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Positive Psychology Coaching: How to Use Negativity to Improve Coaching Outcomes

Posted by Julia Stewart

Leadership Coaching Emotional Intelligence

Every positive psychology coach understands the importance of positivity, but the great ones know how negativity can boost coaching outcomes, amazingly.

If you've been reading this blog (subscribe upper right), you know about positivity theory and the positivity ratio (Fredrickson, 2006). The research is clear: Positivity changes lives and delivers wellbeing. But that's not all. People who experience at least three times as much positivity as negativity aren't just happier, they're more successful, more generous, healthier, and have more harmonious relationships. Who doesn't want more of all that?

So how can negativity help?

Here's a story: I once knew a coach, let's call her Wanda, who was new to positive psychology coaching. One of Wanda's first clients was a mid-level manager at a toy company, who wanted to move up the company ladder. Wanda coached him with loads of positivity and he accomplished one step after another toward his goal, until they were both certain he was on the brink of success. Then he got fired. Yep, fired.

How'd that happen? Wanda's client had some inter-personal issues he wasn't aware of. Wanda noticed them during coaching sessions, but didn't want to focus on the negative, so she never brought them up. Too bad. Those issues got on his boss's nerves, disrupted the whole department, and even made his team less productive. One person can cause a workplace to spiral so deeply into negativity, that the whole company suffers. That's toxic.

Positive thinking can't magically fix a toxic situation unless the toxicity is fully addressed. That means you need to deal with the negativity.

Remember that positivity ratio of three to one?

Another way of saying it is 75% positivity to 25% negativity is the gateway to flourishing. You can go higher, say, 90% positivity, but much beyond that and you and your clients will tip into a multitude of unnecessary problems.

What sorts of problems?

  • Obliviousness. Negativity wakes us up when something is wrong (Boyatzis, 2011), but incessent positivity lets us waltz straight into our worst nightmares, just like Wanda's client did.
  • Missed details. Positivity broadens our awareness, but negativity narrows our focus on what needs to be done (Boyatzis, 2011). Details matter.
  • Complacency. People who are constantly positive sometimes coast when they need to work. For example: Children who are told they need to work, make better grades than children who are told they are smart, because the "smart" kids often don't try as hard (Dweck, 2006).

How can negativity help?

  • Resilience. Negativity toughens us up and helps us develop grit. People who persevere through difficulties, are more likely to succeed (Duckworth, 2016).
  • Needs satisfaction. Negativity is designed to drive us toward getting our needs met, so we can survive. While positivity is more useful at helping us reach for growth and ideals (Boyatizis, 2011). Interpersonal problems often arise from unmet needs (Maslow, 1962).
  • Survival comes before growth. We need to reach a critical mass when satisfying our needs before we can effectively focus on growth (Maslow, 1962).

How could Wanda have succeeded better with her client?

  • Be a coach who is naturally positive, but never steps over concerns.
  • Help the client get their needs met, sustainably.
  • Ask the client challenging questions, the ones they're afraid to ask themselves (and the ones nobody else will mention).
  • Help the client bring positivity into their relationships. Train them to ask more, listen more, and look for what's working before focusing on what's not, unless it's an emergency.
  • Be honest. Holding back your observations is never fair to your clients.
  • Help the client grow beyond their immediate goals. Once needs are met, growth becomes available and that's what propels clients into amazing success.

These are just a few ways Wanda could have upgraded the value of her positive psychology coaching, immensely.

Imagine what her hard-working client could have accomplished if he had adjusted his relationship skills in time to win the promotion he passionately desired.

This focus on the importance of negativity is sometimes called the second wave in positive psychology, but it isn't new. Emotional intelligence has always studied the entire gamut of emotions to help people be more successful in their relationships and work. That's especially important for leaders, because they influence all the people they lead. But let's be clear: Everybody is a leader sometime and humans, who are the most social of animals, all need emotional intelligence to navigate harmonious relationships.

That's why School of Coaching Mastery is launching its exciting Master Certified Positive Psychology Coach program with an advanced course on Emotional Intelligence and Leadership Coaching

This is what's next for professional coaching, in general, and positive psychology coaching, specifically.

Learn more about becoming a positive psychology coach. Get the free eBook:

Free Become a Positive Psychology Coach eBook

Topics: ICF, Certified Positive Psychology Coach, Coaching Certificate, positive psychology coaching, advanced coach training, emotional intelligence, positivity

101 Incredible Coaching Questions

Posted by Julia Stewart

Coaching Questions

Every new coach wants to know…what are THE coaching questions??

So here they are: Powerful Questions, Open-ended Questions, Curious Questions, Clarifying Questions, Possibility Questions, Golden Questions. Do you know the difference? When and how could you use them?

