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Julia Stewart

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The Secret to Coaching Success: Servant Entrepreneurs Unite!

Posted by Julia Stewart

Thomas LeonardI've been playing with the concept of the Servant Entrepreneur, a phrase that I coined when looking for the entrepreneurial equivalent of Servant Leader (http://www.greenleaf.org/). I'll be speaking about it at a new seminar titled, THE SERVANT ENTREPRENEUR: How to Become Irresistibly Attractive to Money, Opportunities and People.

In a previous post in the Coaching Blog, I wrote that the Servant Entrepreneur was probably the only business model that will bring sustainable success to coaches.

What is the Servant Entrepreneur business model?


1. Do service for others.
2. Leverage that service (and everything else) to grow your business and create value for your clients, yourself and the world.

In that order.

Simple, huh? Maybe you're already doing it. But maybe not.

Most coaches start out with this as their purpose, more or less, but it gets lost, easily. Especially while you're getting hyped by marketing programs that tell you how to make lots of money as a coach.

Are you making lots of money, yet?

If you're not, then you may be focusing on the wrong step. Most coaches either focus on doing service and leave out the leveraging piece, or they focus on the leveraging piece and only do service as an after thought, which comes across as manipulative to savvy potential clients. Or they flip back and forth, which doesn't work, either. Do you see yourself in here?

How do you consistently do service first and leverage second and become enormously successful (like say, Oprah Winfrey or Thomas Leonard)?

I don't pretend to have all the answers and yet, I've seen it in action and it works and I've seen coaches who don't get it, even "top" coaches, crash and burn.

Here's the tricky part: The Ego and the Greater Self need to kiss and make up.

If you've done your personal development, you know what I'm talking about. (If not, get to work!)

However, most PD programs encourage you to live only from the greater self and get the ego out of the picture. The ego is what has driven humankind for tens of thousands of years. Now some folks are giving it the boot; calling it "pathological" or "dysfunctional". Maybe it's neither. Maybe the greater self is just an upgrade, like from DOS to WindowsXP.

Ego is a source of energy, expensive energy maybe, like foreign oil, but useful at least for now. The Self runs cleaner, but it can use a boost in order to get things done in the temporal world - the one where business occurs. The ego can be placed in service of the greater self and visa versa, kind of like hybrid cars use two different energy sources and produce cleaner running cars. You're probably already doing that to some degree: It feels better to come from the Self and the ego likes to feel good, so it's willing to go there, right? That's why doing service feels good.

Why not let the Self support the ego, too? Having a greater voice in the world, having the power and money to do great good - wouldn't that serve the Self? So why not let the ego succeed at the things it wants, when those things can also serve the Self? For example, why not let the ego have all the money and success that it craves - as long as it's doing service?

If you ever visited thomasleonard.com while he was still alive (You can still go there by going to www.waybackmachine.org and typing in thomasleonard.com and choose the dates that you want to look at. Currently his URL just goes to a memorial site.), you know that his tagline was, "Ego is good." Ever wonder what he meant by that? He'd already discovered that ego can place the Self in service of the world. Without it, you may as well retire to your cave and meditate for the rest of your life. Not a bad thing, but if you're an entrepreneur, it's not your thing.

Thomas made SE work.

How can you start putting SE to work for you (and the world)?

Topics: coaching success, Thomas Leonard, Servant Entrepreneur

Marketing and Sales: Nice Girls Don’t (Nice Coaches Don’t, Either)

Posted by Julia Stewart

Nice girl?If there's one thing that makes some coaches (OK, a lotta coaches, especially new ones) feel kinda squeamish, icky, or dirty; it's marketing and sales. Makes you feel like you did when those snotty, dirty boys pulled your dress up on the playground. You're not that kinda girl!

Okay, I'm being a little silly here, but if that's how you feel, it can get in the way of your success, Big Time. Unless of course, someone else is signing your clients on for you! So let's see if you can shift your perspective, here.

