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Beyond Coaching Questions: The Conversations That Coaches Dread

 
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Dreaded coaching conversationsMy colleague and friend, Deborah Brown-Volkman, and I are planning a coaching communications project that moves beyond, ‘Which coaching questions should I ask?’ and covers the trickiest and stickiest conversations that professional coaches must have, but often dread.

 

 

You know the coaching conversations that give you sweaty palms:
  • How do you handle the client who doesn’t pay you on time?
  • How do you tell your client that you really can’t give them an extra 20-30 minutes every week?
  • How do you tell your client that s/he needs therapy instead of coaching?
  • What do you say to the client who ‘can’t afford’ you?
  • How do you raise your fees without losing your clients?
  • [insert your dreaded client conversation question here]

My students and mentees ask me these questions everyday, but Deborah and I are creating a new resource to give you answers and ideas that are right at your fingertips.


The truth is, as a coach, you need advanced communication skills. And if you don’t have them, your peace of mind will suffer and so will your coaching.

“Success in life is directly proportional to the number of awkward conversations you’re willing to have.” - Anonymous

Do you worry about how to handle touchy conversations with your coaching clients? Then please share which conversations keep you up at night in our comments section, below.

Tell us some of the hardest or most difficult conversations you've had or don't want to have. Your questions about communication best practices for coaches will help shape this project greatly - and will help us to better help you.

Please share your questions below. We’ll be happy to offer answers or methods for finding your own best answers, so you never have to dread having another uncomfortable conversation again. And if you have a great story about how you handled a tough conversation, we’d love to hear it - and you might just help a fellow coach get a good night’s sleep tonight!

[UPDATE: Deborah and I are hosting 4 low-cost live, interactive tele-webinars on how to have the toughest coaching conversations of your career. Click below for more info...]

register-for-dreaded-conversations-webin

Ask your questions about dreaded coaching conversations, below...

Become a master coach and get the life and business you really want.

Comments

What do u do when your client is lying or keeping v important information.Such as
Posted @ Friday, December 09, 2011 8:49 AM by Nihal Soliman
Hi Nihal - This is a very broad question, but it hints at a trust issue between you and your client. Trust is the most basic element of a good coaching relationship. In most cases the client will be more honest and open when they feel they are in a safe space. For example: You may need to reassure your client that everything they say to you is strictly confidential and then keep your promise. - Thanks for asking!
Posted @ Friday, December 09, 2011 9:04 AM by Julia Stewart
What do you do when an employee is very defensive when coached for poor performance and one of the challenges is limited time and via phone?
Posted @ Friday, December 09, 2011 10:14 AM by Beatrice Perry
Hi Beatrice - I can see how this might be challenging. It sounds like you need to quickly shift the conversation away from a focus on just what's wrong. The client probably needs to be acknowledged for their strengths and any accomplishments that they do have. From there, you might mention that the company wouldn't invest in coaching for the employee, if they didn't value them. You may also need to work with the company on how they present coaching to employees. Coaching is increasingly seen as a perq or even something to brag about. Otherwise, the people you coach could be extremely resistant and may not improve.
Posted @ Friday, December 09, 2011 10:44 AM by Julia Stewart
Thanks for this article: great subject and very important questions. I look forward to reading the answers to the above mentioned questions. I’d like to add the following question: How do you handle a client who keeps giving excuses for not doing what they agreed to do? It seems that they are not ready to move forward. Thanks again.
Posted @ Friday, December 09, 2011 11:18 AM by Zafira Labadi
Hi Zafira - Thanks for your question. There could be a great many reasons for a client not moving forward on agreed actions.  
 
One could be that you've not fully clarified what's going on for the client. Another could be that the goal is really a 'should'. Another could be that the client doesn't have an environment that supports the actions. 
 
But you've offered an important clue: Maybe the client isn't ready to move forward. That's what you need to explore with your client.  
 
Just share lightly what you've observed and ask the client what s/he thinks is going on. Could be a juicy coaching session!
Posted @ Friday, December 09, 2011 11:33 AM by Julia Stewart
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