Coaching Blog

Coaches Have Ultra True Fans

Posted by Julia Stewart

Kevin Kelly's blog, The Technium, gets referenced a fair amount on the blogosphere and for good reason, he's quite insightful. Today,Seth Godin directed me to Kevin's latest, True Fans, about how a good solid living can be made with just about 1,000 people who really believe in your work. Now Kevin is writing about how artists make it, but what he says is rather familiar.

Most coaches thrive and prosper with perhaps an even smaller number of fans. I'd call them Ultra True Fans. This is because an Ultra True Fan will pay a coach hundreds of dollars per month to work one-on-one or in a small group. And it's not unusual for Ultra True Fans to return to the same coach again and again and to buy many of the coach's products, as well.

The "big mailing list" myth can be a real waste of time for a coach. Do outstanding work and cultivate great relationships with your all your fans, especially your Ultra True Fans, and worry about becoming a mega star only if it really lights you up.

Copyright, Julia Stewart, 2008

Topics: Coaching, Coaches, Seth Godin, Kevin Kelly, True Fans

If Your Coaching Business is a Little Slow, Follow Seth Godin's Advice

Posted by Julia Stewart

I'm a subscriber to Seth Godin's Blog, because he's a great writer and really "gets" the whole "marketing with integrity" thing that is the only way to become a successful coach. I wish I had written the following post that he wrote for real estate agents. Only I would have written it for coaches during the last recession, when a lot of them needed to hear it. 

Since you're part of "group B", you might want to follow the advice he gives for real estate agents who are in it for the long haul. Just remember that you'll need to do a little creative customization to make it work for you.

But then, you're a coach, which means you're creative and you know how to serve people, right?


No brainer for you then!

Read Seth's post here and then subscribe.

Topics: Coaching, Seth Godin

School of Coaching Mastery: We're Different.

Posted by Julia Stewart



Wondering if SCM is the right coaching school for you? Well, we're a bit of a maverick in the coaching industry, so don’t expect us to make all the usual claims, like…

WE’RE THE WORLD’S BIGGEST COACHING SHOOL
No, and we never intend to be.

WE’RE THE OLDEST COACHING SCHOOL
Actually, we’re probably the newest.

WE’RE THE MOST PUBLICIZED COACHING SCHOOL
No, we rely primarily on colleague referrals to attract our students.

WE HAVE A WORLD-FAMOUS FOUNDER
Not really. But she’s highly respected by many of top coaches, worldwide.

WITH THE MOST CELEBRATED FACULTY IN COACHING
Only one so far, but we do have more fantastic folks ready to step in, as we grow.

WE’LL HOLD YOUR HAND EVERY INCH OF THE WAY
Well, you WILL get lots of attention in our small classes, but we expect a high level of personal responsibility from you.

WE’RE THE CHEAPEST COACHING SCHOOL
Unfortunately, small classes and great teachers tend to cost more, but our introductory fees are VERY attractive.

YOU’RE GUARANTEED TO GET RICH IF YOU SIGN WITH US
Anyone who guarantees that is lying. Don’t sign up unless you LOVE coaching!

WE’RE ICF ACCREDITED
Nope. We’re the first and only school that prepares for IAC Certification from the ground up.

BASED ON THE COACHING COMPETENCIES
No. We’re based on the IAC Coaching Masteries. Why not use the best?

BASED ON THE COACHING PROFICIENCIES
See above.

WE TEACH EVERYTHING YOU'LL EVER WANT TO KNOW
We just teach what's most effective.

YOU CAN LEARN BY JUST LISTENING TO OUR CLASSES
Passive learning doesn't lead to mastery. Every one of our eclasses includes practice and feedback on your coaching.

WE SPONSOR INTERNATIONAL CONFERENCES
Ha! But we do have a few small seminars every year.

THE OWNER IS MAKING MILLIONS
NOT!

WE USE ALL THE LATEST WEB TECHNOLOGY
We use up-to-date technology that facilitates fast learning. Anything more just adds a learning curve that gets in the way.

WE USE THE LATEST COACHING TECHNOLOGY
That’s actually true.

OUR MATERIAL IS THE EASIEST
Hardly, but it is very simple.

WE HAVE THE HIGHEST STANDARDS
Possibly. We ARE doing great work.

WE’RE THE RIGHT SCHOOL FOR EVERYBODY
We do our best work with students who are talented, committed, fast-learners.

CAN A SCHOOL THIS AUDACIOUS BE RIGHT FOR YOU?
Four ways to find out: Take the “Become a Masterful Coach” eClass. Subscribe to Coaching Mastery News. Email questions to info [at] schoolofcoachingmastery [dot] com. Call +1-877-224-2780 to talk to a real person.

Copyright, Julia Stewart, 2007 http://www.schoolofcoachingmastery.com

Topics: Coaching, coaching school, School of Coaching Mastery, ICF, IAC

Top Ten Worst Reasons to Become a Coach

Posted by Julia Stewart

People ask me every week to help them become coaches. I always want to know their real reasons for joining this fantastic profession, because over the years, I’ve seen a lot of coaches who had a miserable time building their businesses. Very often those coaches had fallen prey to one of the following misconceptions about coaching (which are frequently perpetrated by coaching schools – even the ones that are accredited.) 

Top Ten Worst Reasons to Become a Coach:
 

1. You’ve been coaching all your life and now you want to get paid for it.
 
2. You want to make lots of money.
 
3. You lost money on your last business and you think you won’t have to invest much money to set up a coaching business.
 
4. Coaching sounds easy.
 
5. You’ve heard that coaching is one of the fastest growing businesses in the 21st Century and you want to get in on it.
 
6. You’ve been in an accident or have been diagnosed with a debilitating disease and you think coaching will be physically easier than anything else you could do.
 
7. You just lost your job and you need to make money fast
 
8. You’re an author, consultant or online marketer and you’ve heard coaching is the way to boost your profits.
 
9. You’re broke and you’ve heard you can charge hundreds of dollars per month per client for just talking on the phone.
 
10. You’re a ____________ (hairdresser, bartender, lawyer - fill in the blank with whatever you currently do), so coaching should come easy to you, because you talk to people all day, anyway.
 

You may have noticed a trend here: People who go into coaching because it sounds like easy money almost always get burned. Do it because you love it or do it because you’re called to it. Anything else is a lousy reason.
 

Here are the top ten clean* reasons I became a coach:
 

1. Coaching supports my spirituality
 
2. Coaching supports my love of people
 
3. I like doing what I’m good at

4. Coaching supports my personal evolution 
5. Coaching supports my love of learning
 
6. I get to work with cool people
 
7. I get to be creative everyday
 
8. Coaching supports my personal development
 
9. I love Thomas Leonard’s work
 
10. Zero commute (Okay, this last one is just a side benefit!)

*The term, "clean" is taken from the environmentalists. Clean energy is fuel that does little or no damage to the environment. Think: wind power vs. fossil fuel. Less damage makes it less costly. A clean reason is one that eats up less of your personal energy ~ or even gives you energy. A great example is my #1 clean reason, above. If you pursue a career you hate, because you think it will make you a lot of money, that's a pretty costly reason.

I’m a happy successful coach, not because my work is easy or because I make miraculous amounts of money, but because I love what I do so much that it has become my play. 

Make a list of your own reasons for becoming a coach. If they sound anything like the ten worst reasons, either find cleaner reasons that genuinely inspire you, or find a profession that you really love.


As your father always said, “Someday you’ll thank me!”

Copyright, Julia Stewart, 2007
www.yourlifepart2.com

Topics: life coach, Coaching, become a coach, Coaches, life coach training, reasons to become a coach

Virginia Tech: A Dumb Question Might Have Saved Lives

Posted by Julia Stewart

An article in this morning's New York Times about the massacre earlier this week at Virginia Tech reminded me of the importance of not making assumptions.

The article explains that the reason campus investigators didn't lock down VT campus after the first two shootings - a move that might have saved thirty lives - is that they were following up on a lead that suggested the murderer was the boyfriend of one of the victims.

It was a good lead, or so it seemed. However, during a two-hour pause in the shootings, while investigators interrogated the boyfriend, the real murderer, Cho Seung-Hui, was chaining doors and taking other measures in preparation for more carnage.

The investigators made a reasonable choice. As Col. W. Steven Flaherty, the superintendent of the Virginia State Police, said, “There was certainly no evidence or no reason to think that there was anyone else at that particular point in time.”