Gosh, where to begin with this issue? Let's look at why coaches feel this way to begin with. So what are all the reasons you've ever felt funny about selling? Please reflect on that. Make a list. Here are some I've heard about:

  • You were raised to be modest
  • You don't want to look pushy
  • You don't want to seem self-serving
  • You don't want to have an agenda
  • You don't want to be greedy

Hmm...notice the word all those phrases begin with?

YOU.

Yeah, ouch! There you go, worrying about yourself instead of focusing on the client! Oddly enough, when you're busy worrying about your modesty, you're ego is getting in your way. (And don't bother re-writing your list of reasons. Regardless of how you worded them, I can virtually guarantee that your objections to selling are ego-based, unless you honestly believe coaching is sleazy, in which case, why are you coaching?)

Your ego doesn't belong in a coaching call.

You probably already knew that, but how do you get your focus off yourself, onto the client, and still make a sale? Well, it's easy, once you get it AND until you get it, it's impossible!

Let's look at why you became a coach, in the first place. You may want to make another list. Here are some possible reasons:

  • You want to help people
  • You have a gift in this area
  • You've done a lot of work on yourself and you want to share it
  • You want to change the world

Well, these are pretty noble reasons and you may have noticed that there's a lot of "You" in there, again. But, what if you took "You" out?

  • Help people
  • Share gifts
  • Change the world

The noble stuff is still there and the phrases get more active. And your stuff is gone. If you're not in the picture, then your modesty, how you want to look and be, don't even matter anymore. The focus is off you and onto the action. Now you're ready to take action and make it all about the client.

I'm not just playing word games here; this is real.

If "you" didn't exist in a selling conversation, who would the conversation be about? The client, of course. Whose needs would matter? Whose finances, etc.? Does this person need a coach? Maybe. Do they want one for free? Probably not, because healthy, well-functioning people - the kind who make good clients - don't want handouts. They might even feel uncomfortable and say "No" if you insisted on coaching them for free. (The client, by the way, gets to show up to the session with all their ego stuff. It's you who needs to park it.)

Most clients will feel better about coaching with you if you let them pay you what coaching is worth to them. So that's the money thing.

And then there's the rejection thing. If you're worried about it, then it's your ego again. Strangely enough, clients worry about rejection, too. That's why making an invitation is so important. If you're doing a complimentary session with someone who sounds like your ideal client, park your fear of rejection and make an offer. Otherwise, you may be denying the other person a beautiful opportunity to grow and have a new life. Get yourself out of the way and find out if they're ready to take a chance. Often, all they need is an invitation from you.

Good coach marketing and selling is just clean above-board communication and relationship building.

Think about it. Part of being authentic is communicating honestly about who you are. That's integrity. If coaching is in integrity with your authentic self, then communicating about the gifts you have to offer the world as a coach, is part of your authenticity. If you're refusing to market and and unwilling to make a sale, a.k.a. communicate honestly and make invitations, then you're out of integrity. Your ego is in the way. Nobody is served.

So if you feel uncomfortable with marketing and sales, I have a tongue-in-cheek suggestion for you: Stop thinking dirty. Start taking actions that help more people experience the benefits of coaching. In other words, fill up your coaching practice!

Come on! You'll still respect yourself in the morning!

This is a theme we visit again and again in Coach 100, but especially in C100 classes #5 &6, "Successful Complimentary Sessions, Part I & II", and class #11, "I Hate to Market!"

Copyright, 2005, 2006, Julia Stewart

Photo by Skirt Girl Monica at Flickr Commons

Topics: Coach 100, marketing and sales, ego, coaching call, communication

This Prevents Coaching Success: Are You Suffering From the Kiss of Death?

Posted by Julia Stewart

death Should you get coach certification or fill your practice, first?

I get asked this question a lot by coaches that I'm mentoring, because these are two of my mentor coach specialties (the other is advanced personal development).

I'm a little mystified by this question. Why does it have to be either/or?

