School of Coaching Mastery

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Master Coach Demos

Posted by Julia Stewart

Master Coach DemosWe've been working on a new digital product for coaches called, Master Coach Demos.

The idea is to let you listen in on coaching sessions with various certified coaches (probably all IAC Certified Coaches) and hear how they demonstrate masterful coaching skills. It could be priceless value for coaches who want to be the very best and have limited time or money to spend.

Here's my conundrum. The more I think about it, the more I want to do with this project. It started out as a CD or MP3 download product, but I'm not sure that would do it justice. I want it to be valuable to coaches and also  come in the format/s they need. It can't be all things to all people, but it can be optimal for most people.

I have a sample recording below that you can listen to, right now. It's uncut. As you listen, notice what you learn - and what you need to learn more from it.  Ask for what you need in the comments area, below. I'll be happy to answer your questions, so other coaches can learn from it, too.

Here are some potential ideas for Master Coach Demos:

  • Include full-length masterful coaching sessions with commentary on what's working and why
  • Include short coaching snippets of coaching that zero in on specific coaching skills and situations for fast, targeted learning
  • Verbal and/or written explanation of what's working (and maybe what isn't)
  • Interviews with the coaches, themselves, and maybe even with the clients, to hear what they experienced in the session, or as a result of it
  • Monthly or weekly updates/installments
  • Perhaps a membership site
  • Video?
  • Podcasts?
  • Hmmm...

I could use your help...

Would this product be helpful to you? What would you use it for? (Prep for certification; use it to help you with specific client situations; 'on the fly' learning when you're at the gym or driving your car; etc...)

What format would you prefer? (Monthly membership; one-payment digital product; interactive membership for questions and support; etc...)

As a Thank-you, I'm including this one-hour coaching session for you to listen to right here. It's me coaching a celebrity client. Yes, I hesitate to call my own coaching session a 'Master Coach Demo', because it could always be improved. As I tell my students, 'Even if I screw up, it's a great learning opportunity for you to catch it and learn why something worked or didn't work.'

This recording is uncut. And I'm not offering commentary right here - yet. I'd love for you to listen and ask what you want/need to know in the 'Comments' section. That'll help me understand the precise way to deliver a session like this to you for faster/deeper learning.

Listen now:

Topics: Coaching, School of Coaching Mastery, coach, certified coaches, Master Coach Demos, Masterful Coaching, masterful coaches, coaching skills, IAC

Coaching Tip: Nine Ways to Say "No"

Posted by Julia Stewart

No!Many people find it really hard say "no". And, as you probably know, some people are harder to say "no" to than others. But not saying "no" when you need to can absolutely ruin your life, so it's important to learn to do it right.

Saying "no" is the first step in setting effective boundaries, which is a requirement for living a great life.

When you have the tools you need to say "no", you can open the door do being, doing and having what you really want. However, depending on how hard it is for you to say "no", you may also need coaching in order to incorporate this skill into your life. I became a coach, in part, to master this skill and now it's one of my coaching specialties.

I'm here to tell you that if you have a hard time saying "no", you're missing out on some of the best things in life, because you're not getting the chance to say "yes" to what you really want. That's one reason why hiring a masterful life or business coach is such a powerful game changer.

Whether or not you've already hired your own coach, here are some tips on how to say "no" effectively to almost anyone, including family, friends, neighbors, and co-workers who nag, plead, bully, etc. You will need to practice them in order to master them.

How much freer will your life be when you only say "yes" when you really mean it?

  1. The simple no. Do your best to say "no" with a neutral tone of voice. No edge, no charge. Simply say, "No", followed by no explanation. This is the most powerful way to say "no". A variation is: "I'm sorry, No." The key is to not offer an explanation. Explanations just invite arguments.
  2. The kinder no. Say, "I wish I could." (If necessary, follow with: "I understand. I wish I could.") This establishes that you're still a kind person, but you just can't. Again, no explanations.
  3. The preference no. Say, "I'd rather not." (If necessary, follow with: "I understand. I'd rather not.") This time, you're being clear that you have a preference and that preference is, "no". No need to explain it.
  4. The conditional no. Say, "I can't do it now, but I can do it ______." (If necessary: "As I said, I can't do it now, but I can do it ______.") This is a conditional "no". In some cases, you may be willing to say, "yes", but only under your conditions. Avoid trying to convince the other person that your condition is right. It doesn't matter who's right. (By the way, you have a "right" to set boundaries, even if you're "wrong".)
  5. The broken record no. If the other person argues, say, "Be that as it may, I can't." Repeat exactly this phrase and nothing else, until the other person runs out of arguments. Again, avoid engaging in any argument or explanation. This is known as the "broken record" response. The person that you repeat it to will run out of steam, eventually.
  6. The oh no. Just say, "Oh." This is useful if the other person tries to push your buttons, which is a common tactic of people who can't accept the word, "no." They most likely are upping the ante in order to engage you in an argument that they are used to winning. "Oh" is disarming, because it gives them nothing to argue with. Again, use a neutral tone of voice. Do your best to stay calm.
  7. The I'm not having a good time no. If the person you're saying "no" to persists, say, "I'm not having a good time and I'd like to end this conversation." If they still persist, say, "I'm not having a good time and I'm leaving."
  8. The stop no. If they still persist, "I'm asking you to stop." Stay calm. Next, "I'm requiring that you stop." Continue to stay calm.
  9. The traffic cop no. Finally, put your hand up, palm forward (think traffic cop) and repeat any of the steps above. This is extremely powerful.

If good fences make good neighbors, then good boundaries make great relationships, great careers and great lives.