And I'm not here to blame or criticize them. They did the best they could. The outcome however, is far from what anyone would have wanted.

You want smart professionals doing a job like this. Most of us try to be smart professionals in our own jobs. Nobody wants to be stupid. But a couple of dumb questions might have made an enormous difference here.

As quoted in the Times, authorities “made the right decisions based on the best information that they had available at the time.” That's what all of us do, right?

Professors and students on campus had been nervous about the killer's behavior long before he acted, but as one professor said, "little could be done."

These are smart reasonable people and they all did their best. But when reasonable choices don't get the job done, that's sometimes a sign that it's time to think differently.

And of course, it's easy to to point out what they should have done, now that we have the benefit of hindsight, but there IS a way to think differently in the moment and that's worth talking about, because it can lead to very different outcomes.

It's to refuse to make assumptions, which can sometimes lead us to unreasonable, even dumb questions like, "What if the boyfriend isn't the killer?" or "What if there is a second shooter?"

Again, I'm not here to criticize anyone. This blog is written for coaches and I'm just using this story as a powerful example of what can happen when people do the right, reasonable thing and still get awful results. It's why it's the coach's job to ask dumb questions - seriously.

I'm defining a dumb question as one that is so obvious, people may not be asking it.

I'm definitely NOT suggesting that the investigators should have hired a coach to help them. And I'm also not suggesting that they didn't think about those questions. I bet they did. But for whatever reason, at the time, those questions didn't seem reasonable. I bet they wished they'd taken them more seriously.

My heart goes out to the investigators. They are probably suffering as much as anyone over this tragedy, so I apologize if this article sounds at all harsh.

At every stage of human life, people learn to make assumptions about situations and people as a tool for survival. As human life has gotten more complex and is moving far faster though, this tool has become a big liability in many cases.

For instance, if you live in a tribal culture, making assumptions about people based on their appearance, makes sense. People who look different from members of your tribe may very well be less trustworthy towards you than members of your own group. In a pluralistic society though, judgements based on appearance can be tragic. This is an assumption that has used up its usefulness.

However, reasonable people still make assumptions everyday. I'm assuming right now, that when I click "publish", this article will be uploaded to my blog. Otherwise, I might as well quit typing.

That's why it's the coach's job to listen for assumptions that may pose problems to our clients and challenge them.

"Are we certain we have the right suspect?"

The answer to a question like this is often, "No, but..." It's our job to take a hard look at those "buts". They're the cause for the assumptions!

In this situation, the considerations may have included: "We're pretty sure we have the right guy and shutting down the campus would inconvenience a lot of people and cost a lot of money and we'll be criticized if we take action and are wrong."

That last reason is huge and it stops most of us from taking courageous action. These reasons don't hold up though, if we compare them to human lives in danger.

That's why it's so important for coaches to catch our clients when they are making fateful assumptions and be willing to ask the right question and follow up with more questions until a real solution is found. Anything less can be awful.

It's also our job not to let our clients wriggle out of looking at the truth. Fear of being wrong is powerful and most people won't look at it without someone there who gently, firmly and without judgment, holds them to it. That's when clients make huge shifts. It's also when coaches earn their fees.

Our clients don't want to be wrong and often they can't afford to look stupid. It's our job to risk being wrong, unreasonable and even dumb for their benefit. We can't be too curious, too doubtful nor too nosy. That's our job.

Sometimes the smartest thing we can do is to be dumb.

Copyright, Julia Stewart, 2007

Topics: Coaching, Coaches, coaching clients, curiosity, questions

The Consummate Coach

Posted by Julia Stewart

This is a phrase that Donna Steinhorn and I came up with the other day and I've been thinking about it ever since. It has a nice ring, but what does it mean, really? What would make a coach a consummate coach? What accomplishments would such a coach have under his/her belt?

For that matter, what would constitute an "accomplished coach"? I like both of these phrases and think they might describe useful benchmarks for those of us who are committed to excellence. You know, there's the "being" aspect if excellence, but there's the "doing" part, too. I think benchmarks are useful in measuring how we're doing.

I think Consummate Coach includes Accomplished Coach, so I'm going to throw out some ideas for what I think it might mean to be accomplished. I'm curious if you agree.

I think an Accomplished Coach probably has graduated from a coach training school. Not just a short program, but a full accredited program. They usually take about two years. 