Most coaches aren't independantly wealthy, so getting clients quickly is important to them. On the other hand, they know that getting certified is important, too. Not so much because it's important to clients - most potential clients won't even ask if you're certified. The real reason certification helps coaches be successful is because it helps them get past feeling insecure, like frauds, like people who don't quite know what they're doing, yet.

That's the Kiss of Death for coaches who are trying to sell their coaching services!

So, the stamp of approval that certifcation brings is important to the coach, not the client.

However, coach certification can take years of hard work. How do you survive in the process? Well, fill your coachng practice, of course. But hold on! How do you fill your practice if you're still suffering from the Kiss of Death??

That's why the Coach 100 Program is designed the way that it is. To make it easy to sign on clients, even though you're new to coaching. There's something about being part of a program and having made a commitment to coach 100 people that makes it easy to ask people to help you out by letting you give them complimentary sessions. Each session you give is priceless practice for your coaching skills and your selling skills. Long before you finish coaching 100 people, you'll be excellent at both and getting clients and certifications will be a piece of cake. 

Not only that, but you'll get the Certified Experienced Coach designation, too. With 100 clients under your belt, you'll have strong skills and certification, too. No more Kiss of Death!

Hmm, Kiss of Death or Piece of Cake? That's an easy one.

If you don't know the Coach 100 techniques to invite people to complimentary sessions, take Coach 100 classes #1 through #4. (a.k.a. C100 Module 1)

Find out more about the Coach 100 Business Success Program.

Topics: coaching business, coach training, Coach 100, coaching clients, Coaching 100, coaching success, Coach Certification, certified coach

The Consummate Coach

Posted by Julia Stewart

This is a phrase that Donna Steinhorn and I came up with the other day and I've been thinking about it ever since. It has a nice ring, but what does it mean, really? What would make a coach a consummate coach? What accomplishments would such a coach have under his/her belt?

For that matter, what would constitute an "accomplished coach"? I like both of these phrases and think they might describe useful benchmarks for those of us who are committed to excellence. You know, there's the "being" aspect if excellence, but there's the "doing" part, too. I think benchmarks are useful in measuring how we're doing.

I think Consummate Coach includes Accomplished Coach, so I'm going to throw out some ideas for what I think it might mean to be accomplished. I'm curious if you agree.

I think an Accomplished Coach probably has graduated from a coach training school. Not just a short program, but a full accredited program. They usually take about two years. 

They probably have at least one coach certification.

They're experienced. But how experienced? Maybe they've coached 100 people, like the folks who take the experienced coach program.www.experiencedcoach.com 

Or maybe we measure their experience in hours of coaching, like the ICF. Does it have to be 2500 hours? Does 500 hours make a coach accomplished?

What if it's both hours and # of people coached? 100/500?

Do they have a full practice? I think so. Or is it how much they make? Six figures (USD)?

Have they written a book? Become internationally famous? Appeared on Oprah? What other accomplishments do you think are important before you can call yourself an Accomplished Coach? What benchmarks (goals) have you currently created for yourself? Are there steps along the way?

How many of the above benchmarks have you already accomplished? Do you think of yourself as an accomplished coach?

OK, back to Consummate Coach then. What separates a Consummate Coach from a coach who is merely accomplished? I'm thinking we all can become accomplished coaches, but can we all be consummate coaches?

Perhaps Consummate Coach brings us back to the "being" state, again. It's a superlative state, but may not be as easy to measure. Perhaps we can't define it, but we know it when we see it? Hmm, I'm not sure.

What would distinguish a Consummate Coach from an Accomplished Coach? Do you know any coaches who you believe deserve to be called "consummate"? Who would they be? What do they have in common? Or are they uniquely different from one another?

That's what I want to talk in Tuesday's Confab. If you're not on the new mailing list, go to www.coachingconfab.com and register to receive announcements and bridgelines.

Copyright, Julia Stewart, 2005
www.yourlifepart2.com

Topics: Coaching, coach, Donna Steinhorn

Constructive Dissatisfaction

Posted by Julia Stewart

Hey, I'm way overdue posting to this site. My apologies! A lot has happened, though, since my last post. Donna and I hosted our first ACE Live Event in NYC, which was a great success. Plus, I moved to Missouri. (Talk about a change of venue!) 

Some things are still the same, though: like my subscription to FastCompany. In a recent article, Michael Eskew, CEO of UPS mentioned the importance of "constructive dissatisfaction" in running a successful company. He says complacency is the enemy. You have to keep thinking you can do better.

That statement really resonated with me. It's where the Confab came from. I witnessed a lot of unhappy coaches - and in a business that's supposed to help clients have successful and fulfilling lives, unhappiness in the coaches, themselves, is not a good thing.

On the other hand, pretending things are great when they're not doesn't work either. I wanted to give a voice to coaches whether they were satified or not, but I wanted the conversation to be constructive. Negativity is a dead end.

Constructive dissatisfaction is a guiding principle for me at ACE. I'm thinking that a commitment to excellence needs to include a willingness to be dissatisfied even when things are going great.

It occurs to me that this may appear to be the opposite of recognizing perfection in every situation. Actually I think it's an essential subtext: Things are perfect and they can be even better. Essential, because otherwise we run the risk of Stepford Coaching: pretending (no, requiring) that things be hunky-dory all the time. That just keeps us comfortably stuck.

A word that stood out for me at the ACE event was: uncomfortable.When we discussed what coaching excellence was and what stops us from achieving it, coaches talked a lot about having to get out of their comfort zones. Excellence can be rigorous.

For me, the commitment to excellence at ACE includes four steps:

1. Constructive dissatisfaction
2. Creative intelligence
3. Commitment to solutions
4. As much hard work as it takes

This is guaranteed to move me out of my comfort zone with regularity. Come to think of it, moving from NYC to a small town in Missouri has done that, too! 

I'm curous to hear you thoughts in tomorrow's Confab.

Copyright, Julia Stewart, 2005

Topics: Coaching, Donna Steinhorn, NYC

What Does Coaching Excellence Mean to You?

Posted by Julia Stewart

For me,
Excellence = Success.
 
Maybe it's not quite that simple, but when you take all the skills a successful coach has, from coaching skills to marketing skills, you find that the more excellent the skills, the more success the coach is likely to enjoy.
 
Yes, I know, even a mediocre coach with great marketing skills can be successful. But an excellent coach with great marketing skills will trump the mediocre coach in the long haul.
 
Too many coaches mistake getting clients with coaching success. That's only half the equation. Keeping clients is what gives us sustainable success. When a good percentage of your clients stay for years, rather than months, the time and money you need to spend on marketing is hugely reduced. And if you've got a reputation as an excellent coach, referrals will come effortlessly.
 
Getting Clients + Keeping Clients = Sustainable Success
Effortless Referrals + Keeping Clients = Less Marketing
 
See how excellence is the key to having sustainable success AND the freedom to live the great life that coaches love to talk about (even though they're working seven days a week at marketing)? Without excellence, you're stuck on that marketing merry-go-round of having to sell, Sell, SELL.
 
Phew! Wears me out to think about it!
 
Coaching excellence lives at the leading edge; the developing edge that's constantly transcending and including what has gone before, while creating what's needed now. Coaches who possess excellence are willing to move out of their comfort zones regularly in order evolve ahead of the masses. It's our job to lead.
 
That's why I'm asking what coaching excellence means to you. We're constantly creating it, so no one ever completely knows what it is. We need to keep asking.
When you think about it, every bit of information that exists in the world begins with a question.
 
Copyright, Julia Stewart, 2005

Topics: Coaching, coaching success, marketing, getting clients, coaching excellence

The Biology of Success

Posted by Julia Stewart

Here are a few thoughts on who become successful coaches and who don't. There doesn't seem to be a formula. We all do it differently, just as we all define success differently. 

The real difference may lie in our relationship to success. In fact, intriguingly, the difference may be biological AND your environment influences it!

