can to give the best results and I have credentials that confirm that.)

I love being an entrepreneur. It's loads of fun. I bet you do too. And I bet your inner professional held you back until he/she was convinced you'd done what it takes to be the best you can be. Not always fun - but worth it, if you want to be a professional with integrity. And necessary, if you want to be a professional who succeeds.

You see, to your inner professional, practicing your profession without the appropriate credentials is as terrifying as walking down the red carpet stark naked!

• Or performing brain surgery without being a doctor.
• Or flying a plane without a pilot's license.

There's no getting around this, if you see yourself as a professional. So, if you're a coach who wants more clients and you're trying to do it without training and certification (the coaching profession's recognized credentials), then your inner professional is just trying to save you from disaster and humiliation.

You can thank it for that.

Your inner entrepreneur doesn't get this. It's busy running a cool business and it doesn't have time & money to spend on more training. And anyway, coaches don't really need certification, right?

Actually, according to a number of studies (See Coaching Sherpa), professional coaches without training & certification earn less, become successful more slowly, and/or drop out of the profession after a couple of years.

No surprise, eh?

You've got to get your inner professional and inner entrepreneur talking to each other. They need to work together so you can have the fun, ease and profits you planned on and the integrity you require.

Fortunately for you, there's something that will make both your inner professional and inner entrepreneur very, very happy.

It's called Certification Bootcamp. It's for practicing coaches, only, and it's short on both time and money, long on fun, and high on quality, value and results (Listen, I'm a professional, too).

The premiere edition of CERTIFICATION BOOTCAMP is coming up in a few weeks.

IT INCLUDES:

• 10 TELE-WEBINAR CLASSES
• 4 TELECONFERENCES
• 1 LIVE EVENT

You can customize it and take only what you need.

It's fast and fun and priced so low, even your inner entrepreneur will love it. If you jump in quickly, you inner professional will breathe a sigh of relief and will finally, FINALLY, let you succeed like you know you are meant to.

NO MORE GOING NAKED.

This program is only open to a few good coaches and it's already filling, so if you're at all curious, check it out right now. Your inner professional will thank you.

If you have more questions, call us at +1-877-224-2780

Check out Coach Certification Bootcamp here.

Artifact From the Future:

On April 1st, 2014, the International Association of Coaching released its new IAC Coaching Supremacies^TM, the intellectual property on which its elite IAC Certified Coach designation will be based, going forward.

Reached for comment, current IAC President, Thomas J Leonard, often called the ‘Father of Coaching' and recently brought back to life via advancements in cryogenics said, ‘I'm pleased with the improvements in coaching during my absence, except for all The Secret hoohah... With the release of the new coaching supremacies, I'd say coaching has reached about 13% of its full potential.' Mr. Leonard founded the IAC in 2003 with the mission to ‘Improve the Quality of Coaching Worldwide'.

Here are the Five IAC Coaching Supremacies^TM:

1. Is Completely Transparent: The Certified Coach is so honest, straightforward and highly evolved that in many cases, he/she has  achieved complete invisibility. This negates the need for pajamas while coaching by phone. The advantage of transparency is that the supreme coach gains complete trust from the client, who often is unaware that the coach is even there. It also aides in Supremacy #2.

2. Really Sees the Client: The Certified Coach doesn't rely on client truthfulness. That can come in short supply. Rather, the supreme coach can view everything the clients says and does, electronically, physically or metaphysically, 168 hours per week and coaches the Truth, not some story about the truth. For the geographically or metaphysically challenged coach, a new iShadow App for iPad can be purchased from iTunes for 99 cents. A copycat version for droidPad is also available for free from Google.

3. Is Utterly Silent: The Certified Coach has mastered the skill of silence so completely, he/she doesn't have to say anything. Ever. And the client is then coached, well, supremely. Supreme coaches say this advanced skill set speeds up the coaching process by at least 10 fold. When contacted for comment, Coach Mattison Grey had no comment.

4. Creates Outcomes by Thinking: The Certified Coach has mastered the Law of Attraction (or Principles of Attraction, if you prefer) so thoroughly that he/she merely has to think and feeeel what the client really wants and the client gets it, pronto. This is casually known as the genie-in-the-bottle skill. No need for poky structures, systems or environments to do the work. That's so 2010.

5. Coaches Beyond Enlightenment: The Certified Coach knows that every level of advanced consciousness carries with it its own peculiar dysfunction. Whether it's complacency, absence of boundaries, severe financial woes, or how to feng shui a cave, even enlightened clients, now estimated to make up at least 50% of all coaching clients, need their own version of a kick in the pants now and then and the supreme coach knows how to deliver it.

IAC Eurasia Chapter President, B. K. Ramalamabananananda, who lives in Mumbai, the current epicenter of professional coaching, and who specializes in coaching Bollywood starlets said, ‘These coaching supremacies are really nothing new. Indian saints have been performing such feats for centuries, so why not coaches?'

Want to stay abreast on the future of coaching? Join our IAC virtual chapter and get this free white paper, plus more goodies. No joke.