They probably have at least one coach certification.

They're experienced. But how experienced? Maybe they've coached 100 people, like the folks who take the experienced coach program.www.experiencedcoach.com 

Or maybe we measure their experience in hours of coaching, like the ICF. Does it have to be 2500 hours? Does 500 hours make a coach accomplished?

What if it's both hours and # of people coached? 100/500?

Do they have a full practice? I think so. Or is it how much they make? Six figures (USD)?

Have they written a book? Become internationally famous? Appeared on Oprah? What other accomplishments do you think are important before you can call yourself an Accomplished Coach? What benchmarks (goals) have you currently created for yourself? Are there steps along the way?

How many of the above benchmarks have you already accomplished? Do you think of yourself as an accomplished coach?

OK, back to Consummate Coach then. What separates a Consummate Coach from a coach who is merely accomplished? I'm thinking we all can become accomplished coaches, but can we all be consummate coaches?

Perhaps Consummate Coach brings us back to the "being" state, again. It's a superlative state, but may not be as easy to measure. Perhaps we can't define it, but we know it when we see it? Hmm, I'm not sure.

What would distinguish a Consummate Coach from an Accomplished Coach? Do you know any coaches who you believe deserve to be called "consummate"? Who would they be? What do they have in common? Or are they uniquely different from one another?

That's what I want to talk in Tuesday's Confab. If you're not on the new mailing list, go to www.coachingconfab.com and register to receive announcements and bridgelines.

Copyright, Julia Stewart, 2005
www.yourlifepart2.com

Topics: Coaching, coach, Donna Steinhorn

Constructive Dissatisfaction

Posted by Julia Stewart

Hey, I'm way overdue posting to this site. My apologies! A lot has happened, though, since my last post. Donna and I hosted our first ACE Live Event in NYC, which was a great success. Plus, I moved to Missouri. (Talk about a change of venue!) 

Some things are still the same, though: like my subscription to FastCompany. In a recent article, Michael Eskew, CEO of UPS mentioned the importance of "constructive dissatisfaction" in running a successful company. He says complacency is the enemy. You have to keep thinking you can do better.

That statement really resonated with me. It's where the Confab came from. I witnessed a lot of unhappy coaches - and in a business that's supposed to help clients have successful and fulfilling lives, unhappiness in the coaches, themselves, is not a good thing.

On the other hand, pretending things are great when they're not doesn't work either. I wanted to give a voice to coaches whether they were satified or not, but I wanted the conversation to be constructive. Negativity is a dead end.

Constructive dissatisfaction is a guiding principle for me at ACE. I'm thinking that a commitment to excellence needs to include a willingness to be dissatisfied even when things are going great.

It occurs to me that this may appear to be the opposite of recognizing perfection in every situation. Actually I think it's an essential subtext: Things are perfect and they can be even better. Essential, because otherwise we run the risk of Stepford Coaching: pretending (no, requiring) that things be hunky-dory all the time. That just keeps us comfortably stuck.

A word that stood out for me at the ACE event was: uncomfortable.When we discussed what coaching excellence was and what stops us from achieving it, coaches talked a lot about having to get out of their comfort zones. Excellence can be rigorous.

For me, the commitment to excellence at ACE includes four steps:

1. Constructive dissatisfaction
2. Creative intelligence
3. Commitment to solutions
4. As much hard work as it takes

This is guaranteed to move me out of my comfort zone with regularity. Come to think of it, moving from NYC to a small town in Missouri has done that, too! 

I'm curous to hear you thoughts in tomorrow's Confab.

Copyright, Julia Stewart, 2005

Topics: Coaching, Donna Steinhorn, NYC

What Does Coaching Excellence Mean to You?

Posted by Julia Stewart

For me,
Excellence = Success.
 
Maybe it's not quite that simple, but when you take all the skills a successful coach has, from coaching skills to marketing skills, you find that the more excellent the skills, the more success the coach is likely to enjoy.
 
Yes, I know, even a mediocre coach with great marketing skills can be successful. But an excellent coach with great marketing skills will trump the mediocre coach in the long haul.
 