Research shows that both humans and animals conserve their energy according to their life conditions. If resources are short, many animals go into hibernation. If they're losing in the pecking order wars, they become more docile, resigned to their lot.

Meanwhile, animals who experience an abundance of resources or who have experienced some success, when competing with their peers, become more energetic and assertive. Their bodies are flooded by hormones that literally change their brains!

This is Neo-Darwinism, how the fittest survive. Turns out that the term, "fittest" is relative.

This happens among humans, too. It has its negative side in politics when revolutionaries become the new oppressors, but there are positive results, too.

One positive example might be the exuberance of Thomas Leonard. As his success grew, he became progressively more productive.

Here's another possible downside. I think many coaches, as they try to grow their businesses, become overwhelmed, then discouraged, then resigned. That process literally and biologically reduces the energy available to them to do whatever it takes to become successful on their own terms.

Those coaches who maintain a high level of focus, encouragement and optimism, also maintain the hormonal levels that give them the energy they need to keep going while they grow their businesses.

What makes the difference? Well, since we're human, we canchoose to create the difference.

Here's how your environment can help. You can design it so that it's full of people who can give you this kind of energy, by giving you a sense of abundance and accomplishment, who can help you access the abundance of resources available to all coaches and who will champion you and challenge you to keep going.

You can see where I'm going with this: Make sure you're getting great coaching. Coaching businesses are extremely difficult to build and yet, many coaches, who are no better equipped than you are successful. Give yourself the environment that you need.

You become who you hang out with. Hang out with people who are successful. Get coached by a genuinely successful coach, who knows how to get there. Keep your day job, so you don't fall into scarcity thinking. You get the idea.

I heard Thomas say, at a Certified Coach Intensive, that not every coach would be able to have a full practice. I also heard attributed to him, at Coach U, a draconian formula: Ten in, one out. Meaning, of every ten people who entered Coach U, only one became a real coach.

I think coach training and mentoring have improved since then and that the odds are getting better. In the meantime, though, I recommend that you decide to be one of the coaches who makes it.

Commit yourself to success; do what it takes to surround yourself with an environment that will evolve you into a successful coach!

My students and mentees know how much I emphasize championing as a mark of an excellent coach. (And still most of you don't champion enough!) Great coaches literally help clients transform into successful people.

Copyright, 2005, Julia Stewart

Jealousy With a Halo

Posted by Julia Stewart

There's a great quote by H. G. Wells that you may have heard before. I came across it again, recently:

"Moral indignation is just jealousy with a halo."

Boy, is that ever true and have I been guilty of it, sometimes! Actually, it's something that most coaches are guilty of on frequent occasions, especially when it comes to each other.

Coaches know that everyone is doing their best (Or, as they say at CTI, "Nobody gets to be wrong.") and we usually remember this when we're with our clients, but we can be a bit judgmental when it comes to other coaches.

Especially if we're feeling slighted or overlooked, while someone else is out there basking in the limelight.

Here's the phrase that I most often hear: "So-n-so is so out of integrity!" That's coach-ese for, "I'm passing judgment on this person, but I want to sound enlightened while I do it."

We're the community that believes that integrity always comes first. Unfortunately, we tend to remember that most when it comes to other coaches. What we forget is that it's our own integrity that we need to mind, not someone else's.

I have to admit that I've used this phrase, myself, so I'm not exactly guilt-free. (Ouch! I hate it when I'm flawed!)

But like most negative energy, it's easier for us to feel it when it's aimed us. When we're the ones doing the aiming, it actually feels pretty good!

That's how I became aware of the phrase, "So-n-so is so out of integrity!" because occasionally, that phrase gets aimed at me! Do you hear the moral indignation in it? When it happened I thought, "Well that's pretty judgmental!" Which, of course is just another judgment, but it gave me the opportunity to feel right, again.

I don't know about you, but I don't want to go through life wearing a "jealousy halo". The problem is that the line between discernment, which is vital and judgment, which just keeps us stuck in our egos, is so faint that we often cross it before we've realized it.

It has to be in order for us to continue going around in that fog called,I'm-right-and-they're-wrong, which clouds our reality but feels oh so comfy to our egos.

So the answer is, no doubt, to get our egos out of the way, but that's easier to say than to do.

They've been trying that in the field of psychology for decades, but have you ever noticed the number of pejorative terms that have filtered from psychology into modern usage? Terms that originally had the neutral tone of professionalism, like moron and idiot, have become common playground insults.

And then there's the ever popular, "So-n-so is so neurotic!" Yep, I've used that one, too.

And some folks have created rules that can help get the ego out of the way like, focus on the action, not on the person. In Christianity that translates into "Love the person, hate the sin." 

I think regardless of the rules and words we use, egotistical judgments can easily creep into our comments and the people we're aiming them at will notice it before we do.

Judging others comes out of feeling bad. It's a way of off-loading our bad feelings and it creates a nice little fiction for us: "I'm just fine, but So-n-so has problems!" We feel better and make up a story to support why we feel better.

So if we don't dump those feelings on others, what do we do with them?

We can acknowledge our feelings. And experience them. It feels bad to be left out, just like it feels bad to be judged. End of story.

That's discernment. It has integrity and it is enlightened.

When your true feelings have fully registered with you, they will move on. And the information that you receive from your true feelings will help you create a life you really want.

Copyright, 2005, Julia Stewart

Topics: Coaching, Coaches, judgment, integrity

Servant Entrepreneur

Posted by Julia Stewart

We need a new definition of entrepreneurship: The Servant Entrepreneur, someone who always places service above profits. Like the Servant Leader, this is someone who is not in it for the perqs, but for the honor of doing service. Not for the ego rush, but the fulfillment of purpose.

When I say, "someone who always places service above profits", I don't mean that the Servant Entrepreneur is any less savvy as a business person; He/she's still and entrepreneur. But service is first.

Thomas Leonard was a Servant Entrepreneur (He also had a big ego that sometimes got in the way, so there's hope for us all!) Thomas doubled the value of Coach U every year without raising the price. He added value to Coachville members for the sheer joy of it - and he made a small fortune!

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that the Servant Entrepreneur may be the only business model that will deliver high-quality coaching and a profitable business, at the same time.

How can we become Servant Entrepreneurs? I believe it takes discipline to do it consistently. It may not always feel good. It may mean forgoing the intoxicating moments for the joy of fulfillment. And that means knowing the difference between the two, becoming aware of how each feels to you.

For me, spiritual fulfillment is a subtle inner knowingness, a joy that connects me to the whole world. Intoxication is that excited little buzz I feel that causes me to check my email at 7 AM on a Sunday morning!

Becoming a Servant Entrepreneur also may require asking yourself throughout your day, "What is motivating you? Who's in charge, your ego or your Self?" And not judging, if it's your ego, but choosing to put your ego in service of the world. This may mean shifting the way you think about your projects away from money-generating products toward value-generating products.

Instead of asking ourselves, "What do I want to do?", we may want to ask, "What does the world want or need that I'm excited to give?"

I believe that this discipline requires that we do not try to go it alone. Precisely because it is so easy to slip into ego-based desire without even knowing it. We need mentors who have mastered this (I'm not sure any have) or friends who are closely aligned with this value to hold us accountable, or spiritual teachers who know us very well.

We need to practice Servant Entrepreneurship, not just light a candle and hope for the best!

This is a big shift for most of us to make. Subtle but big. I'm attempting to orient myself around it, as an operating system. Please let me know if you think I'm missing the mark.

Copyright, Julia Stewart, 2005

Topics: Thomas Leonard, Servant Entrepreneur, Mattison Grey

Did Coaching Go Mainstream Without You?

Posted by Julia Stewart

I've been at odds with all the experts on this one for years and I read it again in Andrea Lee's book, Multiple Streams of Coaching Income,recently (which I recommend, btw).

Everybody who knows anything about coaching knows that coaching hasn't gone mainstream, yet, but when it does, it'll be really BIG. Have you heard that one?