Truth is, there are at least 100,000 great coaching questions and it won’t be long before there are millions. Coaching questions are kind of like iPhone Apps; a few years ago they didn’t exist. Now everybody’s creating them!

Here’s the real secret: it’s how you set up your coaching questions and then how you follow up that creates much of the magic in coaching. These questions in the hands of a novice may not have the same punch as they do when used by a master coach.

But you can get incredible mileage from these awesome coaching questions, right out of the box...

Print out this post and keep it with you when you coach. Notice what happens when you ask these powerful questions. If you don’t get fantastic results, work on your delivery. Here are the questions...

 

Thinking about becoming a coach? Get the FREE Become a Coach eBook here.

 

  1. I’m curious; may I ask you a few questions?
  2. What’s great about your life this week?
  3. How have you grown this week?
  4. What did you accomplish this week?
  5. Who did you serve?
  6. What did you learn?
  7. Who else will benefit?
  8. What are you grateful for?
  9. Who’s grateful for you?
  10. Is this what you want to be coached on or are you just sharing?
  11. What could you be happy about if you chose to be?
  12. Are you using this to grow or are you beating yourself up?
  13. Does this story empower you or disempower you?
  14. How can you turn this around and have better results next time?
  15. On a scale of 1 – 10 how honest have you been about this, with others?
  16. Do you mind if I offer an observation?
  17. Is this the problem or the solution?
  18. How would you like it to be?
  19. What’s in the way?
  20. What’s stopping you?
  21. What does this mean to you?
  22. Are you focused on what’s wrong or what’s right?
  23. Is that a story or the truth?
  24. How can you find out?
  25. Do you want this for its own sake or are you trying to avoid something else?
  26. Is this giving you energy or draining your energy?
  27. What will really make the biggest difference here?
  28. Is this a limitation or is it a strength?
  29. What’s the benefit of this problem?
  30. Who else is this hurting?
  31. What does your intuition tell you about this?
  32. Do you have a gut feeling about this?
  33. Have you solved problems like this before?
  34. What rules do you have that are getting in the way?
  35. How long have you been thinking about this?
  36. Have you ever experienced something like this before?
  37. If you changed your belief about this, what would be possible?
  38. Is this a decision or a pipe dream?
  39. Which of your core values does this goal express?
  40. Is this goal pulling you forward or are you struggling to reach it?
  41. Will this choice move you forward or keep you stuck?
  42. What’s the first step you need to take to reach your goal?
  43. What’s the worst that can happen, and can you handle that?
  44. What’s the downside of your dream?
  45. What’s stopping you from taking action?
  46. Who wouldn’t like it if you succeeded?
  47. What will you have to give up in order to make room for your goals?
  48. How would your life be transformed if you changed this right now?
  49. If you don’t change this, what will it cost you in the long run?
  50. What’s the most resourceful choice here?
  51. How can you improve this, so it adds value forever?
  52. How can you solve this problem so it never comes back?
  53. Are you acting on faith or fear?
  54. If you weren’t scared, what would you do?
  55. Are you standing in your power or pleasing someone else?
  56. What are you pretending not to know?
  57. How could you have this conversation so it empowers everyone concerned?
  58. What might make the difference that could change everything?
  59. If you approached this with courage, how could your life change?
  60. Are you procrastinating or is there a reason to delay?
  61. What’s the emotional cost vs. the financial cost?
  62. Which step could you take that would make the biggest difference, right now?
  63. How can you get your needs fully met?
  64. If your life were exclusively oriented around your values, what would that be like?
  65. How would you describe the difference between a need and a value?
  66. If you achieve this goal, will it bring lasting fulfillment or temporary pleasure?
  67. Have you thought about the impact you’ll have by creating this?
  68. How can you learn from this problem so it never happens again?
  69. How can you create more value with less effort?
  70. What are you willing to do to improve this situation?
  71. What are you willing to stop doing to improve this situation?
  72. How can you enjoy the process of solving this problem?
  73. Do you mind if I ask a very personal question?
  74. What are you willing to commit to here?
  75. Do you need to work harder or delegate this?
  76. If this weakness were also a strength, what would that be?
  77. How can you use this so it becomes a benefit?
  78. Have you decided to take action or are you just hoping you will?
  79. Are you angry or are you hurt?
  80. Who can help you with this?
  81. Does your current habitat fully support who you’re becoming?
  82. What do you need in order to succeed here?
  83. What plan do you need in order to achieve your new goals?
  84. Are your personal standards high enough to reach your goals?
  85. What will your impact be 100 years from now?
  86. Who do you need to become in order to succeed here?
  87. What are you responsible for here?
  88. Instead of either/or, how could you use both?
  89. Are you approaching this from your head or from your heart?
  90. Is this an assumption or have you checked to be sure?
  91. How can you learn what you need to know about this?
  92. Is this the best outcome you can imagine or is there something greater?
  93. Do you have a detailed strategy to get there?
  94. How will you transform your life with this new knowledge?
  95. What does this accomplishment mean to you?
  96. Why does it matter?
  97. Who did you have to become to achieve it?
  98. What did you learn in the process?
  99. Who else will benefit?
  100. What’s next for you?
  101. How have you changed the world for generations to come?