Too many coaches mistake getting clients with coaching success. That's only half the equation. Keeping clients is what gives us sustainable success. When a good percentage of your clients stay for years, rather than months, the time and money you need to spend on marketing is hugely reduced. And if you've got a reputation as an excellent coach, referrals will come effortlessly.
 
Getting Clients + Keeping Clients = Sustainable Success
Effortless Referrals + Keeping Clients = Less Marketing
 
See how excellence is the key to having sustainable success AND the freedom to live the great life that coaches love to talk about (even though they're working seven days a week at marketing)? Without excellence, you're stuck on that marketing merry-go-round of having to sell, Sell, SELL.
 
Phew! Wears me out to think about it!
 
Coaching excellence lives at the leading edge; the developing edge that's constantly transcending and including what has gone before, while creating what's needed now. Coaches who possess excellence are willing to move out of their comfort zones regularly in order evolve ahead of the masses. It's our job to lead.
 
That's why I'm asking what coaching excellence means to you. We're constantly creating it, so no one ever completely knows what it is. We need to keep asking.
When you think about it, every bit of information that exists in the world begins with a question.
 
Copyright, Julia Stewart, 2005

Topics: Coaching, coaching success, marketing, getting clients, coaching excellence

Jealousy With a Halo

Posted by Julia Stewart

There's a great quote by H. G. Wells that you may have heard before. I came across it again, recently:

"Moral indignation is just jealousy with a halo."

Boy, is that ever true and have I been guilty of it, sometimes! Actually, it's something that most coaches are guilty of on frequent occasions, especially when it comes to each other.

Coaches know that everyone is doing their best (Or, as they say at CTI, "Nobody gets to be wrong.") and we usually remember this when we're with our clients, but we can be a bit judgmental when it comes to other coaches.

Especially if we're feeling slighted or overlooked, while someone else is out there basking in the limelight.

Here's the phrase that I most often hear: "So-n-so is so out of integrity!" That's coach-ese for, "I'm passing judgment on this person, but I want to sound enlightened while I do it."

We're the community that believes that integrity always comes first. Unfortunately, we tend to remember that most when it comes to other coaches. What we forget is that it's our own integrity that we need to mind, not someone else's.

I have to admit that I've used this phrase, myself, so I'm not exactly guilt-free. (Ouch! I hate it when I'm flawed!)

But like most negative energy, it's easier for us to feel it when it's aimed us. When we're the ones doing the aiming, it actually feels pretty good!

That's how I became aware of the phrase, "So-n-so is so out of integrity!" because occasionally, that phrase gets aimed at me! Do you hear the moral indignation in it? When it happened I thought, "Well that's pretty judgmental!" Which, of course is just another judgment, but it gave me the opportunity to feel right, again.

I don't know about you, but I don't want to go through life wearing a "jealousy halo". The problem is that the line between discernment, which is vital and judgment, which just keeps us stuck in our egos, is so faint that we often cross it before we've realized it.

It has to be in order for us to continue going around in that fog called,I'm-right-and-they're-wrong, which clouds our reality but feels oh so comfy to our egos.

So the answer is, no doubt, to get our egos out of the way, but that's easier to say than to do.

They've been trying that in the field of psychology for decades, but have you ever noticed the number of pejorative terms that have filtered from psychology into modern usage? Terms that originally had the neutral tone of professionalism, like moron and idiot, have become common playground insults.

And then there's the ever popular, "So-n-so is so neurotic!" Yep, I've used that one, too.

And some folks have created rules that can help get the ego out of the way like, focus on the action, not on the person. In Christianity that translates into "Love the person, hate the sin." 

I think regardless of the rules and words we use, egotistical judgments can easily creep into our comments and the people we're aiming them at will notice it before we do.

Judging others comes out of feeling bad. It's a way of off-loading our bad feelings and it creates a nice little fiction for us: "I'm just fine, but So-n-so has problems!" We feel better and make up a story to support why we feel better.

So if we don't dump those feelings on others, what do we do with them?

We can acknowledge our feelings. And experience them. It feels bad to be left out, just like it feels bad to be judged. End of story.

That's discernment. It has integrity and it is enlightened.

When your true feelings have fully registered with you, they will move on. And the information that you receive from your true feelings will help you create a life you really want.

Copyright, 2005, Julia Stewart

Topics: Coaching, Coaches, judgment, integrity

Did Coaching Go Mainstream Without You?