Guess what? Coaching already went mainstream!

How do I know? For starters, I first heard about coaching on the Oprah show five years ago. Actually, I had heard of it previously, but it didn't sink in until Oprah did an entire series with Cheryl Richardson (every Tuesday, I think.) At the time, Oprah was the #1 TV show in the world (I think it still is, but I haven't looked that up). They even watch it in Saudi Arabia! That's as mainstream as it gets (and that was five years ago).

I remember telling Thomas this in an R&D class, when he asked "When do you think coaching will go mainstream?" "Coaching is already mainstream, now", I said. (I could tell he didn't believe me.) Who was I to tell Thomas anything about coaching? I was just green enough not to know any better! Sometimes it takes a neophite to notice something the experts are missing.

And every year that goes by, I get more right about this one.

In 2005, coaches aren't just guests on other people's TV shows, now they have their own shows. Rhonda Britton even has two shows on different continents!

And have you noticed how often coaching gets joked about in advertising, TV and movies? And did you know that there's an indie film out there called, Life Coach, the Movie? Did you know that thePurpose Driven Life, a run away best seller in the US, is a coaching book written by an evangelical minister?

I think coaches are resistant to this idea, because they've bought into the notion that when coaching goes mainstream, everyone will have a coach. Then, it'll be easy to get clients, right?

I think coach training schools further this notion. They train coaches. The coaches can't find clients. The coaches say, "Hey, what happened?" and the training schools say, "Just wait, when coaching goes mainstream, it'll be easy."

What if coaching went mainstream without you and you're still waiting for it to get easy?

So where are my clients then, you say? They're all around you. People want coaching. They want better lives, better careers, you name it! And some coaches are making money fast by offering people what they want.

What's my point, here? My point is that professionals (not just coaches) stop themselves from being successful, because they get too rigid an idea of how success is going to look. They keep waiting for success, their way, to show up, when success a thousand possible ways is going wanting.

I learned this as a personal trainer. Personal training is about 10 years ahead of coaching. I remember when nobody knew what it was. Some people still don't. But it hit the mainstream in the 90's. I was able to ride that wave, because I had learned that in fitness, you can't sell people what you think they need, you can only sell them what they want. 

Big distinction!

I remember sitting in the back of a Pilates studio in Manhattan, where I was picking up and extra certification. My classmates were bemoaning the above distinction like they were doomed to failure, because of it. Then I shared the secret: "Once you've got them, you can educate them." Little lightbulbs went on all over the room!

My personal training clients come to me with very specific goals. They want to fit into the jeans they wore in college, for instance. Or they want to look like they did at eighteen. I don't lie to them. I tell them I can't turn them into eighteen year olds, but they can look great at 50. They're willing to accept that as a goal. Funny thing, though. They almost always say later, "I came because I wanted to look better, but the real reward is that I feel so much better." And they stay with me. I've had one client for fifteen years!

How does this translate into coaching? I'm not suggesting you pull a bait and switch. Don't promise to double their income and expect them to be satisfied with less stress. (That could happen, but don't plan on it.) Do find out what they want and what format they want it in. Will they buy a book, a motivational CD? Will they join a group that meets in your living room every week? Will they take a work-out class where the instructor slips in a little coaching? Will they take a series of classes that includes a coaching gym?

Once you've got them you can educate them. 

What else can you do for them that they don't know about, yet? Do you know that chasing after dreams is almost never as fulfilling as living your values? People who haven't been coached, yet, don't (usually). Let them begin to learn that, while they're experiencing you in some other format. Offer to take them even further with it. Maybe that'll lead to one-to-one coaching. Maybe to another book. Who knows?

One thing is for sure. With seven billion people on the planet, you don't have time to coach them all one-to-one. Especially now that coaching has gone mainstream!

Copyright, Julia Stewart, 2005http://www.yourlifepart2.com/confab.htm

Topics: Coaching, Thomas Leonard, OPRAH, Cheryl Richardson, Andrea Lee

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