 

Love positive psychology? Get the FREE Become a Positive Psychology Coach eBook.

 

Print out this list of questions and post them next to your coaching desk. With practice, incredible coaching questions will occur to you spontaneously, your clients will have amazing insights, and you will easily earn the big bucks that life, business, and executive coaches charge.

Got some great coaching questions of your own? Please share them below in the comments section.

Want to know how to ask incredible coaching questions? Check out this free infographic.

 

Want to be a certified coach in just 8 weeks? Join the Certified Competent Coach course.

 

 

Topics: business coach, life coach, Coaching, coaching school, Business Coaches, coaching questions, master coach, goals, Life Coaching, life coach training, Ultimate Coach Training

Professional Coaching Today: World's Largest Coaching Survey (Video)

Posted by Julia Stewart

Last week , I posted an article about The Future of Coaching: How the Internet is Causing the Rise of Coaching.

It shows how changes in technology are driving the demand of professional Coaching. So I thought you might be interested in where coaching is, right now, according to the 2016 Global Coaching Survey by the International Coach Federation (ICF). It's the largest coaching survey to date.

Watch this awesome 4-minute video on Professional Coaching Today from the ICF:

Professional Coaching Today from ICF Headquarters.

 

Become a Professional Coach and Get Your Certified Competent Coach Credential in just 8 Weeks (and receive 16 ICF approved coach training hours):

Become a Certified Competent Coach Quickly

 

 

Topics: professional coaching, ICF, future of coaching, video, international coach federation, coaching survey

Future of Coaching: How the Internet is Causing the Rise of Coaching

Posted by Julia Stewart

Future of Coaching

Have you ever wondered why coaching has exploded worldwide over the past 20 years?

There are plenty of theories about the rise of coaching. For instance, I often point out to my students that coaching emerged just as positive psychology research skyrocketed and discoveries about neuroplasticity became known, because great coaching used ideas from both, particularly ideas about human potential.

Others have suggested that a century of psychotherapy got people healthy enough to want to, and be able to, continue growing so coaching emerged to help with that. Still others draw wisdom from the great Twentieth Century psychologist, Abraham Maslow, among others, and point out that people are evolving, which is different from healing, and they are  ready  to self-actualize, because their survival needs have been met.

These theories have merit, but I offer a radically different perspective that may matter most in coaching's origins and even more so in its future.

You see, coaching began developing into a profession during yet another explosion, that of personal computers, software, and the World Wide Web. We all know those technological advances changed our lives by making jobs that previously were tedious, time-consuming, expensive, difficult, or even impossible, easy. Plus, they connected us to other people, worldwide. But just as every solution unveils new problems, computers, software, the internet, a.k.a. technology, are releasing an overwhelming number of problems and pressures.

One such problem/opportunity is the constant acceleration of technological innovation, a.k.a. hypercomplexity.

The pace of expansion is overwhelming. Some of us are taking it in stride, but many are struggling. Let me give an example of positive adjustment:

  1. In the 1970s, I was exposed to computers, software, and eventually the internet, via school and work.
  2. But as a self-described techno-phobe, it wasn't until 1999 that I decided to buy an internet-ready laptop for home use and began surfing and emailing, like everybody else.
  3. Within two years, in 2001, I joined a web-based coach training school and became a coach.
  4. By 2002, I had a listing in an online coach directory. I'd gone from consuming the online economy to participating.
  5. In 2003, I launched my first web site.
  6. In 2004, I began launching additional web sites.
  7. In 2005, I launched my first blog and began learning to make online graphics. I also moved my business from one part of the country to another, but kept all my coaching clients, because we were already connecting and coaching via technology.
  8. In 2006, I spent months running my business, while traveling, with just a cell phone and a laptop, as my office. This is also when I started using social media in earnest.
  9. In 2007, I launched an online coach-training school. I also learned the meaning of the phrase, "cloud computing" and realized I'd been doing it for years.
  10. In 2008, I switched from coach training via teleclasses, to teaching via live interactive webinars, because the technology was finally better than telephone conferencing.
  11. In 2009, I decided to stop dabbling and master online content marketing and my school started taking off.

In one decade, starting with the purchase of that first laptop and joining AOL, I completely changed my life and work. Today, SchoolofCoachingMastery.com is one of the most competitive coaching web sites, worldwide, and the blog you're reading gets more than 20,000 views every month. All this, from a self-described techno-phobe.

It was possible, because technology simplified what was formerly difficult. Granted, to fully adapt and thrive in this rapidly-progressing technological environment, one must be open to the new, but as someone who did not adjust easily to technology, I needed more than just internet access in order to succeed.

Something else made it possible.

Best-selling author, Tom Friedman, says software makes complexity invisible by designing algorithms that take hundreds of  complex and difficult steps, while you make a few taps or swipes. By making complexity invisible, we're able to do far more than imaginable in 1999. But technology is also helping us create a world that is too complex for us to comprehend and that world transforms again and again before we can adjust to it. That is awesome, but it can be unbearably hard for us.

That's where coaching comes in. Coaching does for your life what software, apps, and other techno devices do for your productivity, only it turns "making complexity invisible" upside down.

Coaching reveals simplicity.

Remember, hypercomplexity means we're living in an incomprehensively intricate world that is ever accelerating. Anything that simplifies that in a meaningful way, without detracting from what matters, is a Godsend. Hence, the rise of coaching.

Coaching exists, in large part, because the internet created a new need.

Humans have an inborn need for simplicity. Or at least, they need complexity to be simplified enough that they can adjust to it. Previous generations lived in a slower world and may have experienced massive change once per generation. Our nervous systems can handle that rate. Now massive change comes about once a decade and it's starting to accelerate ever faster. Soon it'll be once a year, then once a month, once a week, once a day...But coaching reveals simplicity.

Yes, positive psychology and neuroplasticity provide us with amazing new tools. And yes, people with good mental health are poised to take best advantage of coaching. And yes definitely, people are evolving, especially those whose survival needs are well met and who have access to education, diversity, affluence, and of course, technology.

But even evolved people are having trouble keeping up.

And less evolved people, who may be poorer, more isolated, less educated, and have fewer opportunities; are falling behind the fastest. Many are virtually locked out of the job market. There's a big coaching opportunity there.

We used to say people needed coaching most when they were in transition, meaning transitioning from school to job, changing jobs, training for new jobs, starting businesses, living in new places, getting married, having kids, getting divorced, retiring. We now know that people will be changing professions every few years, that the one career constant will always be training for the next opportunity, that economies will take turns booming and many workers will travel around the world to stay employed. Meanwhile, changes in climate will increase social upheaval, spark wars, create famines, and will cause massive human migrations.

In the future, everyone will be transitioning all the time.

Being coached helped me make several transitions within one decade. In the future, people may need coaching constantly, because most humans can't handle that rate of change, but coaching can put people into the flow where learning becomes second nature, where wealth is less about what they have than what they can produce, where mental algorithms, like unique values, can help them think faster and make wise choices faster. That sense of flow is something our ancient ancestors had, but which we've lost during our "modern" period. What's needed for the future is a level of evolution that knits the ancient with the modern and post-modern. It used to only be available to elites, but now is available to anyone open enough to learn.

Coaching facilitates fast learning and smooth adjustment.

In the hypercomplex world of the future, demand for great coaching will be higher than ever. And though artificial intelligence can ask the questions, nothing but a human can bond with and believe in a coaching client. Two critical elements of effective coaching.

Simplicity in a hypercomplex world and someone who cares about and believes in us. That's what everyone needs, always.

Would you like to learn more about becoming a coach? Take a course and get certified:

Become a Certified Competent Coach Quickly

 



 

Topics: Coaching, coaching school, future of coaching, internet, Positive Psychology, Neuroplasticity

School of Coaching Mastery: Why Everyone is Welcome

Posted by Julia Stewart

United Nations Photo.jpg

There's a post going around Facebook that discusses whether the International Coach Federation (ICF) should host any more of its Global Coaching Conferences in the United States, now the the US has placed an immigration ban on people entering from certain countries, because many of the ICF's members are from those countries and would not be able to attend.

In addition, some non-Americans are now refusing to enter the US for either work or pleasure, based on ethical grounds. And I have seen statements from organizations I admire that iterate that they are inclusive, regardless the current political climate.

SCM has always been inclusive and I'm proud that our students come together in interactive webinars from North and South America, Europe, the Mideast, Africa, Asia, and Oceana in a spirit of respect and trust.

Where ever you are from, you are welcome here.

I am so glad we are a distance-learning company and the travel ban does not effect us. It would be heart wrenching for us all, but most of all for those who are directly affected.

We believe strongly in inclusiveness, regardless of skin color, religion, nationality, gender, or sexual orientation. If you agree, we welcome you.

Trust and respect are fundamental to relationships and are the foundation of honesty and ethics. No one can coach well without them. Therefore they are requirements of professional coaching. All of our students are required to sign a Best Practices for Professional Coaches pledge to that effect.

Here is a specific passage from that pledge:

  • Professional coaches are unconditionally respectful to all people regardless of gender, race, color, religion, nationality, politics, or sexual orientation. They are respectful because that is who they are, not just because it is the law or because they have taken an ethical oath.

If you are someone who is naturally respectful of others, regardless where they come from, you may fit in well at School of Coaching Mastery and you are welcome here.

Explore coach training programs:

Check Out Coach Training Programs Here.

 

 

Topics: coach training, School of Coaching Mastery, webinar, Facebook, ICF, best practices

Coaching Tip: The Last Motivational Tool You'll Ever Need

Posted by Julia Stewart

ofpush.jpg

Ah January, the beginning of a new year. It's the month to make resolutions and the busiest time of the year for the fitness industry. This is when you're most likely to be bombarded by motivational tips, tools, pep talks, speakers, posters, efficiency hacks, apps, books, coaching programs, etc., ad nauseum.

When I went to Flickr just now to find an image for this post under the keyword, "motivation", all I got were a zillion motivational posters like the one above. Have you ever wondered why there's so much motivational junk out there?

Because it doesn't work.

For instance, one the motivational posters I just saw has a formula on it: Sweat + Sacrifice = Success. Oh. Didn't that just solve everything for you?

No, me either.

If 99% of existing motivational junk was worth anything, the issue would be solved by now and you and your friends wouldn't be searching for better ways to accomplish what you need to do.

Up until now, if you truly wanted motivation, you had to get another person involved, like a personal trainer. I used to be a personal trainer in Manhattan and one of my clients dubbed me, "Motivation for Hire", because I showed up at her door every night whether she wanted to exercise or not (usually not). I got her healthy again and she felt virtuous when I left, but she paid me about $20,000 per year for that motivation.

I'm going to clue you in for free.

I'm going to share with you a tool that upgrades motivation so much, that people literally can do what they want, when they want, and still get more accomplished than they can with any other approach.

Yes, really.

I learned about this tool from the Father of the Coaching Profession, Thomas Leonard, who was one of the most prolific people I've ever known and he did whatever he wanted when he wanted. When I first tried doing whatever I wanted when I wanted, I had a blast and accomplished more on my To-Do list than ever. In fact, I mentioned that to the client above and she said, "If I tried that, I'd never get anything done."

Back then, I couldn't explain how it worked, but now I can.

The difference is to orient your life around what is uniquely you. Another way to say it is to build your life around what matters most to you. Most people think this will be difficult, or that they will fail, but the opposite is usually true. It certainly was for me.

Thomas called this TrueValues, but I call it your unique values, because it only works when you focus on what matters uniquely to you. Building your life around your unique values is transformative, joyful, meaningful, growth-oriented, and one of the great secrets of success.

It's not just motivating; it's inspiring.

If you have the integrity to identify and live what is uniquely important to you, you will never need another motivational tool, because you literally will be able to do what you want for the rest of your life. In fact, I suspect the reason you have trouble motivating yourself to do what does not matter to you, is because deep down, your heart is telling you your life is passing and you're not doing what you were designed for.

How to discover what's uniquely you?

Look at what you're driven to do now and ask yourself if it's a harmonious passion or an obsessive passion. If it's a harmonious passion, ask yourself what's most important about it to you? Keep asking until you have 10-20 answers. Then look at those answers and notice which ones resonate with you. Cross the others off the list.

Decide which of those harmonious reasons are the most important. You should end up with 3-5 of them. Now start making choices based on what fits those 3-5. Your life will begin to improve. When your entire life is oriented around your top unique values, you'll be able to do what ever you want when you want.

If you'd like some help with this, find a coach, below.

Find a Coach Here Directory

 

 

 

 

Topics: Thomas Leonard, Values, FIND A COACH, personal values, Motivation

Top Ten Coaching Tools that Can Help Your Thrive in an Uncertain World

Posted by Julia Stewart

tornado.jpg

Does it seem like the world gets crazier every day? Are you worried about your future? Are you wondering what you can do to survive and thrive? Would you like to help yourself and others flourish tomorrow and beyond?

Hyper-complexity is the word for what you’re experiencing and uncertainty is its inevitable companion.

Both can be your friend if you let them. The truth is there have never been more opportunities to thrive. Complexity virtually promises that. Become someone who sees possibilities early and knows what to do with them.

Here are ten coaching tools that can help anyone thrive in this hyper-complex world:

  1. Be curious. A wise Zen master once told me that we really don’t know what’s going to happen. That seems obvious, but we tend to forget it. If you’re feeling anxious about the future, you’re futurizing (a.k.a. worrying about scary future scenarios). What if you were curious instead? A major side benefit of curiosity is that you notice opportunities before they become problems. How to become more curious? Learn to catch yourself making assumptions. You do it all the time. Then make uncertainty your friend: Don’t decide how things will be. Wonder instead. Be mindful. Be grateful. Wonder what the possibilities are. This is one of the keys to #10, by the way.
  2. Be informed. Find the best sources of information and connect with them often. Avoid addictive, manipulative, or frightening sources, such as cable news, infomercials, click bait, propaganda, social media, high-pressure sales, etc. They confuse and exhaust. You need energy and clarity to stay abreast of hyper-complexity. Subscribe to one or two high-quality newspapers, because great information isn’t free. Get more education and training. Become an expert in at least one field and hang out with other experts. Become an insider, because information is power.
  3. Be prepared. The founder of the coaching profession, Thomas Leonard, believed in assisting clients to afford risk by increasing their reserves. What are reserves? They can be almost anything the client perceives they need more of from postage stamps, to information, to sleep. When people have reserves of practically everything they need, they become calm. I experienced this after 9/11 when I worked in Manhattan. The threat of attack was everywhere and unnerving. I had no control over it. But I could control how prepared I was, so I created a terrorist-attack reserve in an old gym bag with water, food, goggles, you name it, and kept it in my car for months. Terrorist threats continued, but my fears evaporated. A fun way to do this is to shop at Costco, or another big box store, with the question in mind, “What will I need most in the zombie apocalypse? A lifetime supply of toilet paper? Clean drinking water? A katana?” But go deeper. I have friends with solar homes, who are investing in Tesla batteries and going “off grid”. You can go off grid in financial ways, too. Have multiple income streams, more assets than debts, an emergency cash reserve, more insurance. Kidding aside, whatever future catastrophe scares you most, get ready for it now. You may never need your reserves, but the peace of mind they provide is something you'll need everyday forever.
  4. Be well cared for. Too many wish others would care for them. That’s for babies. Although your significant other can care for you, learn to care for yourself. Your health is a perfect place to begin. If your energy and wellbeing aren’t what you’d like, work with a physician or alternative care professional to get into perfect health. You may need to change your diet and exercise. Don’t let that stop you. When I was a personal trainer, my most loyal clients told me that they hired me to look better, but they stayed with me because they felt so much better. In other words, it was worth it. Right after 9/11, they told me about an unexpected benefit: They were strong enough to walk down 40 flights of stairs. You never know when you'll need your good health, but do care for yourself in fun ways, too. Listen to good music, play your favorite sports, engage in hobbies, or find work you love. Optimum wellbeing is your goal, because it improves quality of life regardless what happens.
  5. Be growing. No matter what happens in the world, you can be your best and be getting even better. It’s fun and inspiring and it helps you meet unexpected challenges. Increase your spiritual practice, become a better person, get more training or education. Practice your best skills and learn some new ones. For many, constant improvement is an important part of happiness. For us all, it’s part of getting ready for anything. We know technology will eliminate up to 50% of jobs in the next couple of decades, including some professions. The winners in this work revolution are those with the skills that will still be needed most. Coaching, by the way, entails skills that so far, elude robotics and artificial intelligence and the most successful coaches are those whose personal growth is most developed. In fact, it’s part of our job description. How’s that for a new marketable skill?
  6. Be independent. The world around you may or may not come crashing down, but your personal world can continue to thrive. Become self-employed, for instance, and never fear another layoff. Never wonder if your employer will find a way to deny your retirement benefits. Never worry if you can find another job. What skills or expertise do you have that others would pay for? Service-oriented businesses are relatively easy and inexpensive to start and usually you can charge much more than a traditional employer would pay.
  7. Be well connected. Those who balance independence with connection are likely to succeed best and those who are most independent need connection most of all and are freest in choosing it. Thomas Leonard liked to say, “You become who you hang out with.” Hang out with successful people. Hang out with those whose personal growth is most developed. Hang out with people who are creating a better world and are optimistic, curious, and kind.
  8. Be guided by what matters. When you’re clear about your unique values, your choices get simple, even in a complex world. You may know who you care most for, what you’ve been told to value, or what you think you need to do, but hardly anyone is clear about their unique values. Those of us who are, have a powerful advantage. We can orient our lives around what matters most to us, rather than what scares us. That instantly upgrades both the meaning and joy in our lives, helps us pursue our passions, and succeed most easily. But knowing your unique values isn’t as simple as it may sound. The best way to discover yours is to work with your own coach, or take the Coaching Values, Needs, and Strengths course.
  9. Be wise. Wisdom helps us stay centered in a storm, so learn from every mistake. Upgrade your spiritual and personal growth. Hang out with wise people. Know your unique values and you will instantly upgrade your wisdom. But wisdom tends to grow gradually. We are one of the first generations that has an opportunity to possess wisdom while we’re still healthy. That’s an enormous upgrade. Welcome the challenges and problems that will make you wise.
  10. Notice opportunities. If you want to make friends with hyper-complexity and uncertainty, use all the tools in this post: curiosity, information, preparation, self-care, growth, independence, connection, values, and wisdom to help you see what’s coming faster and notice the opportunities for you to contribute, succeed, and thrive. Add one more: positivity. Research by Barbara Fredrickson shows that those who are more positive, notice opportunities for greater good, than those who are worried, trying to solve problems, or generally are negative. The first nine items on this list will help you engage positively with uncertainty. By doing so, you’ll notice the good that’s coming to you. You can also help those around you. Ultimately, you’ll help the whole world.

Coaches have been using these tools successfully for decades. They are as timeless as they are powerful.

If you’d love to learn powerful coaching tools and join a profession that is high-paid and growing, and you’d like to do so quickly, the Certified Competent Coach course is starting soon. Become a certified coach in eight weeks and learn more tools for success.

Become a Certified Competent Coach Quickly

Topics: Coaching, Thomas Leonard, Become a Certified Coach, Barbara L Fredrickson, certified competent coach

How to Put Gratitude to Work in Your Life

Posted by Julia Stewart

Express Gratitude JFK Quote by Brainy Quote.jpg

Thursday is Thanksgiving Day, or National Gratitude Day, as I like to call it.

We talk about practicing gratitude as if it is nothing but a nice thought, word, or feeling; a pleasant way to practice mindfulness. But it is much more than that. Gratitude is also a way of life. It's way more powerful when you live it, rather than just list it.

We have many years of research from positive psychology giants such as Robert Emmons, Martin Seligman, Barbara Fredrickson, Sonja Lyubomirsky, and Dacher Keltner.

Positive Psychology researchers have fine tuned what we understand about the power of gratitude.

We know, as a result, that gratitude practices are among the most powerful in shifting a life from languishing to flourishing. But not every gratitude practice is created equal. Habitually listing what you are grateful for everyday turns out to NOT be the the most effective way to express gratitude.

However, living your appreciation for what you have been given by your family, community, and country is powerful for you as well as for all those around you.

Don't settle just for wellbeing; create the magnificent life that is meant for you and others.

As the beloved American President, John F. Kennedy said, "As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them."

What would it mean for you to live by your gratitude? How would your life change? How will you change the lives of others?

Here are a few ways I try to do this:

  • I was blessed with a great Mom. She gave me the gift of knowing, beyond doubt, that I was unconditionally loved from the very beginning. It's something that can never be taken away. She loved all children and loved giving to a particular charity called, the Smile Train, that uses virtually all of its donations to repair cleft palates for impoverished children, who will be bullied at school, or kept home because of their appearance, and may never find a job or spouse. She felt blessed to be able to change the lives of little ones. Now that she's gone, I give to this charity in her name, knowing that I am truly making a difference. It feels wonderful and it is wonderful for many others, as well.
  • I was also blessed to be a student of the late, Thomas Leonard, who was known for his integrity and generosity in establishing coaching as a genuine profession. I pay it forward by teaching his principles to my students and by helping to move the profession forward by incorporating the latest research in positive psychology, neuroscience, and emotional intelligence into the coaching tools we use. Experience early Thomas Leonard with the free ecourse based on his original writings about the Principles of Attraction.
  • And I'm am continually blessed by the incredible caliber of the coaching students, volunteers, and staff at School of Coaching Mastery. They are the true pioneers of positive psychology coaching. Their success means the success of many others who come in contact with them. I frequently thank them by adding new content, resources, and benefits to the Certified Positive Psychology Coach program.
  • And of course, I'm blessed by the over 20,000 readers who visit this blog every month. I try to include useful content in my posts and in the posts of our talented guest writers. To you, I want to say thanks today, by offering you a discount coupon good until the end of this year, for $100USD off any course or coach training program. That's more than 50% off the Best Practices mini-course. Plus, the keystone course of our positive psychology coaching around the "strange attractors" (a.k.a. the little things that make a big difference), Coaching Values, Needs, and Strengths, begins this coming Monday.

Use this code to save $100USD: Gratitude2016

Save $100 on a Course with Code: Gratitude2016

Topics: gratitude, Thomas Leonard, Certified Positive Psychology Coach, positive psychology coaching

The Critical Missing Link in Positive Psychology

Posted by Julia Stewart

Photo by Justin Kern - Missing Links in Positive Psychology.jpg

Positive psychology has been ignoring what matters most in life.

You already know we love positive psychology and that emotional intelligence picks up where positive psychology leaves off. But here's a missing link to positive psychology that hardly anybody mentions...

Because for on thing, the way most people talk about this missing link just isn't sexy. That's because it's been presented to most of us as a "should" (something we should care about and act upon), rather than what it really is: completely unique and personal to each of us.