Posted by Julia Stewart

I've been at odds with all the experts on this one for years and I read it again in Andrea Lee's book, Multiple Streams of Coaching Income,recently (which I recommend, btw).

Everybody who knows anything about coaching knows that coaching hasn't gone mainstream, yet, but when it does, it'll be really BIG. Have you heard that one?

Guess what? Coaching already went mainstream!

How do I know? For starters, I first heard about coaching on the Oprah show five years ago. Actually, I had heard of it previously, but it didn't sink in until Oprah did an entire series with Cheryl Richardson (every Tuesday, I think.) At the time, Oprah was the #1 TV show in the world (I think it still is, but I haven't looked that up). They even watch it in Saudi Arabia! That's as mainstream as it gets (and that was five years ago).

I remember telling Thomas this in an R&D class, when he asked "When do you think coaching will go mainstream?" "Coaching is already mainstream, now", I said. (I could tell he didn't believe me.) Who was I to tell Thomas anything about coaching? I was just green enough not to know any better! Sometimes it takes a neophite to notice something the experts are missing.

And every year that goes by, I get more right about this one.

In 2005, coaches aren't just guests on other people's TV shows, now they have their own shows. Rhonda Britton even has two shows on different continents!

And have you noticed how often coaching gets joked about in advertising, TV and movies? And did you know that there's an indie film out there called, Life Coach, the Movie? Did you know that thePurpose Driven Life, a run away best seller in the US, is a coaching book written by an evangelical minister?

I think coaches are resistant to this idea, because they've bought into the notion that when coaching goes mainstream, everyone will have a coach. Then, it'll be easy to get clients, right?

I think coach training schools further this notion. They train coaches. The coaches can't find clients. The coaches say, "Hey, what happened?" and the training schools say, "Just wait, when coaching goes mainstream, it'll be easy."

What if coaching went mainstream without you and you're still waiting for it to get easy?

So where are my clients then, you say? They're all around you. People want coaching. They want better lives, better careers, you name it! And some coaches are making money fast by offering people what they want.

What's my point, here? My point is that professionals (not just coaches) stop themselves from being successful, because they get too rigid an idea of how success is going to look. They keep waiting for success, their way, to show up, when success a thousand possible ways is going wanting.

I learned this as a personal trainer. Personal training is about 10 years ahead of coaching. I remember when nobody knew what it was. Some people still don't. But it hit the mainstream in the 90's. I was able to ride that wave, because I had learned that in fitness, you can't sell people what you think they need, you can only sell them what they want. 

Big distinction!

I remember sitting in the back of a Pilates studio in Manhattan, where I was picking up and extra certification. My classmates were bemoaning the above distinction like they were doomed to failure, because of it. Then I shared the secret: "Once you've got them, you can educate them." Little lightbulbs went on all over the room!

My personal training clients come to me with very specific goals. They want to fit into the jeans they wore in college, for instance. Or they want to look like they did at eighteen. I don't lie to them. I tell them I can't turn them into eighteen year olds, but they can look great at 50. They're willing to accept that as a goal. Funny thing, though. They almost always say later, "I came because I wanted to look better, but the real reward is that I feel so much better." And they stay with me. I've had one client for fifteen years!

How does this translate into coaching? I'm not suggesting you pull a bait and switch. Don't promise to double their income and expect them to be satisfied with less stress. (That could happen, but don't plan on it.) Do find out what they want and what format they want it in. Will they buy a book, a motivational CD? Will they join a group that meets in your living room every week? Will they take a work-out class where the instructor slips in a little coaching? Will they take a series of classes that includes a coaching gym?

Once you've got them you can educate them. 

What else can you do for them that they don't know about, yet? Do you know that chasing after dreams is almost never as fulfilling as living your values? People who haven't been coached, yet, don't (usually). Let them begin to learn that, while they're experiencing you in some other format. Offer to take them even further with it. Maybe that'll lead to one-to-one coaching. Maybe to another book. Who knows?

One thing is for sure. With seven billion people on the planet, you don't have time to coach them all one-to-one. Especially now that coaching has gone mainstream!

Copyright, Julia Stewart, 2005http://www.yourlifepart2.com/confab.htm

Topics: Coaching, Thomas Leonard, OPRAH, Cheryl Richardson, Andrea Lee

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