Once you've mastered these nine ways to say "no", the energy vampires in your life will slink off to find other victims and the energy that you free up for your own life will be incredible. You'll also start attracting higher quality people. And paradoxically, you'll probably become a more giving person. Trust me on this.

These nine ways to say, "No" will help you build effective boundaries within which you can create your best life. If you need a coach to help you, I still take a few clients. If you want to help others create fantastic lives and careers, join School of Coaching Mastery. Either way, it's okay to call me at 877-224-2780 to find out.

Topics: business coach, life coach, School of Coaching Mastery, become a coach, Coaching Tip, Masterful Coaching, setting boundaries, say no

Seven Secrets of Coach Certification: New Coaching Masteries Version

Posted by Julia Stewart

Seven Secrets of CertificationFour years ago, I wrote an ebook based on what I had learned from training, mentoring and certifying hundreds of coaches.

Since then, hundreds more coaches have downloaded that ebook and many have used it to become certified, themselves. It's called the Seven Secrets of Certification, because it's about the seven things that I noticed that some coaches were doing, but others were not.

Those seven things are important, because they make the difference between masterful coaching and mediocre coaching AND they make the difference between passing an elite skills-based certification, like the IAC's or SCM's. 

Today, I'm re-releasing that ebook. The original sold for $21. The new one is FREE. Version 3.1 includes language that makes it easier to understand when reviewing the IAC Coaching Masteries(tm). In fact, we have links to all nine IAC Coaching Masteries(tm) learning guides, which you normally have to pay to see.

Oh, and we've included a $100 coupon, good for a discount off any SCM Coach Training Program or module

Are you ready for coaching mastery and an elite coach certification? This ebook will help you answer that question. And if you want to get there faster, we have proven programs to help you, whether you are a brand-new coach or a veteran professional.

Go here to learn about our Fast Track to Coach Certification and to download the free  Seven Secrets of Certification eBook

Topics: Coach Training Programs, Coach Certification, Become a Certified Coach, Become a Masterful Coach, Certified Coach Training, Masterful Coaching, get certified, IAC, certified coach

Masterful Coaching Includes Generosity

Posted by Julia Stewart

Dr. Susan Meyer, IAC-CCYou may already know that School of Coaching Mastery is doing a fund raiser for Habitat for Humanity. In the day and a half since we 1st announced it, 18 people have contributed a total $660 directly to the charity and since Habitat has a donor who will double online  contributions, that comes to $1360 that we've helped send their way - and we're just getting started!

The deal is, donate at least $20 and we'll let you take a special offering of coach training for free - and if you contribute $100, we'll add you to our "Coaching Superheroes" page.

We've already gotten two $100 contributions from Helena Kalin of Switzerland, and Dr. Susan Meyer, IAC-CC*, of New York City. Thanks to you both!

I was particularly pleased with Susan's contribution, because obviously, Susan doesn't need the training. Instead,  she asked me to give it to someone else, who might not have the money. So I've offered the training to someone who had wanted to do it, but lost her job.

How cool is that? Susan exemplifies what a master coach is all about.

By the way, Mattison Grey's* Coachathon is today. She's raising money for the Y. We all have stuff we can give, "even in this economy". 

*By the way, both Susan and Mattison are members of School of Coaching Mastery's Board of Advisors

Topics: Coaching, coach training, School of Coaching Mastery, habitat for humanity, Mattison Grey, Masterful Coaching, IAC

What Does Masterful Coaching Look Like on TV?

Posted by Julia Stewart


I heard from a number of coaches after they viewed thePenn & Teller Life Coaching videos below, who reported feeling mildly traumatized ("skeeved" is probably a better word) by how crummy the featured coaches appeared.

I think after all the "How Not to Coach" videos that I've run in the Mastery Coach Exchange, it's time I showed you one that displays true masterful coaching and how it changes lives, both in an instant and for all time.

Here's the perfect video to show that. It's a recent segment of the KHOU Great Day Houston show featuring virtuoso professional coach, Mattison Grey, IAC-CC (member of SCM's Board of Advisors). We briefly meet a couple of Mattison's clients, including the one who ditched her successful IT exec job to do what she really wants: own and run a gorgeous resort in Bali.

Then we watch a mini-session (4 minutes!) where Mattison coaches a member of the audience and helps her find what she really wants to do with the rest of her life. Mattison nails it with lightening speed. See if you can catch what she does (If you're a member of SCM, I bet you notice it). It goes by so fast, you may have to watch twice. There are instructions at the end of the video on how to get a work sheet that will help you find what you really want, too.

Also notice people's reactions when Mattison says "pros & cons" don't work and later points out that high performers are really good at getting what they don't want ~ Do you think she's speaking the truth for anyone?

Not too long ago, I had a conversation with Mattison in which we both agreed (half joking) that all those untrained, uncertified coaches out there who think they're so great ought to have to prove it by becoming IAC Certified! (Oops! There, I said it in public!) That may never happen, but it would sure prevent any more Penn & Tellers.

And ~ I have a request. If you like the way this video displays coaching; if you think it casts a favorable light on the coaching industry; please email Mattison here and beg her to have one of her tech people post this video on YouTube for the whole world to see. Mattison tends to ignore me when I suggest ways to leverage technology for more fame, but I bet if enough of you asked her to: Please, do coaches, coaching, and the whole world a big favor and show them what great coaching really looks like, then we'd all feel much better about those silly videos that show bad coaching - and Mattison will be world famous! (Hmm, maybe then I'll pull a Stephen Colbert and claim I gave her the "Stewart Bump"!)

Watch Mattison coach on Great Day Houston here: Fast connection or Slow connection.

Topics: School of Coaching Mastery, Mattison Grey, Masterful Coaching

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