When we approach this missing link from our uniqueness, it becomes inspiring.

When we approach it from what's been imposed upon us, as a "should", it deflates us. No wonder we don't talk about it! Some coaches even think they should avoid asking questions about it!

I'm talking about what matters most to you: your personal values.

These are often not the same as what you parents, schools, religious, or political leaders taught you to value. Taught values help us fit into society. They make us homogeneous. They may be uninspiring, but you find yourself living your life around them - and then wondering why your life feels flat, boring, or lifeless. 

Personal values are unique to you, uniquely energizing and inspiring to you.

Recently some fascinating research was done on values under the guise of mindfulness, a positive psychology tool that is so thoroughly researched, it has its own research journal called, Mindfulness. It's well-known that practicing mindfulness leads to greater wellbeing, which is the ultimate measure of positive psychology. New research shows people who practice mindfulness are more likely to act on their values. Current research is attempting to prove whether lived values are the main reason mindfulness increases wellbeing. 

Personal values contain the blueprint for your calling in this life.

Nothing could be sexier! And like finger prints, everyone's values are unique. Unfortunately, most people have no idea what their personal values even are.

Here are a few more important points about personal values:

  • Values are personal, unique, and individual.
  • Values help us show up authentically.
  • Values are what matters most to each of us.
  • Values point to our unique long-lasting happiness and fulfillment.
  • Values point out your calling and life purpose.
  • Values integrate heart and mind.
  • Values integrate us with other people.
  • Values help us feel fully alive.
  • Values help us serve others.
  • Values determine our actions more than anything else.
  • Values give meaning to our lives.
  • Values help us harmonize our relationships.
  • Values help us integrate our emotions.
  • Values inspire us.
  • Values help us reach our goals.
  • Values give us greater freedom if we're aware of them.
  • Values are catalyzed by mindfulness.
  • Values lead to greater wellbeing.

All of the above is wonderful, but most people don't even know what their personal values are and often we confuse our needs with out values and needs are a whole different thing.

We can't make the most of our lives without identifying and activating our true values. 

Positive psychology coaches are perfectly positioned to help people identify and act on their true values. But most positive psychology coaching is strengths-based only and without our personal values, using our strengths feels empty and meaningless. It's time we fully integrate values with strengths. 

Values are the missing link in wellbeing.

The Certified Positive Psychology Coach program thoroughly integrates strengths and values and two modules that focus on values are coming up soon: The Psychology of Values and Personal Evolution and Coaching Values, Needs, and Strengths. Each course can be taken individually and is approved for 8 ICF ACSTH or CCEs.

Coach with the missing link of positive psychology and help your clients achieve what matters most to them.

Click below to choose a values-based coach-training module.

Upcoming Coach-Training Courses

 

Topics: Certified Positive Psychology Coach, Positive Psychology, positive psychology coaching, Strengths, Needs, mindfulness, Values, positive psychology coaches, personal values, wellbeing

A Coach's Guide to Navigating a Trump Presidency

Posted by Julia Stewart

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I write this early on Wednesday morning, partly for me; partly for you.

The election has not yet been called, but a Trump Presidency seems almost certain.

No one is more stunned. I was quite certain this would turn out differently and yet, I don't believe in fighting what is, at least not on a spiritual level. So I've done a massive amount of processing in a couple of hours to get to a place of acceptance.

Trump will either be a great president, or a disaster, but he's unlikely to be mediocre. 

So what does it mean for you, your family, friends, clients, country, planet?

I sure don't know, but if this is where we are, then we need to accept this reality with minimal panic and remorse. Shed some tears, if you need to (I did), but don't become obsessed with how bad it's going to be.

Let's face it: you are privileged to live in a prosperous country and most likely you will be fine.

Yes, there will be pain for many. Hate crimes are on the rise. The stock market has already plunged; at least one economist has predicted a global recession.  And our climate is dangerously fragile.

Do reach out to friends, including those who voted differently. Try to understand and find common ground.

But most of all, as a coach, you need to be your very best. People will be turning to their coaches to help them process this new world we're in. You need to be able to coach them well.

That means taking better care of yourself than ever. It means getting focused on your needs and making sure they are met. If that means caring for your health, or finances, or business, do it. It also means keeping your loved ones close and caring for them.

Also take care of your spiritual self. Connect with your values, your beliefs, and live them fully. We'll need to grow faster than ever to get beyond where we are now. Your spiritual practice, whether meditation, prayer, fellowship, or kindness; will get you through and help you be your greatest self. We grow fastest when times are difficult - if we take care to not let ourselves be taken down.

Sometimes things have to get worse before genuine transformation can take place.

I had an upbeat post about positive psychology scheduled for this morning. Watch for it tomorrow.

Topics: coach, Positive Psychology, Trump

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