Empaths, also known as Highly Sensitive People, often have problems with Abusive Narcissists.
If you are a coach, you have a high likelihood of being an HSP. Find out here if you have this genetic trait. If you are an HSP, and you've ever had problems with difficult, or even dangerous people, you most likely were dealing with people who have narcissistic issues.
Is any of the following familiar to you?
Relationships with narcissists usually start out great but almost always turn sour. Their common relationship pattern is to idealize, then demean, then discard people. Sometimes they repeat the pattern over and over with the same person. Other times they stay stuck on the demean stage for years. That can ruin their target's self-esteem.
They are the office mate who always needs a favor, takes advantage of your kindness, then steals your ideas. Or the romantic partner who goes to great lengths to woo you, but once you've fallen in love, starts cheating on you, right away. Or they are the "best friend" who steals your job or your spouse. Ouch.
You may have wondered what you did wrong in these instances, but HSP is a normal trait that seems to attract abnormal people. If you're an HSP, or have had problems with a narcissist, or if you are a coach with clients who have had these problems, read on for how to handle these vexing issues and live happier...
Most information available about this topic is geared toward self-defense for Empaths/HSPs because narcissistic behavior is so common.
That's good and necessary. But great coaching focuses on solving problems at their source so they never come back. And that got me thinking...
- What if you were impervious to narcissists?
- What would that look like?
- How could you do it?
- What if you could recognize narcissists before they notice you?
- What if you stopped attracting narcissists, at all?
- How could you do this using your HSP strengths?
- What if you became unattractive to narcissists?
- Would that make you less attractive to everyone?
- What if you kept your empathy and compassion but couldn't be manipulated with it?
- What if you stopped rewarding narcissists for their abusive behavior?
- How might the world become a better place because you grew into a better version of you?
Those last few items are ultimately the most powerful.
These questions sent me on a journey of research into both narcissism and HSPs/Empaths. That brought me to Narcissistic Abuse, which I have personally experienced (probably you have, too). I've read a ton of research and also books by therapists who specialize in HSPs or Narcissistic Abuse but it's almost impossible to find anything on these topics written from a coaching perspective of creating solutions vs. healing problems after the damage has been done.
One of my gifts is making connections between bits of information I get from various sources. This leads to insights which lead to new approaches. Which lead to new learning modules because I like to help others by sharing what I've discovered. This is one of those topics.
HSPs are virtually the opposite of narcissists. At the other end of the sensitivity spectrum are those who are very insensitive. They are more prone to disorders on the narcissistic side, such as psychopathy and conduct disorders. They tend to regulate themselves with the emotions of others and therein lies the key.
The best way to share the details of this discovery is in a class, so I've created an in-depth class that meets on June 7th.
It's free. In it, I will share with you details on how HSPs attract narcissists and how to stop. I'll also share resources and the research behind these ideas, so you can continue your learning. Armed with some knowledge and a positive environment, you can hone your strengths and believe in yourself. That's freedom.
It could dramatically reduce the amount of pain you experience in your lifetime. As an HSP, negative experiences have a greater chance of causing you to languish. While positive experiences have a greater likelihood of helping you flourish.
So it matters a lot.
From a big picture perspective, helping HSPs avoid the Narcissism Trap can help change the world for the better. Because Narcissists are responsible for much of what ails the world.
You can flourish in a narcissistic world as an HSP. You can also help the world become a little less narcissistic and that's good for everyone.
Will you join me? Register for this free one-hour class now: